The Ecstasy Of Making Love To Sherri

It has been some time since I blog on my own blog. I posted on other sacred communities blogs, i.e. “We Are The Lovers”, (No longer accessible) “The Oneness Experiment”, (No longer accessible) and “Radical Man”, (A private and closed blog).

Tonight, I revisited the “You Are God” blog and it trigger an important, yet sacred dream I had earlier this month involving Sherri, my first wife, now decease. This special dream occurred the week of what would have been our 29th anniversary. I was privileged to share this dream with a friend and confidante earlier this week. The words she said and the things she told me intrigued me.

Many years have gone by since our divorce in 1988, and since that time, I’ve been a man with hidden rage. Yes, I am a man of cover up anger. The truth comes out and I am vulnerable.

In the early morning hours when most dreams occurred, I was making mad, passionate love to Sherri, a pleasantly plum, Goddess-shape body. The two parties were one flesh in throve in the act of love making, kissing each centimeter of the softest skin to touch.

I woke up to the alarm of the clock radio, in tears, I heard the words going from my heart to my head, “I forgive you, Sherri. I love you.” Oh My God! Did I just have a break through? Than came the memories of the sweetest, one hour bus ride home the very night I lost my virginity to my soon-to-be first wife. All I can think about was our two bodies being together.

One day, I was in ecstasy. The next day, I was sitting in shame in front of a Mormon Bishop. I asked my friend in confidante, why is it the male ego is eager to shame us when no harm was done, only a beautiful expressive act of love was preformed? Her answer was, they are cut off from Divine Feminine, which is the body.

If you want to have a love affaire with the Divine, you will not allow anyone to shame you. To love the Beloved Divine is to love the Self. You are the Beloved. You Are God.

She is Rev. Anakha Shannon Coman

Even though I am led by a “Higher Power” I called Manasseh, I find it necessary to have a spiritual adviser. I believe this notion extents from my many years in the LDS (Mormon) Church i.e., organized religion, where as each member had his/her spiritual adviser known as their Bishop, who would judge your spiritual worthiness.

The spiritual adviser I have now wouldn’t even begin to judge your spiritual worthiness. My spiritual adviser is a woman, which I never thought possible. LEC founder, Dr. Rev. Mary Manin Morrissey was never considered my spiritual adviser. Although, she was a woman who expounded truths, which resonated with my soul. Celebration Church founder, Rev. Barry Dennis is not my spiritual adviser either.

Just who is my spiritual adviser? A special woman who knows and understands unconditional love. She embodies love wherever she goes. She opens her mouth to speak and words of love come out.

Shawn Lawson Freeman, you lucky son-of-a-gun, (I wanted to use a different word that starts with a B) do you have any idea what you got? Could it be she is the persona of one of greatest spiritual teachers who ever live? She has daily communion with the Beloved. I can’t wait to get my hands on her forthcoming book. She is the founder of the FireHeart Sanctuary, my new church home.

She is the Soul of Oneness… She is Rev. Anakha Shannon Coman

The Soul of Oneness

The soul is made of love and must ever strive to return to love.
Therefore, it can never find rest nor happiness in other things.
It must lose itself in love. By its very nature it must seek God, who is love.
~ Mechthild of Magdenburg ~

