The Manasseh Dreams have struck again. Gene, I think you are right… you may be on to something.
A woman in a yellow-framed wheelchair rolled up next to me. “I’ve been waiting for you.” She told me.
Who was this attractive, openhearted, middle-aged woman with the pale green eyes that sees down to the deaths of your soul? Every time she smiles, she can melt the iciness of the coldest of hearts.
“Huh? For me?” Flabbergasted, I blurted out, “You’re not real!”
She locked her wheelchair in place and then she gently lifted herself up out of the rolling chair, took two steps closer to me and plop herself down into my lap. I felt the sensation of the weight and the warmth of her body upon my lap… she felt very real. She put her right arm around my neck and with those pale green eyes of hers, stares into my eyes right down to the core of my being and simply reply, “Oh, I’m real alright.”
She than gently leans her head against my cheekbone as if she was at home with herself. Have you ever had a dream that felt so real, but you knew it was just a dream? “Okay, if you’re so real, than tell me your name.” I asked her. Never in a dream has a woman’s name been reveal until now.
“Chelsea, my name is Chelsea. But, I don’t like my name. You can call me… “ (POP) Dammed it… day light streams into my bedroom window. There, with my blankets huddle around my neck, staring at the trees outside my bedroom window.
I swear the dream felt so real… vivid in every color, detail in every action and motion, sensational in every feeling and emotion. I should’ve known it was all a dream with the violent sidebar of a ritual death, which seem surreal and its flake scenery that didn’t make any since.
The Love’s Elixir community may grow weary of my Manasseh dreams in my ego opinion I’m limiting it to the You Are God blog. I believe my inner lover has retired for the evening.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Christmas Dreams Of Wisdom
I had another one of mine “Manasseh” dreams during the night… a long, detail, vivid dream that leaves you exhausted by morning’s light.
A Mormon Church leader wanted to challenge me on my rebellious apostate attitude, by charging me with insufficient pure faith. In my dream, he declared, “Peter, you are unfit for the kingdom of God, because you lack the pure faith that the Son of Man died on the cross for our sins!”
In days leading up to this dream, I have been questioning my faith. What is faith? It seems to me I no longer believe in the traditional Christian Judaic way of life.
I was in a Portland park, as the dream continue, surrounded by a small band of riff-raft, no more than twelve, dress in raggedy old clothes, I was speaking my own brand of philosophy and religion to my little band of followers, “Why do you need salvation from someone who died on a cross, when you’re already made perfect in the image of your Creator?”
I notice a slender woman standing close to our little “Hippie church” in the park trying to listen in on what was being said. She was dress to the nines… expensive in taste of style of clothing, which did not fit the norm. In my dream, she had on a red satin mini dress covered by a thick fur coat and a fur head bun. Who was she and what was she doing at my little hippie church?
Was she the wife of the Mormon Church leader who earlier commended me, sent to spy on me? She followed us as we move through the park, stopping near a large nardly-twisted oak tree. One of my disciples started speaking, “Faith is knowing that the trees will grow… the sun will rise and set with each passing day… the rivers and streams will flow to the oceans. And the Universe will provide for all of your needs.”
The woman, who have been following us, came up to me and whisper in my ear, “Where do you learn such wisdom?”
The dream was over. I was here, alone in my bed, on Christmas morning. Something inside me told me to blog about this dream.
Where do we learn about such wisdom? To me, love is the wisdom.
Happy Birthday, Yeshua…
A Mormon Church leader wanted to challenge me on my rebellious apostate attitude, by charging me with insufficient pure faith. In my dream, he declared, “Peter, you are unfit for the kingdom of God, because you lack the pure faith that the Son of Man died on the cross for our sins!”
In days leading up to this dream, I have been questioning my faith. What is faith? It seems to me I no longer believe in the traditional Christian Judaic way of life.
I was in a Portland park, as the dream continue, surrounded by a small band of riff-raft, no more than twelve, dress in raggedy old clothes, I was speaking my own brand of philosophy and religion to my little band of followers, “Why do you need salvation from someone who died on a cross, when you’re already made perfect in the image of your Creator?”
I notice a slender woman standing close to our little “Hippie church” in the park trying to listen in on what was being said. She was dress to the nines… expensive in taste of style of clothing, which did not fit the norm. In my dream, she had on a red satin mini dress covered by a thick fur coat and a fur head bun. Who was she and what was she doing at my little hippie church?
Was she the wife of the Mormon Church leader who earlier commended me, sent to spy on me? She followed us as we move through the park, stopping near a large nardly-twisted oak tree. One of my disciples started speaking, “Faith is knowing that the trees will grow… the sun will rise and set with each passing day… the rivers and streams will flow to the oceans. And the Universe will provide for all of your needs.”
The woman, who have been following us, came up to me and whisper in my ear, “Where do you learn such wisdom?”
The dream was over. I was here, alone in my bed, on Christmas morning. Something inside me told me to blog about this dream.
Where do we learn about such wisdom? To me, love is the wisdom.
Happy Birthday, Yeshua…
Friday, December 12, 2008
The Face Of Fear
Sleep evades me as a painted scenario unfolds within my mind’s eye. My mind is torture by thoughts of the pending realities created by years of self-neglect. After years of the lies, mental, emotional mutilation and abuse, the Cosmic Universe of cause and effect has run its course.
This blog is in no way intended for the eyes of the loving hearts of Elixir’s people who already step through the threshold of self-petty and have conquer their daemons. If some tread their way to this obscure blog, be ware… this is not going to be pretty.
Pictured the painted scenario starts out with heavy rains, gusty winds. The temperature starts to plummet, rain quickly turns to snow. Alone, on the streets of some distant state, a young woman, in her twenty-second of life is turned out by an abusive so-called lover.
With no one to turn to… her mother long since dead cause by spinal meningitis brought on by years of drug abuse… her father, emotionally detach, preoccupied by making a meager living so he would not be in fear of living on the streets. Yes, her father lives in fear, with the economy tanking, unmarketable by his physical condition, the lost of his job can be devastating.
Her siblings have disowned her due to issues of deceit. Her paternal grandparents refuse to acknowledge her existences. Her maternal grandmother, bitter by the deaths of her daughter and her husband, cannot deal with her granddaughter’s diminish mental and emotional capacity.
The lack of family, friends, shelter and income can have demoralizing effects on the intellect. What are the alternative choices she can make? With everything in her world conspires against her, she may feel she has but one option…
Check out…
Exit…
Terminate…
Suicide.
This blog is in no way intended for the eyes of the loving hearts of Elixir’s people who already step through the threshold of self-petty and have conquer their daemons. If some tread their way to this obscure blog, be ware… this is not going to be pretty.
Pictured the painted scenario starts out with heavy rains, gusty winds. The temperature starts to plummet, rain quickly turns to snow. Alone, on the streets of some distant state, a young woman, in her twenty-second of life is turned out by an abusive so-called lover.
With no one to turn to… her mother long since dead cause by spinal meningitis brought on by years of drug abuse… her father, emotionally detach, preoccupied by making a meager living so he would not be in fear of living on the streets. Yes, her father lives in fear, with the economy tanking, unmarketable by his physical condition, the lost of his job can be devastating.
Her siblings have disowned her due to issues of deceit. Her paternal grandparents refuse to acknowledge her existences. Her maternal grandmother, bitter by the deaths of her daughter and her husband, cannot deal with her granddaughter’s diminish mental and emotional capacity.
The lack of family, friends, shelter and income can have demoralizing effects on the intellect. What are the alternative choices she can make? With everything in her world conspires against her, she may feel she has but one option…
Check out…
Exit…
Terminate…
Suicide.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Awakening In Death
I am Manasseh. I am the prefect love of God. There is too much life force in this body to give up now. I have too much vital energy to throw in the towel.
My dad expressed to me, “The day I can no longer wipe my own butt is the day I pull the plug on my life.” Of course he express these sentiments back when I was still in my finite “Mormon” brain. In my limited understanding of the Right To Die, I rile against him. I demanded to know what gave him the right to played god with his life. Little did I know it was his God-given birthright to do this about anything he wanted to do with his life! My dad has made his life comfortable for himself and for those around him.
Today, I experience for the first time the Oregon Death with Dignity Act. A co-worker friend, a member of the Tigard Home Depot family, chose to take his own life. After a long illness with difficulties breathing and being in a great deal of physical pain, after Ronnie said his good-byes to family and friends, ended his life this morning. I observe somberness, sadness and disturbances in my co-workers this morning when it was announced Ronnie was gone. The disturbances in some of my co-workers who cannot accept the choice Ronnie had made reminded me of the time where I was many years ago. There were some co-workers who were close to Ronnie didn’t come in to work today couldn’t cope with his lost.
In my awakening, I have learned we have the God-given right to choose to end our life at a time when the life force is fading or when the physical body no longer function to serves it purpose in comfort without the use of drugs. I respect Ronnie’s choice and echo my dad’s sentiments, I will be damn if I let someone feed me or wipe my ass at the end of my life. I am no longer a Mormon; I do not need to suffer until the “bitter-shity” end, as Ronnie would say.
My dad expressed to me, “The day I can no longer wipe my own butt is the day I pull the plug on my life.” Of course he express these sentiments back when I was still in my finite “Mormon” brain. In my limited understanding of the Right To Die, I rile against him. I demanded to know what gave him the right to played god with his life. Little did I know it was his God-given birthright to do this about anything he wanted to do with his life! My dad has made his life comfortable for himself and for those around him.
Today, I experience for the first time the Oregon Death with Dignity Act. A co-worker friend, a member of the Tigard Home Depot family, chose to take his own life. After a long illness with difficulties breathing and being in a great deal of physical pain, after Ronnie said his good-byes to family and friends, ended his life this morning. I observe somberness, sadness and disturbances in my co-workers this morning when it was announced Ronnie was gone. The disturbances in some of my co-workers who cannot accept the choice Ronnie had made reminded me of the time where I was many years ago. There were some co-workers who were close to Ronnie didn’t come in to work today couldn’t cope with his lost.
In my awakening, I have learned we have the God-given right to choose to end our life at a time when the life force is fading or when the physical body no longer function to serves it purpose in comfort without the use of drugs. I respect Ronnie’s choice and echo my dad’s sentiments, I will be damn if I let someone feed me or wipe my ass at the end of my life. I am no longer a Mormon; I do not need to suffer until the “bitter-shity” end, as Ronnie would say.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Brock Obama
I just watch Brock Obama 30 minute's speech. I had tears in my eyes. Oh my God! If this man is not elected President of United States of America, as a nation, we are in deep Shit.
Brock Obama, You Are God!
