The thoughts in my head this morning as I wakeup was what a blessing it was to be alive in this body. Something told me how eager I was to race to the end of the line in the afterlife waiting to be incardinated in another physical body. The ultimate desire to touch… to caress… to hold… to make love to God with a beating heart within her chest fill with mad passionate desire.
In order to attract such of God, my own heart must be already fill with the inner light of divine radiance. Only I can make changes or fill up my heart. If its depleted… lonely… heartbroken, so what! Why not sit with it? Maybe, just maybe God is in the heartbreak.
I’m listening to an audio book which is a popular read right now, Eat, Pray, Love. A story of a woman who dumps everything including her husband and goes on a yearlong odyssey in search of meaning to fill up her heart after many years of being empty. Though the author doesn’t advocate this advise to every woman with an depleted heart without first a lot of soul-searching leading to regret in the aftermath. It was her choice… her rout to enlightenment.
I wonder how cliché it is for religious or some spiritual people to relay on their God when their lives are so mess up and falling down before them? People claim to have their God when at the same time their hearts were empty. This was the case with yours truly. I can resonate with the message of my current spiritual teacher, like me, for many years she live a lie. The lives we lived were in a state of hypocrisy that we create our own messes.
If we’re willing, like a garment, the Universe take our souls and turns them inside out and hangs them to air out. Now, our hearts are on the outside and vulnerable for all to view. The hypocrisy, like dirt, falls to the ground. God can now ware the garment.
Love and Blessings.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Saturday, February 23, 2008
A Cry For Help From My Soul
My heart and soul feels depleted this morning. My inner voice told me I needed to be at Koru House at 11: 00 am.
Why? What about work?
Fuck Work! You have enough money to pay the rent. Please take care of your of heart and soul today. If you don’t, you’ll paid for it later. You will need to take $200.00 from the Angel Box and your green necklace with you for the day. Please listen to your soul.
Why so much money?
$150.00 for Anakha and Gene. $25.00 for lunch. And $25.00 for the party tonight.
What party?
You’ve forgotten about the Erotic Ball.
But, I don’t have a costume to wear for the ball.
You and your bull shit excuse. The Universe will provide. Now post and sent it out there.
Now?
Now, wise guy!
Why? What about work?
Fuck Work! You have enough money to pay the rent. Please take care of your of heart and soul today. If you don’t, you’ll paid for it later. You will need to take $200.00 from the Angel Box and your green necklace with you for the day. Please listen to your soul.
Why so much money?
$150.00 for Anakha and Gene. $25.00 for lunch. And $25.00 for the party tonight.
What party?
You’ve forgotten about the Erotic Ball.
But, I don’t have a costume to wear for the ball.
You and your bull shit excuse. The Universe will provide. Now post and sent it out there.
Now?
Now, wise guy!
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
The Everlasting Kiss
My one and only day off from work I find myself watching a movie on HBO called, “The Last Kiss.” It is the story of a young engaged couple that is caught up in their own self-absorb ego. They both desperately seeking away around the heartache and the unforgiveness they both experience from their indiscretion as well as their unfaithfulness.
In my highly evolve state of consciousness, it is permissible to have more than one lover. I say let love be love. God loving God. Enough of this God killing God business! We got to reverse this trend. We got to get over our self-absorb pettiness and allow the free flow of love go where it wants to goes. We must allow this free flow expression of love be or we are doom as a species.
My teacher is capable of loving more than one lover. I am open to a future lover who wants to explore my body and than wants to return to a former lover or find a new lover. That being said, you would think I have lost my mind. Good! I’m in good company.
The forthcoming DVD documentary, “We Are The Lovers” will further demonstrate this lesson. If you cannot wait for “We Are The Lovers” set for release later this year, you can click on Divine Masculine Blog or NakedHeart Blogin the right panel and scroll down to the YouTude video clip. There you can view a sample of what you may find in the DVD documentary.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful to get past the last kiss and enjoy that ever-last-ing kiss?
Love and Blessings.