Essential Practice: At the center of the soul of oneness is unconditional love. It is the lifeline that connects us; it is the blood that courses through our veins. It is our most powerful and most untapped resource and energy on the planet today. It is the fabric of our existence, it is who we are. To experience the soul of oneness requires that you give the most precious gift you can offer others and that is your unconditional presence. When you embrace others with mindfulness and unconditional love, they bloom, thrive and soar. Begin your day with connecting to your own presence, the soul of oneness, through silence and prayer. Remember that you are not what you do and you are not the various roles and activities that you will enact today. You are a soul living in this human experience. Connect with your soul with each breath. Fill yourself with God’s unconditional love, allowing it to infuse your heart, your body and your awareness. Know that in this present moment and in every moment, you are connected to the source of oneness and filled to overflowing with unconditional love. When you take time to become present with yourself, you will find that you naturally want to give the gift of your presence to others. Practice being in presence everywhere you are today and with everyone you meet. Receive each person as a gift from God sent to you as a messenger and a reminder to be present. Extend your love to each person by offering your unconditional presence. Listen beyond and between the words. Listen for the expression of love. Listen for the request for love. Listen for the soul of oneness. Today, your only purpose is to give this most magnificent gift of your own unguarded heart, your own unconditional presence. Tend to each person you meet as an extension of the soul of oneness. Remember that often what is most precious hides itself, the wild and tender things have retreated and will only reveal themselves to those who are present. Watch the preciousness unfold before you as you pay attention to what has heart and meaning moment to moment, person to person. This is the soul of oneness. Affirmation: I am powerfully present, tending to the soul of oneness and enfolding every person I meet with unconditional love.

Advise From A Higher Power

The following is a dialogue with Manasseh in a meditation on Monday night,

Sitting quietly with my thoughts drifting through my head until one thought arise and catches my attention.

Pete: “How do I receive intimacy without the ego getting involve or the fear of rejection?”

Manasseh: “Allow the love… The touch… The intimacy, you crave come to you. Do not go chasing after it, for you will never catch it or attain the kind of intimacy you desire.”

Peter: “I had an encounter on Sunday. It was beautiful.”

Manasseh: “I know you did. You made a heart and soul connection.”

Peter: “I did? I must admit, there wasn’t any physical attraction at first. The very moment I’d place my hands upon her skin, it was electric. It was ecstasy as I rub the oil over her body. I felt the smoothness and the warmth of her skin. I knew this was the intimacy I’d desire.”

Manasseh: “It was a special hour created by the Universe and your Guides and Angels who want you to know there is sacred intimacy and love for you.”

Peter: “Will I continue to have these encounters that turn out to be a one time moment, like the one I had in June?”

Manasseh: “These ‘Intimacy Encounters’ as you call them, are for your karmic growth… To reintroduce you to sacred manhood which is the interactions and the relationships between the divine masculine and the divine feminine… The way Karmic Lords intended men and women to have healthy relations.”

Peter: “Why can’t it be with one person the first time and not with different people?”

Manasseh: “Love is not exclusive… Love is all-inclusive. Peter, there is a problem with the society you live in. The people in your culture tend to pair up into monogamies relationships, which can create ego-base jealousy, eventually leads to murderous rampages that is so prevalent in today’s media.”

Peter: “I don’t understand how this can happen in a civilized society like ours…”

Manasseh: “The society you live in is far from being civilized, like that of indigenous and some Native America cultures, where they practice open-hearted love. Also known as poly or open relationship can greatly reduce the ego-base center individual. This society you live in, has it in their underdeveloped minds that their partner/spouse is the something as their material property.

The ego-minded individual is unable to share that which has been given to them by the Universe. The ego is a hog, which hoard everything he/she can get their hands on… ‘Mine, all mine… I will not share.’ Whither it money, property, power or fame, the ego of greed will lead to destruction.”

Peter: “There is so much fear in the world. Many are self-conscious and fearful they won’t get their faire share what they expect is theirs. The lost of their personal property, not to mention the lost of personal relationships can cause anxiety in any one of us. What can I do to reverse this trend of this consciousness?”

Manasseh: “Now, that is the sixty-four thousand dollar question… Sounds like a cliché. Several things can be done to heal the world… To heal this culture… Shine you light… Raise your vibration… Love yourself… Love your neighbor, are just the first steps.

Can you honestly look in the mirror at yourself, and say. I Love You, Peter? Take a journey to the darkness inside of you… What do you see? The fear… The insecurity… The lack… The abandonment… The abuse…The self-abuse… The shame… The injustice… The judgment… The pain… The emotional scars… The ugliness of your body… The ugliness of your mind… The ugliness of your heart… The numbing of your entire soul. Look at all of it, don’t turn away to hide… Take a good look at the shit you stuffed down for years.