Brock Obama, You Are God!
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Peter's Truth Revealed
Peter jolted awakes gasping a breath of air. Looking around by cocking his head quickly back and forth.
Peter exclaims, “What happen? Where am I? Where is my beloved community? Where are my beloveds?”
Peter gets up and starts searching for his beloved community. He starts go into fear when he realized he couldn’t find them. He begins to gets upset and angry, thinking they’re avoiding him.
Two months go by with no contact from the Crucible community. Peter wonders if they have forgotten about him. Just as he about to lash out at the community of his longing, a faint and distinct echo enters his heart…
“You treat your daughter this way…”
Peter: “What…? Huh…? Manasseh?”
Manasseh: “Yes Peter, the way you treat your daughter is the way the Universe treats you. You ignore the calls from your baby girl, and the Universe which is your beloved community is going to ignore your calls.”
Peter: “I feel alone, isolated and shut down.”
Manasseh: “Don’t you think your daughter might be feeling the same way… alone, isolated and shut down?”
Peter: “What do I do? Anna-Marie was belligerent to me the last I spoke to her on the phone. I don’t want to talk to someone who is mean to me.”
Manasseh: “Now, you’re making up excuses.”
Peter: “She was degrading me as a human being. I’m not going to be her doormat. Why don’t I feel supported from my higher power?”
Manasseh: “Why don’t you ask for support from the Crucible community with communicating with your daughter?”
Peter: “I thought they’re ignoring me and didn’t want to speak to me until I made contact with Anna-Marie?”
Manasseh: “This is true. But, they are willing to help if you make an effort to follow through and complete your assignments. Speaking of completing your assignments, Gene is discouraged with you for not following through with your assignment with contacting the disable community. The Crucible community… Gene, Anakha and David do not feel the need to hang with someone who doesn’t follow their advice to make them a better person.”
Peter: “If I had made contact with the disable community of Portland, I would have been allowed admittance into the Crucible community?”
Manasseh: “That would have been a possibility. Peter, I don’t you realize you have a problem with finishing your tasks. You have a problem with doing your homework. In the Crucible, there was a lot of homework given out. People were expected to follow through on their tasks. Hell Peter, you didn’t even finish your work in the Mystical Activism community with Martie Geltz and Christine Carter. What makes you think the Crucible community wanted to admit you?”
Peter: “I hurt my knee. I hate doing homework. I think it’s a waste of time when I can do other things. I hate writing papers and doing research on things that do not interest me. I don’t like calling and talking to people on the phone.”
Manasseh: “These are all bullshit excuses. And the Crucible community doesn’t look too lightly on excuses. The Crucible community is all about commitment and following through on that commitment. For this very reason, you were not admitted into the Lover’s Crucible. You just found the answer to your question. As I told you before, we are not separated… We Are One in the same being.”
Manasseh: “Peter, I want to commend you and thank you for honoring your commitment to finishing and posting your blog by your birthday. Your friends, Jeff and Hans are on their way to your house to take you to the beach. Have a wonderful birthday, Peter. Remember, I love you. Your Angles and Guides love you.”
Peter exclaims, “What happen? Where am I? Where is my beloved community? Where are my beloveds?”
Peter gets up and starts searching for his beloved community. He starts go into fear when he realized he couldn’t find them. He begins to gets upset and angry, thinking they’re avoiding him.
Two months go by with no contact from the Crucible community. Peter wonders if they have forgotten about him. Just as he about to lash out at the community of his longing, a faint and distinct echo enters his heart…
“You treat your daughter this way…”
Peter: “What…? Huh…? Manasseh?”
Manasseh: “Yes Peter, the way you treat your daughter is the way the Universe treats you. You ignore the calls from your baby girl, and the Universe which is your beloved community is going to ignore your calls.”
Peter: “I feel alone, isolated and shut down.”
Manasseh: “Don’t you think your daughter might be feeling the same way… alone, isolated and shut down?”
Peter: “What do I do? Anna-Marie was belligerent to me the last I spoke to her on the phone. I don’t want to talk to someone who is mean to me.”
Manasseh: “Now, you’re making up excuses.”
Peter: “She was degrading me as a human being. I’m not going to be her doormat. Why don’t I feel supported from my higher power?”
Manasseh: “Why don’t you ask for support from the Crucible community with communicating with your daughter?”
Peter: “I thought they’re ignoring me and didn’t want to speak to me until I made contact with Anna-Marie?”
Manasseh: “This is true. But, they are willing to help if you make an effort to follow through and complete your assignments. Speaking of completing your assignments, Gene is discouraged with you for not following through with your assignment with contacting the disable community. The Crucible community… Gene, Anakha and David do not feel the need to hang with someone who doesn’t follow their advice to make them a better person.”
Peter: “If I had made contact with the disable community of Portland, I would have been allowed admittance into the Crucible community?”
Manasseh: “That would have been a possibility. Peter, I don’t you realize you have a problem with finishing your tasks. You have a problem with doing your homework. In the Crucible, there was a lot of homework given out. People were expected to follow through on their tasks. Hell Peter, you didn’t even finish your work in the Mystical Activism community with Martie Geltz and Christine Carter. What makes you think the Crucible community wanted to admit you?”
Peter: “I hurt my knee. I hate doing homework. I think it’s a waste of time when I can do other things. I hate writing papers and doing research on things that do not interest me. I don’t like calling and talking to people on the phone.”
Manasseh: “These are all bullshit excuses. And the Crucible community doesn’t look too lightly on excuses. The Crucible community is all about commitment and following through on that commitment. For this very reason, you were not admitted into the Lover’s Crucible. You just found the answer to your question. As I told you before, we are not separated… We Are One in the same being.”
Manasseh: “Peter, I want to commend you and thank you for honoring your commitment to finishing and posting your blog by your birthday. Your friends, Jeff and Hans are on their way to your house to take you to the beach. Have a wonderful birthday, Peter. Remember, I love you. Your Angles and Guides love you.”
Thursday, July 10, 2008
My Story Is Love
I read Anakha’s latest blog this morning and thought to myself; she is so much more advance than I am.
Than the thought occurred to me; why am I comparing myself to her? She have had so much more education and experience in the corporate world.
Than that voice inside my head, the voice I haven’t heard in a while, said… “You do not know the full story.”
What is the full story? All I know is my story. I’ve been told, we not our story. What does that mean, I’m not my story? When I try running my story with others, it doesn’t work anymore… not with me… not with anyone.
What good is my story if I can’t use it anymore? My life has change… I have change, the cells and the DNA in my body have all change. Something inside has shifted. I can no longer use my story as an excuse to get by.
Why can’t I go back to my poor miserable self… to have my pity party? Why can’t I blame or accuse other for my pain and misery? Why can’t I run the sad Mormon with cerebral palsy story?
I guess I go back to sleep… back to my poor miserable self. I do have a choice. But, it will never work the same. I can never be same way again.
The story has change. I now take responsibility for my life… I am now accountable for what happens in my life. I created it. I AM GOD!
I have been transformed into Love… I am love. I am lovable. I am loved. And I am loving.
Than the thought occurred to me; why am I comparing myself to her? She have had so much more education and experience in the corporate world.
Than that voice inside my head, the voice I haven’t heard in a while, said… “You do not know the full story.”
What is the full story? All I know is my story. I’ve been told, we not our story. What does that mean, I’m not my story? When I try running my story with others, it doesn’t work anymore… not with me… not with anyone.
What good is my story if I can’t use it anymore? My life has change… I have change, the cells and the DNA in my body have all change. Something inside has shifted. I can no longer use my story as an excuse to get by.
Why can’t I go back to my poor miserable self… to have my pity party? Why can’t I blame or accuse other for my pain and misery? Why can’t I run the sad Mormon with cerebral palsy story?
I guess I go back to sleep… back to my poor miserable self. I do have a choice. But, it will never work the same. I can never be same way again.
The story has change. I now take responsibility for my life… I am now accountable for what happens in my life. I created it. I AM GOD!
I have been transformed into Love… I am love. I am lovable. I am loved. And I am loving.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
A Moment Of Ecstasy
Peter & Jack sucking faceIn whatever form God shows up as… It is always a joy to be loved by someone. Even Jack knows how to love.
It's sad when you're nothing more than a dead fish. Why would you want to sleep when there so much life to live?... Or when there is so much love to give and to receive.
Peter, this is not the time to fall asleep when there is so much healing work that needs to be done in the world.
There is so much joy in this world, I don't want miss out. I don't want to miss a single moment of the ecstasy.
I love my beloved community. Many Blessings my beloved ones.P.S. Thank you Anakha for the amazing pictures.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Readings From A Psyche
On Sunday evenings, I attend a spiritualist church in SW Portland. The church is held in the home of Geoffrey Knight. The guest intuitive for that evening was Renee Madison.
As Renee was interacting with her audience, she asked us if anyone lost a sweetheart? I reluctantly raise my hand not knowing where this was going.
She continued her line of questing, “Your wife or sweetheart is on the other side?” I nodded.
“She says she’s sorry for hurting you.” Renee continued.
“How do you know it’s her?” I asked.
“She stopped pushing her way through.” Renee reply. “She’s really sorry for making your life tough.”
I was socked and flabbergasted that Sherri was contacting me form the beyond after some seven years following her passing. Sherri Lynn Howard reportedly died in 2000 from Spinal Meningitis brought on by years of substance abuse.
“Why did she wait so long to come through now?” I asked the fast talking medium.
“There’s this thing called guilt. But, she is in a place of healing now. She is only now learning to love who she is.” Renee told her audience.
“Does she want to come back in a another form?” I asked.
“No. Not right now. She is in a place of healing and comfort. She wants to stay in that comfort for a while.” Renee said as she turned away and started a reading for someone else in the audience.
Renee Madison is a remarkable gifted psyche. Many Blessings.
As Renee was interacting with her audience, she asked us if anyone lost a sweetheart? I reluctantly raise my hand not knowing where this was going.
She continued her line of questing, “Your wife or sweetheart is on the other side?” I nodded.
“She says she’s sorry for hurting you.” Renee continued.
“How do you know it’s her?” I asked.
“She stopped pushing her way through.” Renee reply. “She’s really sorry for making your life tough.”
I was socked and flabbergasted that Sherri was contacting me form the beyond after some seven years following her passing. Sherri Lynn Howard reportedly died in 2000 from Spinal Meningitis brought on by years of substance abuse.
“Why did she wait so long to come through now?” I asked the fast talking medium.
“There’s this thing called guilt. But, she is in a place of healing now. She is only now learning to love who she is.” Renee told her audience.