In my highly evolve state of consciousness, it is permissible to have more than one lover. I say let love be love. God loving God. Enough of this God killing God business! We got to reverse this trend. We got to get over our self-absorb pettiness and allow the free flow of love go where it wants to goes. We must allow this free flow expression of love be or we are doom as a species.
My teacher is capable of loving more than one lover. I am open to a future lover who wants to explore my body and than wants to return to a former lover or find a new lover. That being said, you would think I have lost my mind. Good! I’m in good company.
The forthcoming DVD documentary, “We Are The Lovers” will further demonstrate this lesson. If you cannot wait for “We Are The Lovers” set for release later this year, you can click on Divine Masculine Blog or NakedHeart Blogin the right panel and scroll down to the YouTude video clip. There you can view a sample of what you may find in the DVD documentary.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful to get past the last kiss and enjoy that ever-last-ing kiss?
Love and Blessings.
Erotic Dreams At Koru House
Saturday night was a wild night for me. I entered my next stage of my consciousness evolution. I attended a Spicy Valentine Video party at Sharon and Art’s home called Koru House. I was one of the ninety attendee’s who dine on scrumptious vegetarian finger food and view three-minute clips of favorite spicy love scenes. It seems as the night wore on, the night got a little hotter.
The party broke up around mid-night. With no ride home, I was offered the downstairs futon to crash on. I made my way downstairs to get ready for bed. I went to use the bathroom for one last time for the night. I heard voices coming from the outside patio. I followed the voices through the dressing room, out the side door, up the steps, around the corner to the patio. Three party attendees were soaking the hot tub. They invited me to join them.
I return to the dressing room to retrieve a towel. My unconscious mind and my primal heart took over. I tore off my clothes and rapped the towel around my body and went out the door into the cold dark night. I could not believe how fast I was back at the hot tub. The beautiful strangers helped me get into the steaming bubbly water. It took a couple of minutes for my body to relax and get adjusted to the 102-degree water. I have been waiting for three and a half years to rip my conservative behavior from my consciousness.
Two more beautiful bodies join us in the Koru hot tub. With a total of six magnificent bodies to witness, I felt so grateful to be alive and incardinated with my beautiful body. After thirty-five in the hot tub, I decided it was time to get out. Two people helped out and over the side. They rip my towel around me and walked me to the dressing room. I placed my clothes on my magnificent body and went to bed.
During the night, I’ve dream of a beautiful woman with big piercing green eyes, coming to me inquiring what made me tick. She inquired how a highly conscious evolve man become trapped in a body with cerebral palsy? She desired to touch me, to hold me tightly to her sensual body.
The morning came… The warm sun was out. My beloved Gene, who lives at Koru House, made me a delicious breakfast of eggs sunny-side-up and toast. We hung out together before going to dance. I had a crump in my left calf from the cold night air after retrieving from the hot tub. Gene massaged it trying to loosen it. I finally walked it off on the sidewalk in front of Anakha’s house. Gene was chasing Jack with his play toy in his mouth. We were running behind schedule because Jack wanted to play in the warm sun.
As Anakha was helping me out of the back seat of Gene’s car she slip on some grabble and fell on the sidewalk in front of the Village Ballroom. I felt bad for her and try to help her to her feet. Once inside, I did some reiki on her slightly bruised elbow. The music began and wanted to get out on the dance floor. Gene finally joins us on the floor after parking the car three blocks away. I saw many familiar faces that I did not know by name. Fifteen minutes of music went by before I made eye contact.
I was entranced by the sensually beautiful woman with big piercing green eyes. Oh My God! My mind started to freak. Was this the woman from my erotic dream? I remember my ego and maintain my composer. I was lock in a eye contact embrace and did not want let go. I enjoy our little C.I. session. No name… No phone number. Can someone help me out? Hint, Hint.
Ten minutes later, I held my Beloveds in the divine embrace and cried in gratitude for their love for me. And one last groundbreaking experience for me is traveling down Interstate Five pantsless. You want to explain? Gene was taking me to work. We were running late as usual. To save time I decided to change from my dance clothes into my street clothes. We were driving south bound on I – 5 while I was changing my pants. I thought of a Blog Title: Pantsless On I-5.