Bring all that shit up and expose it to the light. Yes, you’re afraid. I know you’re scared. I will hold you with my love. I will love you forever. You can’t get rid of me. You and I are one. Together, we will transform into a beautiful butterfly. I will open my hand and you will feel the true power of your wings. I will set you free. You will flouter and flap your wings within the palm of my hand. You will lift and fly off into love’s beautiful sky. No one will ever shame you again. You will know true power and true freedom.

There is one more item to remember before I let you go. You must never forget all that was given to you from the Universe is to be share with your neighbor… Everyone you meet.

Be Well. Be Whole. Be Healed. Be Free.”

Past Life Visions

Circling around in the air through the mist of the clouds, a beautiful high waterfall comes into focus. The vision zooms closer on to the pond of clear water just below the waterfall as my attention is drawn to two people playing in the spray of mist. Upon closer inspection, as the vision closes in on the pond below, I took notice that the two people swimming in the pond were naked, a man and a woman, relatively young with vitality, making love in the spray.

The vision is beautiful to my heart, with its lush pristine landscape and lovemaking. The vision pans around to the mountainside as the vision continues, a mountain man dressed in old western garb, seems to have appears out of nowhere. The mountain man with his bushy beard stands high overhead on the cliff above, aims a shotgun at the two bodies below. He shoots. The sound of a rifle going off echoes through the air, red blood fills the waters around the two naked bodies. The woman floats lifeless as the man screams in horror.

Bullets now penetrate the waters around the man as he swims frantically to the nearby shoreline. He bounds on to the shore and disappears into the forest as a couple of bullets missed their intended target. The expression on the man’s face is one of sock, horrify and of devastation. The very thought of the lost of his beloved fills his mind and spilled into his heart as rage as runs naked through the woods.

Hours later he returns to the pond. In the twilight he reenters the waters of their once love-playing to retrieve the body of his beloved. He carries her gently and reverently as he sobs to their small cabin of their abode. He lovingly lays her cold lifeless body on to their bed of love. He undresses and lays down next her by spooning her as masculine sounds of sobs fills the darkness.

By early dawn he is found working on digging her grave. With sweat covering his face he digs until the sun is high in the sky. Without eating a meal he retreats to a small woodshed and starts working on a box. Taking wet mud from the ground he lined the cracks in the coffin shape box allowing the mud to dry in the afternoon sun. He takes the bed sheet from their bed of passion and lined her casket with the sheets. As the sun starts to sets, he dresses her slender body with long dark hair in a 1850s western style dress. By sundown, he carries her to a rustic looking wooden coffin behind the log cabin. He places her in the coffin; bow down to kiss her good bye one last time.

He places a wooden lid over her coffin and secures it. Jumping down into her grave he lifts with all of his strength the coffin into the ground, he can barely crawl from her grave. Standing upright, looking up to the heavens questioning what he knew was God why take away his lover. With rage filling his heart and soul vowing revenge he covered her grave with earth.

End of Vision.

The Manasseh Dreams have struck again. Gene, I think you are right… you may be on to something.

A woman in a yellow-framed wheelchair rolled up next to me. “I’ve been waiting for you.” She told me.

Who was this attractive, openhearted, middle-aged woman with the pale green eyes that sees down to the deaths of your soul? Every time she smiles, she can melt the iciness of the coldest of hearts.

“Huh? For me?” Flabbergasted, I blurted out, “You’re not real!”

She locked her wheelchair in place and then she gently lifted herself up out of the rolling chair, took two steps closer to me and plop herself down into my lap. I felt the sensation of the weight and the warmth of her body upon my lap… she felt very real. She put her right arm around my neck and with those pale green eyes of hers, stares into my eyes right down to the core of my being and simply reply, “Oh, I’m real alright.”

She than gently leans her head against my cheekbone as if she was at home with herself. Have you ever had a dream that felt so real, but you knew it was just a dream? “Okay, if you’re so real, than tell me your name.” I asked her. Never in a dream has a woman’s name been reveal until now.