“Does she want to come back in a another form?” I asked.
“No. Not right now. She is in a place of healing and comfort. She wants to stay in that comfort for a while.” Renee said as she turned away and started a reading for someone else in the audience.
Renee Madison is a remarkable gifted psyche. Many Blessings.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
The Journey to the Treasure in the Heart!
The Guru has return! She has return to the Heart. Portland has an undiscovered Guru who teaches the same teachings Yeshua taught some two thousand years ago. Loving what is… Loving yourself… Loving your own body… Loving your circumstance that you’re in… Loving your environment.
Yeshua said, “Know ye not you are gods?” By that he meant you have the power to change your life… your circumstance… your environment. Mahatma Gandhi said, “Be the change you want see.”
Yeshua said, “Know ye not you are gods?” By that he meant you have the power to change your life… your circumstance… your environment. Mahatma Gandhi said, “Be the change you want see.”
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Charles Jason Howard
There is a Twenty-six year old man reportedly running around Moscow Idaho with my DNA. I haven’t seen this young man since 1992 when he came to visit me in Aloha, Oregon. Aloha is a community just west of Beaverton. I live there with my second wife, Pamela.
Charles Jason was born on this date in 1982 at the University of Utah Hospital in Salt Lake City, UT. A fond memory of Charlie, the name I gave him while of toddler age, would go on excursions with me on errands around the city of his birth.
I lived with him for the first five yearsof his life until his mother and I were divorce in early 1988. I was granted visitation rights until my relocation from Coos Bay to Portland in August of that year.
I don’t know much about his life from that point except from phone call reports of trouble with the law extending from drug abuse issues. Charles and his two siblings came from a broken home, were raised by their grandfather and grandmother in Bandon and Rouge River Oregon.
In 1990, after hearing of my second marriage, Charles’ mother change his Sir name to Howard.
Epilogue: I could not acknowledge Charles as my son five years ago. The only picture I have of him is in a triple heart-shape frame along with his younger sisters sitting on my relationship altar in my bedroom.
Many Blessings.
Charles Jason was born on this date in 1982 at the University of Utah Hospital in Salt Lake City, UT. A fond memory of Charlie, the name I gave him while of toddler age, would go on excursions with me on errands around the city of his birth.
I lived with him for the first five yearsof his life until his mother and I were divorce in early 1988. I was granted visitation rights until my relocation from Coos Bay to Portland in August of that year.
I don’t know much about his life from that point except from phone call reports of trouble with the law extending from drug abuse issues. Charles and his two siblings came from a broken home, were raised by their grandfather and grandmother in Bandon and Rouge River Oregon.
In 1990, after hearing of my second marriage, Charles’ mother change his Sir name to Howard.
Epilogue: I could not acknowledge Charles as my son five years ago. The only picture I have of him is in a triple heart-shape frame along with his younger sisters sitting on my relationship altar in my bedroom.
Many Blessings.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
I Create Love Wherever I Go
The act of Breathing is the act of Love, itself.
~ Manasseh
What is this embodiment of love? I don’t understand it. My Guru has disappeared… Vanish into thin air. Taking a piece of my heart. When I dwell on it too much, it hurts.
Manasseh: “Get out of your head and into body. Closed your eyes and breathe slow and deeply.”
Some two thousand years ago, Yeshua walked the earth, teaching his followers the embodiment of love. He told them, “This and greater things ye shall do.” He wanted them to be Self-aware…Self-realization…self love.
Manasseh: “Know thy self and you shall love thy self.”
My Soul’s contract was to incarnate into a body to learn Love… Forgiveness… Compassion… Gratitude… Generosity… Wisdom… and Peace. As I progress on my journey hitting the four year mark, I’m wondering if I am to not only to embody Love… but to embody Forgiveness… embody Compassion… embody Gratitude… embody Generosity… embody Wisdom… and embody Peace.
Crashing a Friday night session of Mystical Activism, I wrote on a 3 x 5 card, I am a Mystic… I am a Sage… I am an Avatar… I am a Master. The Universe is accelerating my growth. A night I will never forget, where I sat in a circle of highly evolve student gurus. Incarnated beings as Aminga, Autumn, Blaine, Christine, Danielle, Gene, Lisa, Martie, Melt, Pamlea and Ra.
In the dim lit room, there was one who face’s glow with the light of Yeshua. I remembered feeling the love energy emanating from her heart as her smile warmly welcome me. At the same time, there was one with a destine look on their face as if to say, how dare you barge in and invade our space. I kept my attention upon the teacher of Christ-like love.
It is none of my business who ever wronged me… who dislikes me… who does not pays attention to me. I have loan thousands of dollars to people who have never pay me back. I let it go… it’s none of my business. Some people just don’t like me or want to hang out with me. There is nothing I can do about it. I just go on my way. There are people I have a high regard for and admire who look right through me as if I don’t even exist. They pay no regards to my presences. Should I be crying? I don’t think so.
I like myself the way I am. The divine self. I admire my higher self… The God-Self. The wisdom that exists inside of me. Big deal if I have the TV on for background noise while I compose my blog posts or download my music. I don’t care if people do not read my blog anymore. Mote It Be.
Many Blessings.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Commentary On Polygamy
Four hundred sixteen children could have a new lease on life this week all because one young teenager was brave enough to stand in her own authentic self and blow the whistle on her polygamist lifestyle. With the dramatic alteration in a way of life comes the state of fear, which is blindness to the road ahead. In their fear, they cannot understand their liberation from the male ego gone arrive.
This is what happens when the male ego goes uncheck. Men, who think they can play God, control and dominate their wives and children like cattle. These women and children are clueless to what freedom taste like… Smells like… Feels like… Or even looks like. The news media have portrait the expression on the faces as if they were zombies… Void of life and vitality. Is this what happens when you have been repeatedly rape by a man you were force into arrange marriage of sickness? Their spirits are either dead or barely on life-support while their bodies maintain survival mode.
After years of molestation, incest and endless years of abuse, this community just may see their first glimpses of the light at the end of the tunnel. I see the eventual end for this polygamist sect as mere facts the leader of the male ego is behind bars and their Texas compound raided. The Universe seeks balance in all things. We shell see more light penetrate the darkness as higher consciousness of love and light enters the world.
It is my hope and prayers for the women and children of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints will seek professional help and continue on to paths of enlightenment to heal their broken spirits. Out of the abyss of darkness they climb the path of difficulty.
Many Blessings to the women and children who have been hurt.
This is what happens when the male ego goes uncheck. Men, who think they can play God, control and dominate their wives and children like cattle. These women and children are clueless to what freedom taste like… Smells like… Feels like… Or even looks like. The news media have portrait the expression on the faces as if they were zombies… Void of life and vitality. Is this what happens when you have been repeatedly rape by a man you were force into arrange marriage of sickness? Their spirits are either dead or barely on life-support while their bodies maintain survival mode.
After years of molestation, incest and endless years of abuse, this community just may see their first glimpses of the light at the end of the tunnel. I see the eventual end for this polygamist sect as mere facts the leader of the male ego is behind bars and their Texas compound raided. The Universe seeks balance in all things. We shell see more light penetrate the darkness as higher consciousness of love and light enters the world.
It is my hope and prayers for the women and children of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints will seek professional help and continue on to paths of enlightenment to heal their broken spirits. Out of the abyss of darkness they climb the path of difficulty.
Many Blessings to the women and children who have been hurt.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Transmuting The Male Ego In Hood River
Today, I took a road trip to Bonneville Dam and Hood River with Jeff Smith. We stop in Troutdale to fuel up our bodies with a late breakfast. Jeff wanted to stop at the fish ladders and visitors center at Bonneville Dam. We watch as a five-foot long Chinook salmon struggle against the current to swim up stream. I thought about the male ego and its struggle against the flow of the Universe.
In Hood River, I stop to shop in a nice gift store. I found two lovely gifts for two beloved friends, but nothing for that special lady my heart is so fond of – oh uh. I darted into a next door restaurant to use the restroom while Jeff waited for me. When I came out, I bump into a friend from the Sacred Circle Dance community who recently moved to Hood River to clear his mind and to be surrounded by nature.
Even though Jeff was in a rush to be home by a certain time, he was patient enough while I visit with my friend. We talk about the male ego and the role it plays on our psyche and how it contaminates our hearts.
Manasseh: “Blog with tact and sensitivity.”
Peter: “Hello Manasseh. I am. I very much want to be sensitive.”
He reminds me of myself when I was young and in my ego mind. I would try to control or dominate the relationship. When that didn’t work, I would sabotage the relationship by throwing a fit and running away like a child. What I didn’t realize back in my youth is a Woman is like unto a butterfly. You have to hold your hand open and leave it open throughout the relationship. If she lands in your hand, you are bless by receiving her love. That doesn’t mean you can close up your hand and hold her captive. It is my belief and profound understanding she meant to be free to come and go as her heart so chooses.
I hope with all the tenderness and care, it will go both ways as in any relationship. And when she is ready to leave your hand, you will have the love and the compassion still holding out your hand as she fly’s away. Yes, there will be sadness in your heart. That is when you go inside and know God… Your true self. Breathe in Yeshua. Breathe out you God-self.
Manasseh: “Yes Peter. Exactly.
As we drove home, west bound on I – 84, the rain showers would come overhead and block out the sun. The rain clouds represents my male ego mind blocking out the true source of love. My mind race down the freeway along side the Columbia River screaming at me, “Dump this woman before she hurts you!”
No, I won’t! I will risk everything for one night of sacred intimacy. My heart is wild open ready to receive sacred love. Than I shell let her go like a butterfly. And she will be gone and I will again become acquainted with the pain of a broken heart. My heart will than be crack open only to be fill up with love of Yeshua.
Manasseh: “You are so bold to declare love on the Internet.”
Peter: “Yes, I am open and vulnerable. I don’t care who sees me in my nakedness. I love her… We all love her.”
Many Blessings.
In Hood River, I stop to shop in a nice gift store. I found two lovely gifts for two beloved friends, but nothing for that special lady my heart is so fond of – oh uh. I darted into a next door restaurant to use the restroom while Jeff waited for me. When I came out, I bump into a friend from the Sacred Circle Dance community who recently moved to Hood River to clear his mind and to be surrounded by nature.
Even though Jeff was in a rush to be home by a certain time, he was patient enough while I visit with my friend. We talk about the male ego and the role it plays on our psyche and how it contaminates our hearts.
Manasseh: “Blog with tact and sensitivity.”
Peter: “Hello Manasseh. I am. I very much want to be sensitive.”