I was drained by the end of the day but happy. Love and Blessings.
The party broke up around mid-night. With no ride home, I was offered the downstairs futon to crash on. I made my way downstairs to get ready for bed. I went to use the bathroom for one last time for the night. I heard voices coming from the outside patio. I followed the voices through the dressing room, out the side door, up the steps, around the corner to the patio. Three party attendees were soaking the hot tub. They invited me to join them.
I return to the dressing room to retrieve a towel. My unconscious mind and my primal heart took over. I tore off my clothes and rapped the towel around my body and went out the door into the cold dark night. I could not believe how fast I was back at the hot tub. The beautiful strangers helped me get into the steaming bubbly water. It took a couple of minutes for my body to relax and get adjusted to the 102-degree water. I have been waiting for three and a half years to rip my conservative behavior from my consciousness.
Two more beautiful bodies join us in the Koru hot tub. With a total of six magnificent bodies to witness, I felt so grateful to be alive and incardinated with my beautiful body. After thirty-five in the hot tub, I decided it was time to get out. Two people helped out and over the side. They rip my towel around me and walked me to the dressing room. I placed my clothes on my magnificent body and went to bed.
During the night, I’ve dream of a beautiful woman with big piercing green eyes, coming to me inquiring what made me tick. She inquired how a highly conscious evolve man become trapped in a body with cerebral palsy? She desired to touch me, to hold me tightly to her sensual body.
The morning came… The warm sun was out. My beloved Gene, who lives at Koru House, made me a delicious breakfast of eggs sunny-side-up and toast. We hung out together before going to dance. I had a crump in my left calf from the cold night air after retrieving from the hot tub. Gene massaged it trying to loosen it. I finally walked it off on the sidewalk in front of Anakha’s house. Gene was chasing Jack with his play toy in his mouth. We were running behind schedule because Jack wanted to play in the warm sun.
As Anakha was helping me out of the back seat of Gene’s car she slip on some grabble and fell on the sidewalk in front of the Village Ballroom. I felt bad for her and try to help her to her feet. Once inside, I did some reiki on her slightly bruised elbow. The music began and wanted to get out on the dance floor. Gene finally joins us on the floor after parking the car three blocks away. I saw many familiar faces that I did not know by name. Fifteen minutes of music went by before I made eye contact.
I was entranced by the sensually beautiful woman with big piercing green eyes. Oh My God! My mind started to freak. Was this the woman from my erotic dream? I remember my ego and maintain my composer. I was lock in a eye contact embrace and did not want let go. I enjoy our little C.I. session. No name… No phone number. Can someone help me out? Hint, Hint.
Ten minutes later, I held my Beloveds in the divine embrace and cried in gratitude for their love for me. And one last groundbreaking experience for me is traveling down Interstate Five pantsless. You want to explain? Gene was taking me to work. We were running late as usual. To save time I decided to change from my dance clothes into my street clothes. We were driving south bound on I – 5 while I was changing my pants. I thought of a Blog Title: Pantsless On I-5.
I was drained by the end of the day but happy. Love and Blessings.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Erotic Remembrances
This post is for my beloveds… Anakha, David and Gene. I awoke from an erotic remembrances dream, so I decided to get up and blog about it. Six Mormon women turned me on.
May 1979: The very first erotic experience… Jolene and I were sitting on her couch, kissing… making out. I don’t think she was wearing a bra. I can remember feeling her breasts against my body.
October 1980: Sherri removes the top portion of her dress, exposing her breasts. I remembered replacing her clothing, kissing her, holding her tightly to my body. Another erotic moment with Sherri came in February 1981: she have moved out of her grandparent’s home into a studio apartment off of 71st & SE Division. We were alone and she started undressing me. She took off her clothes and we made love on the bare floor. I remember riding the bus down Division Street towards home and being high from the euphoria.