“Chelsea, my name is Chelsea. But, I don’t like my name. You can call me… “ (POP) Dammed it… day light streams into my bedroom window. There, with my blankets huddle around my neck, staring at the trees outside my bedroom window.

I swear the dream felt so real… vivid in every color, detail in every action and motion, sensational in every feeling and emotion. I should’ve known it was all a dream with the violent sidebar of a ritual death, which seem surreal and its flake scenery that didn’t make any since.

The Love’s Elixir community may grow weary of my Manasseh dreams in my ego opinion I’m limiting it to the You Are God blog. I believe my inner lover has retired for the evening.

Christmas Dreams Of Wisdom

I had another one of mine “Manasseh” dreams during the night… a long, detail, vivid dream that leaves you exhausted by morning’s light.

A Mormon Church leader wanted to challenge me on my rebellious apostate attitude, by charging me with insufficient pure faith. In my dream, he declared, “Peter, you are unfit for the kingdom of God, because you lack the pure faith that the Son of Man died on the cross for our sins!”

In days leading up to this dream, I have been questioning my faith. What is faith? It seems to me I no longer believe in the traditional Christian Judaic way of life.

I was in a Portland park, as the dream continue, surrounded by a small band of riff-raft, no more than twelve, dress in raggedy old clothes, I was speaking my own brand of philosophy and religion to my little band of followers, “Why do you need salvation from someone who died on a cross, when you’re already made perfect in the image of your Creator?”

I notice a slender woman standing close to our little “Hippie church” in the park trying to listen in on what was being said. She was dress to the nines… expensive in taste of style of clothing, which did not fit the norm. In my dream, she had on a red satin mini dress covered by a thick fur coat and a fur head bun. Who was she and what was she doing at my little hippie church?

Was she the wife of the Mormon Church leader who earlier commended me, sent to spy on me? She followed us as we move through the park, stopping near a large nardly-twisted oak tree. One of my disciples started speaking, “Faith is knowing that the trees will grow… the sun will rise and set with each passing day… the rivers and streams will flow to the oceans. And the Universe will provide for all of your needs.”

The woman, who have been following us, came up to me and whisper in my ear, “Where do you learn such wisdom?”

The dream was over. I was here, alone in my bed, on Christmas morning. Something inside me told me to blog about this dream.

Where do we learn about such wisdom? To me, love is the wisdom.

Happy Birthday, Yeshua…

The Face Of Fear

Sleep evades me as a painted scenario unfolds within my mind’s eye. My mind is torture by thoughts of the pending realities created by years of self-neglect. After years of the lies, mental, emotional mutilation and abuse, the Cosmic Universe of cause and effect has run its course.

This blog is in no way intended for the eyes of the loving hearts of Elixir’s people who already step through the threshold of self-petty and have conquer their daemons. If some tread their way to this obscure blog, be ware… this is not going to be pretty.

Pictured the painted scenario starts out with heavy rains, gusty winds. The temperature starts to plummet, rain quickly turns to snow. Alone, on the streets of some distant state, a young woman, in her twenty-second of life is turned out by an abusive so-called lover.

With no one to turn to… her mother long since dead cause by spinal meningitis brought on by years of drug abuse… her father, emotionally detach, preoccupied by making a meager living so he would not be in fear of living on the streets. Yes, her father lives in fear, with the economy tanking, unmarketable by his physical condition, the lost of his job can be devastating.

Her siblings have disowned her due to issues of deceit. Her paternal grandparents refuse to acknowledge her existences. Her maternal grandmother, bitter by the deaths of her daughter and her husband, cannot deal with her granddaughter’s diminish mental and emotional capacity.

The lack of family, friends, shelter and income can have demoralizing effects on the intellect. What are the alternative choices she can make? With everything in her world conspires against her, she may feel she has but one option…

Check out…
Exit…
Terminate…
Suicide.