He reminds me of myself when I was young and in my ego mind. I would try to control or dominate the relationship. When that didn’t work, I would sabotage the relationship by throwing a fit and running away like a child. What I didn’t realize back in my youth is a Woman is like unto a butterfly. You have to hold your hand open and leave it open throughout the relationship. If she lands in your hand, you are bless by receiving her love. That doesn’t mean you can close up your hand and hold her captive. It is my belief and profound understanding she meant to be free to come and go as her heart so chooses.
I hope with all the tenderness and care, it will go both ways as in any relationship. And when she is ready to leave your hand, you will have the love and the compassion still holding out your hand as she fly’s away. Yes, there will be sadness in your heart. That is when you go inside and know God… Your true self. Breathe in Yeshua. Breathe out you God-self.
Manasseh: “Yes Peter. Exactly.
As we drove home, west bound on I – 84, the rain showers would come overhead and block out the sun. The rain clouds represents my male ego mind blocking out the true source of love. My mind race down the freeway along side the Columbia River screaming at me, “Dump this woman before she hurts you!”
No, I won’t! I will risk everything for one night of sacred intimacy. My heart is wild open ready to receive sacred love. Than I shell let her go like a butterfly. And she will be gone and I will again become acquainted with the pain of a broken heart. My heart will than be crack open only to be fill up with love of Yeshua.
Manasseh: “You are so bold to declare love on the Internet.”
Peter: “Yes, I am open and vulnerable. I don’t care who sees me in my nakedness. I love her… We all love her.”
Many Blessings.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Calling Forth Love
My cohorts seem to be silent this week. It might be my turn to speak up in terms of holding the bloggedsphere open for my beloveds.
Reflecting back on the last four years since I started out on this journey with the first steps by leaving an intuition of dogma doctrine, which held me spellbound for a great portion of my life. As my evolvement commence, I notice my discontentment for the LDS Church has steadily diminish over time. Remembering at that point of turning my back and walking away from something that have cause suffering in my life… Feeling the feelings of anger and bitterness for wasted time and energy.
Setting out on my new path, hoping it will lead me to fulfillment… Something real and lasting. But first, learning to let go of the ego and being fully honest with myself. I was having new experiences and meeting healthy vibrant people. Within the last year, I connected with the Sacred Circle Dance community and I was attracted by the energy and vitality of certain females. I knew they wouldn’t be attracted to me. To let go of this pain, I would close my eyes and breathe in Yeshua, breathe out Manasseh. I can feel my own breath inside of me. The God inside of me have been in love with me for over fifty years.
A guess speaker at Celebration Church this past Sunday. Charlie Heavenrich, a river mystic from the Grand Canyon, made this profound statement: “The ego is only attached to things outside of ourselves, which are impermanent.” Charlie talk about how his heart was broken… Crack open only to be fill up with love.
Yes Beloveds, the game of love is a hard game to play. But it become easy when you know who loves you first.
Maybe I’m not looking for a Soulmate like I thought I was, but a lover. A long time friend who I met when I join the Mormon Church, Dan Hastings, was manifesting a Soulmate but ended up with a lover. He is enjoying himself in this new relationship. He doesn’t know how long it will last, at lease he’s living in the moment. What am I? Chopped liver? Am I good enough as Dan to manifest a love life? I placed my order with the Universe.
Many Blessings.
Reflecting back on the last four years since I started out on this journey with the first steps by leaving an intuition of dogma doctrine, which held me spellbound for a great portion of my life. As my evolvement commence, I notice my discontentment for the LDS Church has steadily diminish over time. Remembering at that point of turning my back and walking away from something that have cause suffering in my life… Feeling the feelings of anger and bitterness for wasted time and energy.
Setting out on my new path, hoping it will lead me to fulfillment… Something real and lasting. But first, learning to let go of the ego and being fully honest with myself. I was having new experiences and meeting healthy vibrant people. Within the last year, I connected with the Sacred Circle Dance community and I was attracted by the energy and vitality of certain females. I knew they wouldn’t be attracted to me. To let go of this pain, I would close my eyes and breathe in Yeshua, breathe out Manasseh. I can feel my own breath inside of me. The God inside of me have been in love with me for over fifty years.
A guess speaker at Celebration Church this past Sunday. Charlie Heavenrich, a river mystic from the Grand Canyon, made this profound statement: “The ego is only attached to things outside of ourselves, which are impermanent.” Charlie talk about how his heart was broken… Crack open only to be fill up with love.
Yes Beloveds, the game of love is a hard game to play. But it become easy when you know who loves you first.
Maybe I’m not looking for a Soulmate like I thought I was, but a lover. A long time friend who I met when I join the Mormon Church, Dan Hastings, was manifesting a Soulmate but ended up with a lover. He is enjoying himself in this new relationship. He doesn’t know how long it will last, at lease he’s living in the moment. What am I? Chopped liver? Am I good enough as Dan to manifest a love life? I placed my order with the Universe.
Many Blessings.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Is Celebration Church Ready For Anakha Coman?
For months now, I have this overwhelming desire for my Guru to come and speak at Celebration Church. I’ve been working hard this week to coordinate this.
In the process I found some resistances. There has been excuse after excuse not view her video web blog; i.e. we don’t have time to view her blogs. Can you send us a CD or a DVD of her speaking?
I have been working with Gene to put together selected video blogs of Anakha into a DVD package for Celebration Church to view. After watching all eleven video segments and trying to pick out which video to put on the DVD. It occurred to me may be they're not ready for the wildness of Anakha.
I E-mail Gene back: SHE IS SO AWSON!! My two favorite video are "Manifesting" the I Am that I Am and Embodying God -- Our Erotic Awakening. Wish we can post all 11 videos on one DVD, so they can get the whole range of Anakha's spiritual favors. In my opinion if they can't handle Anakha's erotic demeanor then they are not ready for Anakha at all. I wouldn’t want to change her so she can fit in to their mold. She is too authentic for that. Why cover up her true wildness just to speak at a church?
I question the fact why we have to make something better? Why do need to change something around just to fit someone else paradigm? I say if you don't like the package that it comes in, than don't buy it. The same goes for our own bodies -- if they're not broken, why fix it? Our culture is obsess with their body makeover, namely plastic surgery. Why do we have to have some better?
So Jimmy... Why did you remake your movie, The Moses Code? Didn't you like the first version?
I don't know if I want to hear Anakha speak at Celebration Church if I can't experience her in her full mystical eroticism. If you take that part away, you mind well take God away too.
Many Blessings.
In the process I found some resistances. There has been excuse after excuse not view her video web blog; i.e. we don’t have time to view her blogs. Can you send us a CD or a DVD of her speaking?
I have been working with Gene to put together selected video blogs of Anakha into a DVD package for Celebration Church to view. After watching all eleven video segments and trying to pick out which video to put on the DVD. It occurred to me may be they're not ready for the wildness of Anakha.
I E-mail Gene back: SHE IS SO AWSON!! My two favorite video are "Manifesting" the I Am that I Am and Embodying God -- Our Erotic Awakening. Wish we can post all 11 videos on one DVD, so they can get the whole range of Anakha's spiritual favors. In my opinion if they can't handle Anakha's erotic demeanor then they are not ready for Anakha at all. I wouldn’t want to change her so she can fit in to their mold. She is too authentic for that. Why cover up her true wildness just to speak at a church?
I question the fact why we have to make something better? Why do need to change something around just to fit someone else paradigm? I say if you don't like the package that it comes in, than don't buy it. The same goes for our own bodies -- if they're not broken, why fix it? Our culture is obsess with their body makeover, namely plastic surgery. Why do we have to have some better?
So Jimmy... Why did you remake your movie, The Moses Code? Didn't you like the first version?
I don't know if I want to hear Anakha speak at Celebration Church if I can't experience her in her full mystical eroticism. If you take that part away, you mind well take God away too.
Many Blessings.
Manifesting God -- Manifesting Love
Lets start back at the beginning… I was raised as an atheist. My father told me God does not exist. My childhood friend did believe in the existence of God, as did the greater portion of the world’s population. I became a seeker. I seek God outside of myself… something to believe in.
You know my story… my journey from previous posts from this blog. There is not the need to rehearse the story of my journey.
Something to believe in… I believe in that something called Love. I response to love. Before I entered into relationship… my marriages, I remembered punishing myself because I was not good enough. I manifested abuse and unkindness in my two relationships with those two woman. I remembered shutting down and saying to myself, ‘I only response to love.’
I am that, I am! I am that, (pause) I am! I am love, I am! I manifested three divine Gurus who embody love. I believe in Anakha, Gene and David. The greatest lovers I ever met. The Big Bang in my heart. I have found God. My seeking has ended.
I love you Manasseh! I love you Anakha! I love you Gene! I love you David! I am one with God! I am one with you!
Happy Birthday My Beloved Anakha. I love you! – Many Blessings.
You know my story… my journey from previous posts from this blog. There is not the need to rehearse the story of my journey.
Something to believe in… I believe in that something called Love. I response to love. Before I entered into relationship… my marriages, I remembered punishing myself because I was not good enough. I manifested abuse and unkindness in my two relationships with those two woman. I remembered shutting down and saying to myself, ‘I only response to love.’
I am that, I am! I am that, (pause) I am! I am love, I am! I manifested three divine Gurus who embody love. I believe in Anakha, Gene and David. The greatest lovers I ever met. The Big Bang in my heart. I have found God. My seeking has ended.
I love you Manasseh! I love you Anakha! I love you Gene! I love you David! I am one with God! I am one with you!
Happy Birthday My Beloved Anakha. I love you! – Many Blessings.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Forty Years Ago
Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated on a Memphis hotel balcony. A woman in Portland, Oregon name Karen Coman was nine months pregnant was about delivered a healthy baby girl any day. Me… I was ten years old and in the third grade.
One peacemaker leaves the planet and a few days later another peacemaker arrives on the planet. WOW!
One peacemaker leaves the planet and a few days later another peacemaker arrives on the planet. WOW!
Friday, March 28, 2008
Penetrating The Sacred
A guy like me with my condition can easily stay home and sit in front of the boo tube for the rest of his life. Not me. I refuse to sit at home waiting for someone to take me somewhere or waiting for something to happen. Forget it! I’ll do it myself.
Somewhere within the city of Portland exist a subculture of loving individuals who strive to enliven their sacred community. Artists, musicians, healers and people left over from the hippie generation come from miles around to make community for ninety minutes on a Sunday morning. This sacred community is invisible to the untrained mind driving down I – 5 looking for that which will jumpstart his/her soul into motion that will lead to the ocean of love.