Ginger never made me hot in her presences, in November 1988; she called me one night to tell me she couldn’t come over because she was horny for my body. Shit!
March 1989: I was attending a LDS Church singles dance in Seattle. I dance with a beautiful woman named Diana, who was wearing a tight fitting dress, which would reveal every sensual curve of her body as she moved across the dance floor. I was so turned on.
May 1990: I remember greeting my girlfriend, Pam at the front door of her Canby home. She was wearing these parachute pants. As I was greeting her, I was bending over backwards, kissing her. I was hornier than hell.
This segment of the blog is a love story. This is the way I want to be held by my beloved. Periodically 1992 – 2003: Every time I dance with Kay, she would hold me tightly to her body. She would look into my eyes as if she was going to kiss me. I never did get a chance to taste those sweet lips of her. She never did take the chance to kiss me because of fear.
My last erotic encounter was Sunday, February 3rd: where I embraced Anakha, like Kay, tightly to my body. I held in a full embrace my beloveds, David, Gene and Anakha. As I held them against my body, listen to their moaning and felt the sweet sweat from their bodies.
Love and Blessings.
P.S. The only regret I have is the guilt that was associated with these divine erotic experiences that were for my devolvement.
May 1979: The very first erotic experience… Jolene and I were sitting on her couch, kissing… making out. I don’t think she was wearing a bra. I can remember feeling her breasts against my body.
October 1980: Sherri removes the top portion of her dress, exposing her breasts. I remembered replacing her clothing, kissing her, holding her tightly to my body. Another erotic moment with Sherri came in February 1981: she have moved out of her grandparent’s home into a studio apartment off of 71st & SE Division. We were alone and she started undressing me. She took off her clothes and we made love on the bare floor. I remember riding the bus down Division Street towards home and being high from the euphoria.
Ginger never made me hot in her presences, in November 1988; she called me one night to tell me she couldn’t come over because she was horny for my body. Shit!
March 1989: I was attending a LDS Church singles dance in Seattle. I dance with a beautiful woman named Diana, who was wearing a tight fitting dress, which would reveal every sensual curve of her body as she moved across the dance floor. I was so turned on.
May 1990: I remember greeting my girlfriend, Pam at the front door of her Canby home. She was wearing these parachute pants. As I was greeting her, I was bending over backwards, kissing her. I was hornier than hell.
This segment of the blog is a love story. This is the way I want to be held by my beloved. Periodically 1992 – 2003: Every time I dance with Kay, she would hold me tightly to her body. She would look into my eyes as if she was going to kiss me. I never did get a chance to taste those sweet lips of her. She never did take the chance to kiss me because of fear.
My last erotic encounter was Sunday, February 3rd: where I embraced Anakha, like Kay, tightly to my body. I held in a full embrace my beloveds, David, Gene and Anakha. As I held them against my body, listen to their moaning and felt the sweet sweat from their bodies.
Love and Blessings.
P.S. The only regret I have is the guilt that was associated with these divine erotic experiences that were for my devolvement.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Loyalty Waits For Love
I spent the majority of my day in a waiting room at Tuality Community Hospital in Hillsboro. My loyalties lie with a close-nit friend who was there for me when I had my knee surgery eighteen month ago. Jeffrey Smith was scheduled for a total hip replacement surgery at One O’clock pm.
Jeffrey was lucky only to be bump back ninety minutes and entering the O.R. around 2:30 pm. I was not as fortunate as Jeffrey was. My schedule surgery time kept getting push back due to unforeseen emergency surgeries. Jeffrey stuck with me while waiting along with my folks in my hospital room. When the folks hit the state of boredom, they exit the room to parts unknown. Not Jeffrey. For over 24 hours, he stays by my bedside.
What is wrong with this boy? Maybe he enjoyed the beautiful view from the eighth floor window overlooking the tree-cover West Hills. Does this man ever get bored I though?