I will get on the bus in the Tualatin/Bridgeport area to go to Portland to attend my workshops… Puja(s)… Kirtan(s)… Sacred Circle Dance or whatever my heart is call to go. Somehow, after the event is over, the Universe sees me safely home.
As more people awaken in their Self Realization, where love is only game in town, the demand for sacred events will increase. Portland is poise to become the next Sedona. New Thought Churches… Spiritual Communities will keep growing. The Sacred Circle Dance community will burst its seams.
Tonight, I will penetrate the sacred. Love and Blessings.
Somewhere within the city of Portland exist a subculture of loving individuals who strive to enliven their sacred community. Artists, musicians, healers and people left over from the hippie generation come from miles around to make community for ninety minutes on a Sunday morning. This sacred community is invisible to the untrained mind driving down I – 5 looking for that which will jumpstart his/her soul into motion that will lead to the ocean of love.
I will get on the bus in the Tualatin/Bridgeport area to go to Portland to attend my workshops… Puja(s)… Kirtan(s)… Sacred Circle Dance or whatever my heart is call to go. Somehow, after the event is over, the Universe sees me safely home.
As more people awaken in their Self Realization, where love is only game in town, the demand for sacred events will increase. Portland is poise to become the next Sedona. New Thought Churches… Spiritual Communities will keep growing. The Sacred Circle Dance community will burst its seams.
Tonight, I will penetrate the sacred. Love and Blessings.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Love Be Not Afraid
Are you afraid to love me?
Are you afraid to touch me?
Are you afraid to caress me?
Are you afraid to hold me?
Are you afraid to know me?
Are you afraid to dance with me?
Are you afraid I cannot offer you love?
When you look at me, what do you see?
Or are you afraid of your own inability to show up? I show up all the time. Why can’t you show up for me?
I once dated a woman for one week whom I was very much in love with. She told me she loved me. She wanted to hang out with me for while and see how she can deal with the CP. She said she was mad at God for giving me a physical handicap.
I was in my ego and my insecurity sabotage the relationship. I drove her away from me in less than a week. The question is when others people break our hearts, do we do it to ourselves? I told Anakha last week as we drove in to McMinnville where another former girlfriend live, broke my heart. She did not break my heart. I did it to myself.
You might ask how did I break my own heart? When we are in our ego and our insecurities take over, we allow fear, not love, to rule our hearts. The flame of love is thus smother and no one can breathe. The relationship is deprive of oxygen and light. Love between two people, the relationship, is like unto a plant, needs oxygen and light in order to grow. The next relationship I entered into will be open and allow to breathe love and life.
There are already feelings stirrings in my heart for a woman. How do I know? She appears in my unconscious dreams night after night cradling each of her beloveds, healing them of their distorted pain. She has many beloveds that are intoxicated by her because of who she is: Genuine: Authentic: The full embodiment of love: The embodiment of the Christ consciousness.
And to think I almost threw it away one day. I thought I was not good enough for the Christic to fill my being with pure love. Love that’s heals the distorted pain. I made a passing comment to the oracle of love embody, “I’m not your type.” I lied. I am your type. I am everyones type. When will I stop sabotaging love?
I am ready for love to show up. No matter what form love shows up as, I will not sabotage it. I will not be afraid of it.
Love and Blessings.
Are you afraid to touch me?
Are you afraid to caress me?
Are you afraid to hold me?
Are you afraid to know me?
Are you afraid to dance with me?
Are you afraid I cannot offer you love?
When you look at me, what do you see?
Or are you afraid of your own inability to show up? I show up all the time. Why can’t you show up for me?
I once dated a woman for one week whom I was very much in love with. She told me she loved me. She wanted to hang out with me for while and see how she can deal with the CP. She said she was mad at God for giving me a physical handicap.
I was in my ego and my insecurity sabotage the relationship. I drove her away from me in less than a week. The question is when others people break our hearts, do we do it to ourselves? I told Anakha last week as we drove in to McMinnville where another former girlfriend live, broke my heart. She did not break my heart. I did it to myself.
You might ask how did I break my own heart? When we are in our ego and our insecurities take over, we allow fear, not love, to rule our hearts. The flame of love is thus smother and no one can breathe. The relationship is deprive of oxygen and light. Love between two people, the relationship, is like unto a plant, needs oxygen and light in order to grow. The next relationship I entered into will be open and allow to breathe love and life.
There are already feelings stirrings in my heart for a woman. How do I know? She appears in my unconscious dreams night after night cradling each of her beloveds, healing them of their distorted pain. She has many beloveds that are intoxicated by her because of who she is: Genuine: Authentic: The full embodiment of love: The embodiment of the Christ consciousness.
And to think I almost threw it away one day. I thought I was not good enough for the Christic to fill my being with pure love. Love that’s heals the distorted pain. I made a passing comment to the oracle of love embody, “I’m not your type.” I lied. I am your type. I am everyones type. When will I stop sabotaging love?
I am ready for love to show up. No matter what form love shows up as, I will not sabotage it. I will not be afraid of it.
Love and Blessings.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
The Five Layers Of Love
How close can I get to God? Wait… I am God!
Growing up with a boyhood friend/neighbor whom was raise Catholic was my first exposure to religion. Lets call this layer number one. Larry told me the Nuns hit your hands with a stick when you’re not good. Ouch!
Layer number two came in Junior High School known as Young Life… Born-Again Christianity. I guess it was cool to be a part of prayer meetings and Bible study on the school campus. But, was I fulfilled?
I dove head long into a thirty year Mormon journey with layer number three. Would I find myself? Would I find what I truly long for?
The surprising shift to layer number four must be New Thought. I thought I was going to be a Mormon forever. Some time ago I blog I wanted a new drug. That new drug has been inside of me since the day I was born. Why live in fear when you can live in love?
Layer number five? What do you call it, Anakha? Love Embodiment. It’s all about how you treat yourself. Everything about your being is the Universe. When Yeshua walked the Earth, he taught his followers the practice of Ahimsa... nonviolence to self and others... The true nature of the sacred heart.
I was born with it. There is no need to look for it. I already have it. I am radiant love. I embody love. I am the Guru for me. Anakha is a Guru. Gene is a Guru. David is a Guru. Anakha, Gene and David live in layer number five… Love Embodiment. Every where they go... every face they see, is the face of God.
Light attracts light. I’m in love with Anakha. I’m in love with Gene. I’m in love with David. I’m in love with myself. Love Embodiment.
Love and Blessings.
P.S. Yeshua reminds me to honor and remember my past. Yeshua: "It is how you came to this state of being."
Growing up with a boyhood friend/neighbor whom was raise Catholic was my first exposure to religion. Lets call this layer number one. Larry told me the Nuns hit your hands with a stick when you’re not good. Ouch!
Layer number two came in Junior High School known as Young Life… Born-Again Christianity. I guess it was cool to be a part of prayer meetings and Bible study on the school campus. But, was I fulfilled?
I dove head long into a thirty year Mormon journey with layer number three. Would I find myself? Would I find what I truly long for?
The surprising shift to layer number four must be New Thought. I thought I was going to be a Mormon forever. Some time ago I blog I wanted a new drug. That new drug has been inside of me since the day I was born. Why live in fear when you can live in love?
Layer number five? What do you call it, Anakha? Love Embodiment. It’s all about how you treat yourself. Everything about your being is the Universe. When Yeshua walked the Earth, he taught his followers the practice of Ahimsa... nonviolence to self and others... The true nature of the sacred heart.
I was born with it. There is no need to look for it. I already have it. I am radiant love. I embody love. I am the Guru for me. Anakha is a Guru. Gene is a Guru. David is a Guru. Anakha, Gene and David live in layer number five… Love Embodiment. Every where they go... every face they see, is the face of God.
Light attracts light. I’m in love with Anakha. I’m in love with Gene. I’m in love with David. I’m in love with myself. Love Embodiment.
Love and Blessings.
P.S. Yeshua reminds me to honor and remember my past. Yeshua: "It is how you came to this state of being."
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Journey Night
Last Monday night, I attended a Shamanic Journey night at the Yurt in the Garden Home district. Spirit took me on a healing journey. As the drums begin to beat, I closed my eye and my mind is wisp away deep inside the Great Mother. Way down to the core of her belly.
She longs to take him in her arms and heal him from his distorted pain. The fire in the core of her belly as the passion burns hot for her beloved. She takes him gently in her arms and begins to tenderly caress his naked torso. He closes his eyes and softly moans. She whispers into his ear his true nature. She pulls him tightly against her bare chest and begins gently rock him like a newborn. He smells the scent of her hair which have fallen on his face.
It's a beautiful moment as they struggle to stay present in the moment. He can feel her energy moving down through her body into his own. He now stands tell, erect and completely healed from his distorted view of the world. This scene is repeated over and over again as the drums calls me back into physical body.
The second vision burst opened with the Heavens weeping for her. The entire heavens... every star, planet and moon cries out for her. The Sun longed for her. The stars weep for her. At one time, Mother Earth and Father Sky were joined in sacred union. Now separated since the big bang, they longed to hold each other in that eternal sacred embrace.
Every time a conscious being… you... me... God, goes to the sea and looks out upon the horizon, they would see Gaia joined with her beloved in sacred intimacy.
She longs to take him in her arms and heal him from his distorted pain. The fire in the core of her belly as the passion burns hot for her beloved. She takes him gently in her arms and begins to tenderly caress his naked torso. He closes his eyes and softly moans. She whispers into his ear his true nature. She pulls him tightly against her bare chest and begins gently rock him like a newborn. He smells the scent of her hair which have fallen on his face.
It's a beautiful moment as they struggle to stay present in the moment. He can feel her energy moving down through her body into his own. He now stands tell, erect and completely healed from his distorted view of the world. This scene is repeated over and over again as the drums calls me back into physical body.
The second vision burst opened with the Heavens weeping for her. The entire heavens... every star, planet and moon cries out for her. The Sun longed for her. The stars weep for her. At one time, Mother Earth and Father Sky were joined in sacred union. Now separated since the big bang, they longed to hold each other in that eternal sacred embrace.
Every time a conscious being… you... me... God, goes to the sea and looks out upon the horizon, they would see Gaia joined with her beloved in sacred intimacy.
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Sunday, February 24, 2008
It's Okay To Be Vulnerable
The thoughts in my head this morning as I wakeup was what a blessing it was to be alive in this body. Something told me how eager I was to race to the end of the line in the afterlife waiting to be incardinated in another physical body. The ultimate desire to touch… to caress… to hold… to make love to God with a beating heart within her chest fill with mad passionate desire.
In order to attract such of God, my own heart must be already fill with the inner light of divine radiance. Only I can make changes or fill up my heart. If its depleted… lonely… heartbroken, so what! Why not sit with it? Maybe, just maybe God is in the heartbreak.
I’m listening to an audio book which is a popular read right now, Eat, Pray, Love. A story of a woman who dumps everything including her husband and goes on a yearlong odyssey in search of meaning to fill up her heart after many years of being empty. Though the author doesn’t advocate this advise to every woman with an depleted heart without first a lot of soul-searching leading to regret in the aftermath. It was her choice… her rout to enlightenment.
I wonder how cliché it is for religious or some spiritual people to relay on their God when their lives are so mess up and falling down before them? People claim to have their God when at the same time their hearts were empty. This was the case with yours truly. I can resonate with the message of my current spiritual teacher, like me, for many years she live a lie. The lives we lived were in a state of hypocrisy that we create our own messes.
If we’re willing, like a garment, the Universe take our souls and turns them inside out and hangs them to air out. Now, our hearts are on the outside and vulnerable for all to view. The hypocrisy, like dirt, falls to the ground. God can now ware the garment.
Love and Blessings.
In order to attract such of God, my own heart must be already fill with the inner light of divine radiance. Only I can make changes or fill up my heart. If its depleted… lonely… heartbroken, so what! Why not sit with it? Maybe, just maybe God is in the heartbreak.
I’m listening to an audio book which is a popular read right now, Eat, Pray, Love. A story of a woman who dumps everything including her husband and goes on a yearlong odyssey in search of meaning to fill up her heart after many years of being empty. Though the author doesn’t advocate this advise to every woman with an depleted heart without first a lot of soul-searching leading to regret in the aftermath. It was her choice… her rout to enlightenment.
I wonder how cliché it is for religious or some spiritual people to relay on their God when their lives are so mess up and falling down before them? People claim to have their God when at the same time their hearts were empty. This was the case with yours truly. I can resonate with the message of my current spiritual teacher, like me, for many years she live a lie. The lives we lived were in a state of hypocrisy that we create our own messes.
If we’re willing, like a garment, the Universe take our souls and turns them inside out and hangs them to air out. Now, our hearts are on the outside and vulnerable for all to view. The hypocrisy, like dirt, falls to the ground. God can now ware the garment.
Love and Blessings.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
A Cry For Help From My Soul
My heart and soul feels depleted this morning. My inner voice told me I needed to be at Koru House at 11: 00 am.
Why? What about work?
Fuck Work! You have enough money to pay the rent. Please take care of your of heart and soul today. If you don’t, you’ll paid for it later. You will need to take $200.00 from the Angel Box and your green necklace with you for the day. Please listen to your soul.
Why so much money?
$150.00 for Anakha and Gene. $25.00 for lunch. And $25.00 for the party tonight.
What party?
You’ve forgotten about the Erotic Ball.
But, I don’t have a costume to wear for the ball.
You and your bull shit excuse. The Universe will provide. Now post and sent it out there.
Now?
Now, wise guy!
Why? What about work?
Fuck Work! You have enough money to pay the rent. Please take care of your of heart and soul today. If you don’t, you’ll paid for it later. You will need to take $200.00 from the Angel Box and your green necklace with you for the day. Please listen to your soul.
Why so much money?
$150.00 for Anakha and Gene. $25.00 for lunch. And $25.00 for the party tonight.
What party?
You’ve forgotten about the Erotic Ball.
But, I don’t have a costume to wear for the ball.
You and your bull shit excuse. The Universe will provide. Now post and sent it out there.
Now?
Now, wise guy!
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
The Everlasting Kiss
My one and only day off from work I find myself watching a movie on HBO called, “The Last Kiss.” It is the story of a young engaged couple that is caught up in their own self-absorb ego. They both desperately seeking away around the heartache and the unforgiveness they both experience from their indiscretion as well as their unfaithfulness.
In my highly evolve state of consciousness, it is permissible to have more than one lover. I say let love be love. God loving God. Enough of this God killing God business! We got to reverse this trend. We got to get over our self-absorb pettiness and allow the free flow of love go where it wants to goes. We must allow this free flow expression of love be or we are doom as a species.
My teacher is capable of loving more than one lover. I am open to a future lover who wants to explore my body and than wants to return to a former lover or find a new lover. That being said, you would think I have lost my mind. Good! I’m in good company.
The forthcoming DVD documentary, “We Are The Lovers” will further demonstrate this lesson. If you cannot wait for “We Are The Lovers” set for release later this year, you can click on Divine Masculine Blog or NakedHeart Blogin the right panel and scroll down to the YouTude video clip. There you can view a sample of what you may find in the DVD documentary.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful to get past the last kiss and enjoy that ever-last-ing kiss?
Love and Blessings.
In my highly evolve state of consciousness, it is permissible to have more than one lover. I say let love be love. God loving God. Enough of this God killing God business! We got to reverse this trend. We got to get over our self-absorb pettiness and allow the free flow of love go where it wants to goes. We must allow this free flow expression of love be or we are doom as a species.
My teacher is capable of loving more than one lover. I am open to a future lover who wants to explore my body and than wants to return to a former lover or find a new lover. That being said, you would think I have lost my mind. Good! I’m in good company.
The forthcoming DVD documentary, “We Are The Lovers” will further demonstrate this lesson. If you cannot wait for “We Are The Lovers” set for release later this year, you can click on Divine Masculine Blog or NakedHeart Blogin the right panel and scroll down to the YouTude video clip. There you can view a sample of what you may find in the DVD documentary.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful to get past the last kiss and enjoy that ever-last-ing kiss?
Love and Blessings.
Erotic Dreams At Koru House
Saturday night was a wild night for me. I entered my next stage of my consciousness evolution. I attended a Spicy Valentine Video party at Sharon and Art’s home called Koru House. I was one of the ninety attendee’s who dine on scrumptious vegetarian finger food and view three-minute clips of favorite spicy love scenes. It seems as the night wore on, the night got a little hotter.
The party broke up around mid-night. With no ride home, I was offered the downstairs futon to crash on. I made my way downstairs to get ready for bed. I went to use the bathroom for one last time for the night. I heard voices coming from the outside patio. I followed the voices through the dressing room, out the side door, up the steps, around the corner to the patio. Three party attendees were soaking the hot tub. They invited me to join them.
I return to the dressing room to retrieve a towel. My unconscious mind and my primal heart took over. I tore off my clothes and rapped the towel around my body and went out the door into the cold dark night. I could not believe how fast I was back at the hot tub. The beautiful strangers helped me get into the steaming bubbly water. It took a couple of minutes for my body to relax and get adjusted to the 102-degree water. I have been waiting for three and a half years to rip my conservative behavior from my consciousness.
Two more beautiful bodies join us in the Koru hot tub. With a total of six magnificent bodies to witness, I felt so grateful to be alive and incardinated with my beautiful body. After thirty-five in the hot tub, I decided it was time to get out. Two people helped out and over the side. They rip my towel around me and walked me to the dressing room. I placed my clothes on my magnificent body and went to bed.
During the night, I’ve dream of a beautiful woman with big piercing green eyes, coming to me inquiring what made me tick. She inquired how a highly conscious evolve man become trapped in a body with cerebral palsy? She desired to touch me, to hold me tightly to her sensual body.
The morning came… The warm sun was out. My beloved Gene, who lives at Koru House, made me a delicious breakfast of eggs sunny-side-up and toast. We hung out together before going to dance. I had a crump in my left calf from the cold night air after retrieving from the hot tub. Gene massaged it trying to loosen it. I finally walked it off on the sidewalk in front of Anakha’s house. Gene was chasing Jack with his play toy in his mouth. We were running behind schedule because Jack wanted to play in the warm sun.
As Anakha was helping me out of the back seat of Gene’s car she slip on some grabble and fell on the sidewalk in front of the Village Ballroom. I felt bad for her and try to help her to her feet. Once inside, I did some reiki on her slightly bruised elbow. The music began and wanted to get out on the dance floor. Gene finally joins us on the floor after parking the car three blocks away. I saw many familiar faces that I did not know by name. Fifteen minutes of music went by before I made eye contact.
I was entranced by the sensually beautiful woman with big piercing green eyes. Oh My God! My mind started to freak. Was this the woman from my erotic dream? I remember my ego and maintain my composer. I was lock in a eye contact embrace and did not want let go. I enjoy our little C.I. session. No name… No phone number. Can someone help me out? Hint, Hint.
Ten minutes later, I held my Beloveds in the divine embrace and cried in gratitude for their love for me. And one last groundbreaking experience for me is traveling down Interstate Five pantsless. You want to explain? Gene was taking me to work. We were running late as usual. To save time I decided to change from my dance clothes into my street clothes. We were driving south bound on I – 5 while I was changing my pants. I thought of a Blog Title: Pantsless On I-5.
I was drained by the end of the day but happy. Love and Blessings.
The party broke up around mid-night. With no ride home, I was offered the downstairs futon to crash on. I made my way downstairs to get ready for bed. I went to use the bathroom for one last time for the night. I heard voices coming from the outside patio. I followed the voices through the dressing room, out the side door, up the steps, around the corner to the patio. Three party attendees were soaking the hot tub. They invited me to join them.
I return to the dressing room to retrieve a towel. My unconscious mind and my primal heart took over. I tore off my clothes and rapped the towel around my body and went out the door into the cold dark night. I could not believe how fast I was back at the hot tub. The beautiful strangers helped me get into the steaming bubbly water. It took a couple of minutes for my body to relax and get adjusted to the 102-degree water. I have been waiting for three and a half years to rip my conservative behavior from my consciousness.
Two more beautiful bodies join us in the Koru hot tub. With a total of six magnificent bodies to witness, I felt so grateful to be alive and incardinated with my beautiful body. After thirty-five in the hot tub, I decided it was time to get out. Two people helped out and over the side. They rip my towel around me and walked me to the dressing room. I placed my clothes on my magnificent body and went to bed.
During the night, I’ve dream of a beautiful woman with big piercing green eyes, coming to me inquiring what made me tick. She inquired how a highly conscious evolve man become trapped in a body with cerebral palsy? She desired to touch me, to hold me tightly to her sensual body.
The morning came… The warm sun was out. My beloved Gene, who lives at Koru House, made me a delicious breakfast of eggs sunny-side-up and toast. We hung out together before going to dance. I had a crump in my left calf from the cold night air after retrieving from the hot tub. Gene massaged it trying to loosen it. I finally walked it off on the sidewalk in front of Anakha’s house. Gene was chasing Jack with his play toy in his mouth. We were running behind schedule because Jack wanted to play in the warm sun.