In an effort to demonstrate my loyalty to Jeffrey, I waited until he was out of surgery. His mother finally sent me home at 6:30 tonight. As I was getting ready to leave the hospital waiting room, the doctor came by to make his report to the family members. I will keep you updated on Jeffrey recovery in the following weeks.
I’ll answer the question is Jeffrey one of the lovers.
Love and Blessings.
Jeffrey was lucky only to be bump back ninety minutes and entering the O.R. around 2:30 pm. I was not as fortunate as Jeffrey was. My schedule surgery time kept getting push back due to unforeseen emergency surgeries. Jeffrey stuck with me while waiting along with my folks in my hospital room. When the folks hit the state of boredom, they exit the room to parts unknown. Not Jeffrey. For over 24 hours, he stays by my bedside.
What is wrong with this boy? Maybe he enjoyed the beautiful view from the eighth floor window overlooking the tree-cover West Hills. Does this man ever get bored I though?
In an effort to demonstrate my loyalty to Jeffrey, I waited until he was out of surgery. His mother finally sent me home at 6:30 tonight. As I was getting ready to leave the hospital waiting room, the doctor came by to make his report to the family members. I will keep you updated on Jeffrey recovery in the following weeks.
I’ll answer the question is Jeffrey one of the lovers.
Love and Blessings.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Poetry For The Mind
At the end of dance today, I wrote these in the sacred book...
We are the seeds...
We are the trees...
We are the planets...
We are the stars in the cosmic Universe
fulfilling the measure of our creation.
We are the seeds...
We are the trees...
We are the planets...
We are the stars in the cosmic Universe
fulfilling the measure of our creation.
Friday, February 1, 2008
My Green Necklace
I got my green necklace back from the repair shop today. I wanted to put it on right away. Yeshua told me to wait until the next ritual ceremony where a High Priestess can put it for you. Okay… February 14th is Anakha’s next ritual. I can wait until than.
As Jeffrey and I were driving down northeast Broadway, another voice within my head asked, “Have you paid off all your debts yet?” No, I thought to myself. “You shouldn’t ware it until you have done so.” The voice came again.
Is this voice different from Yeshua’s voice? Is this the same voice that almost drove me insane when I a practicing Mormon? This voice sounds like the critical voice from within. I want to ware my green necklace as soon as possible. How am I going to pay off fourteen hundred dollar by February 14th?
That green necklace means a great deal to me… it gives me confidence as a lightworker and a healer. The necklace contains healing as well as psychic properties. I follow my heart in picking out the necklace. Yeshua wanted me to try it on and ware it when I first found it at Healing Waters & Sacred Spaces in NE Portland. I had to place it on laid away for three months while paying for it.
I felt naked when the thread broke and fell off my neck when I was at Sacred Circle Dance. I was almost devastated when I found it on floor of the bathroom as I was getting dress after dance. But, I kept my cool as Gene drove me across town to take it in for repair. I compare it to being naked without Mormon Garments. Yes, I once wore those. I don’t miss them.
Love and Blessings.
As Jeffrey and I were driving down northeast Broadway, another voice within my head asked, “Have you paid off all your debts yet?” No, I thought to myself. “You shouldn’t ware it until you have done so.” The voice came again.
Is this voice different from Yeshua’s voice? Is this the same voice that almost drove me insane when I a practicing Mormon? This voice sounds like the critical voice from within. I want to ware my green necklace as soon as possible. How am I going to pay off fourteen hundred dollar by February 14th?
That green necklace means a great deal to me… it gives me confidence as a lightworker and a healer. The necklace contains healing as well as psychic properties. I follow my heart in picking out the necklace. Yeshua wanted me to try it on and ware it when I first found it at Healing Waters & Sacred Spaces in NE Portland. I had to place it on laid away for three months while paying for it.
I felt naked when the thread broke and fell off my neck when I was at Sacred Circle Dance. I was almost devastated when I found it on floor of the bathroom as I was getting dress after dance. But, I kept my cool as Gene drove me across town to take it in for repair. I compare it to being naked without Mormon Garments. Yes, I once wore those. I don’t miss them.
Love and Blessings.
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