As Anakha was helping me out of the back seat of Gene’s car she slip on some grabble and fell on the sidewalk in front of the Village Ballroom. I felt bad for her and try to help her to her feet. Once inside, I did some reiki on her slightly bruised elbow. The music began and wanted to get out on the dance floor. Gene finally joins us on the floor after parking the car three blocks away. I saw many familiar faces that I did not know by name. Fifteen minutes of music went by before I made eye contact.
I was entranced by the sensually beautiful woman with big piercing green eyes. Oh My God! My mind started to freak. Was this the woman from my erotic dream? I remember my ego and maintain my composer. I was lock in a eye contact embrace and did not want let go. I enjoy our little C.I. session. No name… No phone number. Can someone help me out? Hint, Hint.
Ten minutes later, I held my Beloveds in the divine embrace and cried in gratitude for their love for me. And one last groundbreaking experience for me is traveling down Interstate Five pantsless. You want to explain? Gene was taking me to work. We were running late as usual. To save time I decided to change from my dance clothes into my street clothes. We were driving south bound on I – 5 while I was changing my pants. I thought of a Blog Title: Pantsless On I-5.
I was drained by the end of the day but happy. Love and Blessings.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Erotic Remembrances
This post is for my beloveds… Anakha, David and Gene. I awoke from an erotic remembrances dream, so I decided to get up and blog about it. Six Mormon women turned me on.
May 1979: The very first erotic experience… Jolene and I were sitting on her couch, kissing… making out. I don’t think she was wearing a bra. I can remember feeling her breasts against my body.
October 1980: Sherri removes the top portion of her dress, exposing her breasts. I remembered replacing her clothing, kissing her, holding her tightly to my body. Another erotic moment with Sherri came in February 1981: she have moved out of her grandparent’s home into a studio apartment off of 71st & SE Division. We were alone and she started undressing me. She took off her clothes and we made love on the bare floor. I remember riding the bus down Division Street towards home and being high from the euphoria.
Ginger never made me hot in her presences, in November 1988; she called me one night to tell me she couldn’t come over because she was horny for my body. Shit!
March 1989: I was attending a LDS Church singles dance in Seattle. I dance with a beautiful woman named Diana, who was wearing a tight fitting dress, which would reveal every sensual curve of her body as she moved across the dance floor. I was so turned on.
May 1990: I remember greeting my girlfriend, Pam at the front door of her Canby home. She was wearing these parachute pants. As I was greeting her, I was bending over backwards, kissing her. I was hornier than hell.
This segment of the blog is a love story. This is the way I want to be held by my beloved. Periodically 1992 – 2003: Every time I dance with Kay, she would hold me tightly to her body. She would look into my eyes as if she was going to kiss me. I never did get a chance to taste those sweet lips of her. She never did take the chance to kiss me because of fear.
My last erotic encounter was Sunday, February 3rd: where I embraced Anakha, like Kay, tightly to my body. I held in a full embrace my beloveds, David, Gene and Anakha. As I held them against my body, listen to their moaning and felt the sweet sweat from their bodies.
Love and Blessings.
P.S. The only regret I have is the guilt that was associated with these divine erotic experiences that were for my devolvement.
May 1979: The very first erotic experience… Jolene and I were sitting on her couch, kissing… making out. I don’t think she was wearing a bra. I can remember feeling her breasts against my body.
October 1980: Sherri removes the top portion of her dress, exposing her breasts. I remembered replacing her clothing, kissing her, holding her tightly to my body. Another erotic moment with Sherri came in February 1981: she have moved out of her grandparent’s home into a studio apartment off of 71st & SE Division. We were alone and she started undressing me. She took off her clothes and we made love on the bare floor. I remember riding the bus down Division Street towards home and being high from the euphoria.
Ginger never made me hot in her presences, in November 1988; she called me one night to tell me she couldn’t come over because she was horny for my body. Shit!
March 1989: I was attending a LDS Church singles dance in Seattle. I dance with a beautiful woman named Diana, who was wearing a tight fitting dress, which would reveal every sensual curve of her body as she moved across the dance floor. I was so turned on.
May 1990: I remember greeting my girlfriend, Pam at the front door of her Canby home. She was wearing these parachute pants. As I was greeting her, I was bending over backwards, kissing her. I was hornier than hell.
This segment of the blog is a love story. This is the way I want to be held by my beloved. Periodically 1992 – 2003: Every time I dance with Kay, she would hold me tightly to her body. She would look into my eyes as if she was going to kiss me. I never did get a chance to taste those sweet lips of her. She never did take the chance to kiss me because of fear.
My last erotic encounter was Sunday, February 3rd: where I embraced Anakha, like Kay, tightly to my body. I held in a full embrace my beloveds, David, Gene and Anakha. As I held them against my body, listen to their moaning and felt the sweet sweat from their bodies.
Love and Blessings.
P.S. The only regret I have is the guilt that was associated with these divine erotic experiences that were for my devolvement.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Loyalty Waits For Love
I spent the majority of my day in a waiting room at Tuality Community Hospital in Hillsboro. My loyalties lie with a close-nit friend who was there for me when I had my knee surgery eighteen month ago. Jeffrey Smith was scheduled for a total hip replacement surgery at One O’clock pm.
Jeffrey was lucky only to be bump back ninety minutes and entering the O.R. around 2:30 pm. I was not as fortunate as Jeffrey was. My schedule surgery time kept getting push back due to unforeseen emergency surgeries. Jeffrey stuck with me while waiting along with my folks in my hospital room. When the folks hit the state of boredom, they exit the room to parts unknown. Not Jeffrey. For over 24 hours, he stays by my bedside.
What is wrong with this boy? Maybe he enjoyed the beautiful view from the eighth floor window overlooking the tree-cover West Hills. Does this man ever get bored I though?
In an effort to demonstrate my loyalty to Jeffrey, I waited until he was out of surgery. His mother finally sent me home at 6:30 tonight. As I was getting ready to leave the hospital waiting room, the doctor came by to make his report to the family members. I will keep you updated on Jeffrey recovery in the following weeks.
I’ll answer the question is Jeffrey one of the lovers.
Love and Blessings.
Jeffrey was lucky only to be bump back ninety minutes and entering the O.R. around 2:30 pm. I was not as fortunate as Jeffrey was. My schedule surgery time kept getting push back due to unforeseen emergency surgeries. Jeffrey stuck with me while waiting along with my folks in my hospital room. When the folks hit the state of boredom, they exit the room to parts unknown. Not Jeffrey. For over 24 hours, he stays by my bedside.
What is wrong with this boy? Maybe he enjoyed the beautiful view from the eighth floor window overlooking the tree-cover West Hills. Does this man ever get bored I though?
In an effort to demonstrate my loyalty to Jeffrey, I waited until he was out of surgery. His mother finally sent me home at 6:30 tonight. As I was getting ready to leave the hospital waiting room, the doctor came by to make his report to the family members. I will keep you updated on Jeffrey recovery in the following weeks.
I’ll answer the question is Jeffrey one of the lovers.
Love and Blessings.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Poetry For The Mind
At the end of dance today, I wrote these in the sacred book...
We are the seeds...
We are the trees...
We are the planets...
We are the stars in the cosmic Universe
fulfilling the measure of our creation.
We are the seeds...
We are the trees...
We are the planets...
We are the stars in the cosmic Universe
fulfilling the measure of our creation.
Friday, February 1, 2008
My Green Necklace
I got my green necklace back from the repair shop today. I wanted to put it on right away. Yeshua told me to wait until the next ritual ceremony where a High Priestess can put it for you. Okay… February 14th is Anakha’s next ritual. I can wait until than.
As Jeffrey and I were driving down northeast Broadway, another voice within my head asked, “Have you paid off all your debts yet?” No, I thought to myself. “You shouldn’t ware it until you have done so.” The voice came again.
Is this voice different from Yeshua’s voice? Is this the same voice that almost drove me insane when I a practicing Mormon? This voice sounds like the critical voice from within. I want to ware my green necklace as soon as possible. How am I going to pay off fourteen hundred dollar by February 14th?
That green necklace means a great deal to me… it gives me confidence as a lightworker and a healer. The necklace contains healing as well as psychic properties. I follow my heart in picking out the necklace. Yeshua wanted me to try it on and ware it when I first found it at Healing Waters & Sacred Spaces in NE Portland. I had to place it on laid away for three months while paying for it.
I felt naked when the thread broke and fell off my neck when I was at Sacred Circle Dance. I was almost devastated when I found it on floor of the bathroom as I was getting dress after dance. But, I kept my cool as Gene drove me across town to take it in for repair. I compare it to being naked without Mormon Garments. Yes, I once wore those. I don’t miss them.
Love and Blessings.
As Jeffrey and I were driving down northeast Broadway, another voice within my head asked, “Have you paid off all your debts yet?” No, I thought to myself. “You shouldn’t ware it until you have done so.” The voice came again.
Is this voice different from Yeshua’s voice? Is this the same voice that almost drove me insane when I a practicing Mormon? This voice sounds like the critical voice from within. I want to ware my green necklace as soon as possible. How am I going to pay off fourteen hundred dollar by February 14th?
That green necklace means a great deal to me… it gives me confidence as a lightworker and a healer. The necklace contains healing as well as psychic properties. I follow my heart in picking out the necklace. Yeshua wanted me to try it on and ware it when I first found it at Healing Waters & Sacred Spaces in NE Portland. I had to place it on laid away for three months while paying for it.
I felt naked when the thread broke and fell off my neck when I was at Sacred Circle Dance. I was almost devastated when I found it on floor of the bathroom as I was getting dress after dance. But, I kept my cool as Gene drove me across town to take it in for repair. I compare it to being naked without Mormon Garments. Yes, I once wore those. I don’t miss them.
Love and Blessings.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
What Happens Next?
Mercury goes into retrograde late tonight. (January 27th)
KPTV 10 O’clock news broke the story around 10:30 tonight. I quickly went to the LDS Church website… President Gordon B. Hinckley, who led The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints through twelve years of global expansion, has died at the age of 97. The Church president died at his apartment in downtown Salt Lake City at 7:00 p.m. Sunday night from causes incident to age. Members of his family were at his bedside.
KPTV 10 O’clock news broke the story around 10:30 tonight. I quickly went to the LDS Church website… President Gordon B. Hinckley, who led The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints through twelve years of global expansion, has died at the age of 97. The Church president died at his apartment in downtown Salt Lake City at 7:00 p.m. Sunday night from causes incident to age. Members of his family were at his bedside.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Am I My Brothers' Keeper?
According to Anakha’s post, “Radical Responsibility” I know nothing of what love really is. I have failed my own children. My parents claim I do not have any responsibility for my children lives. In my view, Anakha Coman is a woman prophet… My Minister. She is the mouthpiece for God…My Beloved Yeshua. I have failed my children! I have failed my children!
Did the LDS Church fail me when they didn’t come looking for me when I stopped going to church? I think not so… I gave them the cold shoulder every time they held out their hand to me. Local church members quickly grew tired of me rejecting their offers. After two years of reaching out to me, they gave up and left me alone. Would Yeshua given up on me and left me alone? Anakha understands the parable of the lost sheep. Jeffrey Smith understands the parable of the lost sheep.
Who is this Jeffrey Smith? Jeffrey is the lone member of the LDS Church who stuck by me when I stray from the church. Consider as one of the least of these by the world, a man without guile, disable from birth makes his way in the world without complaint. We’re two peas in a pod, easy-going with healthy appetites… we dine out twice a week. A love for smooth jazzy/new age music… Michael Allen Harrison fans. Yea, we hangout together… why he wants to hang with me… a jack Mormon is beyond me… is beyond my understanding. A man who doesn’t understands why people have to play head games with each other.
This radical love calls for radical responsibility! Yes. We are our brothers’ keeper. Anakha will never give up on Nicole. Anakha will always love Nicole with a love that surpasses people understanding. Anakha doesn’t give a shit about looking good… Let the world questioned, “How can you love a meth addict?” Remember, people were questioning Yeshua when he was ministering to the leper… the meth addicts of his day. Am I not my brothers’ keeper?
Never have I seen the Christic example than this woman prophet who will ventures into the deep crevasses of her soul just to heal the wounded parts of herself. Most people would rather project their pain on to others than to visit/view the dark, ugly places in their hearts. Not Anakha. She will do anything to heal the hearts of her beloveds. Anakha, I know you are God! Jeffrey, you are God!
Love and Blessings.
Did the LDS Church fail me when they didn’t come looking for me when I stopped going to church? I think not so… I gave them the cold shoulder every time they held out their hand to me. Local church members quickly grew tired of me rejecting their offers. After two years of reaching out to me, they gave up and left me alone. Would Yeshua given up on me and left me alone? Anakha understands the parable of the lost sheep. Jeffrey Smith understands the parable of the lost sheep.
Who is this Jeffrey Smith? Jeffrey is the lone member of the LDS Church who stuck by me when I stray from the church. Consider as one of the least of these by the world, a man without guile, disable from birth makes his way in the world without complaint. We’re two peas in a pod, easy-going with healthy appetites… we dine out twice a week. A love for smooth jazzy/new age music… Michael Allen Harrison fans. Yea, we hangout together… why he wants to hang with me… a jack Mormon is beyond me… is beyond my understanding. A man who doesn’t understands why people have to play head games with each other.
This radical love calls for radical responsibility! Yes. We are our brothers’ keeper. Anakha will never give up on Nicole. Anakha will always love Nicole with a love that surpasses people understanding. Anakha doesn’t give a shit about looking good… Let the world questioned, “How can you love a meth addict?” Remember, people were questioning Yeshua when he was ministering to the leper… the meth addicts of his day. Am I not my brothers’ keeper?
Never have I seen the Christic example than this woman prophet who will ventures into the deep crevasses of her soul just to heal the wounded parts of herself. Most people would rather project their pain on to others than to visit/view the dark, ugly places in their hearts. Not Anakha. She will do anything to heal the hearts of her beloveds. Anakha, I know you are God! Jeffrey, you are God!
Love and Blessings.
Friday, January 18, 2008
A Crazy Dream With A Simple Message
I had a crazy dream last night (Seven days later…got permission to publish post)
I disappeared into an invisible dimension where I was met by a well groom young man. He introduced himself to me as Ted Coman. He told me he never knew me in the physical world during his last lifetime. It seems at the time of the dream (early morning hours of January 12th) he came to me… I don’t know why? He claims I was the one he can contact that knew his daughter. There are many people who know and love his daughter, why didn’t he contact one of them?
Yeshua does not like it when I put myself down or try to second-guess myself. Ted had a simple message for me to convey to his daughter. “Please tell her how proud I am to be her father. Tell her how much I love her. I’ll be watching over her.” He then disappeared into the mist. I then felt the warmth of the covers over my body of my bed. My first thoughts were was that real or was that a lucid dream?
Love and Blessings.
I disappeared into an invisible dimension where I was met by a well groom young man. He introduced himself to me as Ted Coman. He told me he never knew me in the physical world during his last lifetime. It seems at the time of the dream (early morning hours of January 12th) he came to me… I don’t know why? He claims I was the one he can contact that knew his daughter. There are many people who know and love his daughter, why didn’t he contact one of them?
Yeshua does not like it when I put myself down or try to second-guess myself. Ted had a simple message for me to convey to his daughter. “Please tell her how proud I am to be her father. Tell her how much I love her. I’ll be watching over her.” He then disappeared into the mist. I then felt the warmth of the covers over my body of my bed. My first thoughts were was that real or was that a lucid dream?
Love and Blessings.
Friday, January 11, 2008
You Cannot Hide From Love's Grace
A new world
A new drug
A new way of being
A new perspective…a new way of seeing things
A new heart beats in my chest
A new love…a pure love
A new world is waiting for me…waiting to be birth. A new drug to inject into my veins…a new drug to transform my DNA. I AM the perfect love of God…a Divine Being waiting for his new world to be birth. Born out of the need to love…the need to give love…the need to be love. I walk the divine path, searching for the divine, like myself to mirror my love for you…I cried when you cry. I laughed when you laugh. I shut up and listen when you need to talk. I am here to share your joys and your despairs. This is my way of being. The way I see you is the way I see myself…I’m a mirror to you…I’m a bundle of love. My heart beats for you…my beloved.
Oh please, Dear sweet Goddess, give birth to this inherent need for love. Before it too late…before the world dies due to a lack of love. Love is like Air…without it, we all suffocate and die. I beg of you, please don’t retreat from love’s course you started in your heart’s dream. I don’t care if you ever respond to me. I will keep showing up until the world is no more. Someday, you will listen to me…you will listen to my beloved Yeshua. Yes my love, the rain will fall…the flowers will bloom…the sun will come out from behind the clouds and shine once again upon your face. You cannot hide form Love’s Grace.
A new drug
A new way of being
A new perspective…a new way of seeing things
A new heart beats in my chest
A new love…a pure love
A new world is waiting for me…waiting to be birth. A new drug to inject into my veins…a new drug to transform my DNA. I AM the perfect love of God…a Divine Being waiting for his new world to be birth. Born out of the need to love…the need to give love…the need to be love. I walk the divine path, searching for the divine, like myself to mirror my love for you…I cried when you cry. I laughed when you laugh. I shut up and listen when you need to talk. I am here to share your joys and your despairs. This is my way of being. The way I see you is the way I see myself…I’m a mirror to you…I’m a bundle of love. My heart beats for you…my beloved.
Oh please, Dear sweet Goddess, give birth to this inherent need for love. Before it too late…before the world dies due to a lack of love. Love is like Air…without it, we all suffocate and die. I beg of you, please don’t retreat from love’s course you started in your heart’s dream. I don’t care if you ever respond to me. I will keep showing up until the world is no more. Someday, you will listen to me…you will listen to my beloved Yeshua. Yes my love, the rain will fall…the flowers will bloom…the sun will come out from behind the clouds and shine once again upon your face. You cannot hide form Love’s Grace.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
What's Next?
You noticed I haven’t blog for two weeks… Christmas and New Years has come and gone. We’re now in the second week of January. What is it that resides in me? How long is the Universe going to allow me remains in my comfort zone… the mundane state of working as a corporate slave at Home Depot? How long before I make my move… or will it push me over the edge?
I had epiphany on New Years Eve at the Village Ballroom. I ringed the epiphany bell the very moment I experience the knowledge of my New Years resolution for 2008… Burning-man! What is Burning-man? To me it is the furriest place from the Mormon Church. My primal spirit wants to dance naked for seven nights before roaring bonfire along with 50,000 people. Burning-man is my Hajj to Mecca. The very idea of dancing naked with 50,000 clothing optional people will no doubt lead to the excommunication of my membership with the LDS Church.
What's next in ’08? Another cruise? A new relationship… a new lover? I just have to remain open and patient to what will unfold for me. I know it will be good… It’s all good. I put my trust in the Universe for my good. I need to be careful with the thoughts I think. My thoughts will manifest whatever I desire. My intent is that powerful.
Lead, follow or get out of the way… a choice. How will I make it? I can lead the way by blogging once a week or more. I can follow my heart… my beloved Yeshua, my Spirit Guide. I can follow the naked heart of a woman who is ten and a half years my junior. The same woman who is constantly being strip naked and forge in the refiner’s fire… heartbreak at every turn. When will it ever end? When the Masters of the Cosmos are ready to place her at the head of the table of the feast of love… when a group of individuals are ready to begin their next stage of their consciousness evolution and enter a state of pure love… The Beloved Community Of The Naked Heart. I can get out of the way of the Universe by ducking down the rabbit hole before she turns the world upside down.
Love and Blessings.
I had epiphany on New Years Eve at the Village Ballroom. I ringed the epiphany bell the very moment I experience the knowledge of my New Years resolution for 2008… Burning-man! What is Burning-man? To me it is the furriest place from the Mormon Church. My primal spirit wants to dance naked for seven nights before roaring bonfire along with 50,000 people. Burning-man is my Hajj to Mecca. The very idea of dancing naked with 50,000 clothing optional people will no doubt lead to the excommunication of my membership with the LDS Church.What's next in ’08? Another cruise? A new relationship… a new lover? I just have to remain open and patient to what will unfold for me. I know it will be good… It’s all good. I put my trust in the Universe for my good. I need to be careful with the thoughts I think. My thoughts will manifest whatever I desire. My intent is that powerful.
Lead, follow or get out of the way… a choice. How will I make it? I can lead the way by blogging once a week or more. I can follow my heart… my beloved Yeshua, my Spirit Guide. I can follow the naked heart of a woman who is ten and a half years my junior. The same woman who is constantly being strip naked and forge in the refiner’s fire… heartbreak at every turn. When will it ever end? When the Masters of the Cosmos are ready to place her at the head of the table of the feast of love… when a group of individuals are ready to begin their next stage of their consciousness evolution and enter a state of pure love… The Beloved Community Of The Naked Heart. I can get out of the way of the Universe by ducking down the rabbit hole before she turns the world upside down.
Love and Blessings.
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