Beloved Of Rama Manasseh' Heart II

Never forgetting the source of her inner beauty

She walks the earth plane in sublime wonder.

Sometimes she sees herself as insignificant

When the waves of crudity come crashing at her feet.

Her heart is so tender and shy as a child’s

She hides her persona behind her Mother’s invisible sari.

The Mother of Grace would like to

Train her how to stand firm on her own.

Processing her tender feelings

The Divine gives her lessons with loving Seva

She cries and buries her beatific head

In her Divine Ma Mom’s sari as her head pounds

Amma gently lifts her chin to her sweet glazed

And softly speaks a few simple words to her heart

Know my child, you are one with me.

But you have to learn these life’s lessons…

To love yourself as I loved you sweet child.

You have to open that beautiful heart of yours

And share with my other children your precious gifts.

Dear child please stop hiding yourself

In my shadow

And show yourself

To the other children who want to play.

Grace shall be pour out

On your sweet head

As you demonstrate your willingness

To show up with all your gifts…

Love…

Compassion…

Kindness…

Courage…

Integrity…

Virtuousness…

Patience…

Gentleness…

Playfulness…

Singing…

Dancing…

Yes, all of these gifts I have given to you sweet child

You are Amma’s precious darling daughter

Who plays sweetly with Amma’s other children

Who shares her presence without shyness.

She ventures out in the sunshine of love

on to the playground of courage

And shares her song with the other children

Amma smiles as Divine Grace

Watches over her spiritual offspring.

When God provides her spirit children

With physical bodies…

Are they not suppose to leave her side

As a child leaves its Mother and Father?

Matures and venturing out on to the playground of life

And share their gifts that she has gifted them

When they have come to walk on the  earth plane.

Beloved Of Rama Manasseh' Heart

Divine Grace revealed to consciousness

An angel’ portrait

Effecting the beating heart

Resonating within the

Inner Sanctum

Where no earthly attachment dwells.

Heaven’s beauty sings and dances

In her angelic smile

Uplifting most heavy hearted

To higher realms of thought.

Divine light shines forth

From her sparkling eyes

Sweet invitation

Of gracious kindness

Gladly welcomes you

To her radiant presence.

The moment you spot this luminous being

The heart shall be transform forever

Never forgetting the source of her inner beauty

She walks the earth plane in sublime wonder.

Meeting Amma -- Part 1

Amma, Sri Mata Amritanandamayi Devi 

The events that led up to now, began just over six months ago, on November 17^th, when I took a road trip to San Ramon, California, for the purpose of meeting Amma, a humanitarian, who gave hundreds of millions of dollars to feed, housed and educate India’s poor and most vulnerable people.  She is known as the hugging saint, who has hugged and console, literary millions of people from every walk of life, all over the world.  This saintly India woman, dressed in white, traditional India women’s clothes, known as a sari, with a white veil partially covering her head, had previous visiting me in a dream, placing her hands on my heart chakra. This was the start of my healing process, which cause me to cried out in the middle of the night.

Ok, wait!  How did I get to this point?  I’ll try to make this short and precise as possible.  In early 2012, I got to know a husband and wife healing team, from a small Oregon coastal town, Neskowin, Oregon.  Gary and Sharon Morris, previous acquitted from the Alice Street Spiritualist church in 2005.  Gary and Sharon met their Guru, Amma in late 2003, were married and their names change by Amma in 2005.  I know them as Chidambaran and Shuba.  I had the desire to move to the next level of my evaluation phase in 2013, but they’re no spiritual healers in the Portland area I resonated with.  One night, in a dream, I heard the names, Chidambaran and Shuba.  In the morning, I got on the computer and went to their website, Accelerated Awakenings, and there I found out they conduct a weekend workshop, called Night Of Transformation.  It took me four months to find my way from my home in Tualatin to their cabin in Neskowin.  I believe the delay in the timing was for my benefit, thus the Universe has a way of knowing when you are ready or not.  By July 2013, I finally found myself in their Puja room, with the emotion of anger in my body being release through my mouth.  “Shit!  This is intense.” Was my statement, as the first session came to a close.  Feelings of inadequacy and living with cerebral palsy dominated my second session.  Screaming at the top my lungs was not my idea of fun.  But, it seems to release the heaviness around my heart.  When I left their cabin  in Neskowin, the thought enter my mind, “You’re not done.”  Ok, I shrub my shoulders and went home.  I noticed their home was covered with portraits of their guru, an India woman, dressed in white garb wearing a golden nose ring, and a rather large red dot painted in the center of her forehead.  A smaller gold dot partially covered the red dot, wondering what the significance was.  Is this the same India woman who came to Seattle in the month of May, year after year?

In October 2013, I returned to the Neskowin cabin in hope for relief from many years of deep seeded rage.  Buried so deeply in my emotional body, Chidambaran and Shuba did everything they can to get me to feel in my heart.  But nothing was coming forth, no tears, no emotion, nothing.  Thinking there was nothing to cry about, I went to bed.  After a few hours of restless sleep, I finally fell into a dream state, where the India Woman from the portraits around their cabin, appeared from out of no where, standing some ten feet in front of me, she raised her arms towards me as she started to approach me.  Her soft hands made contact with the center of my chest.  A feeling of soothing of love momentary penetrated my torso.  A loud, uncontrollable wail escapes my mouth disturbing the cabin. Minutes later, Shuba comes running into the bedroom where I was sleeping.  Still wailing., Shuba grabs on to my shaking body and tried to console me in my sobbing.  After a few more minutes of sobbing, I was consolable enough to explain about the India woman in my dream.  Shuba laughed with tears of joy.  “It was Amma!  She opened your heart.”

I was absolutely intrigue by the power of this India woman to healed emotional trauma.  My heart felt lighter than it had in years, almost child-like,  without a worry in the world.  So many questions flooded my mind about this India woman I had to know.  I learned my new found friends were planning a road trip to the bay area in November to see their guru, the very same India woman who opened my heart.  I was told, she would be in Seattle in May and that trip would be easier on me.  I was  impatient and I wanted my answers ASAP.  The money to go on the California road trip was already in my bank account.  It was a matter of waiting for her beckon call.  A week before the retreat registration money was due, I felt her tug on my heart and knew it was her calling me to her Ashram in San Ramon, California.

This is only the beginning of the story... There's more to come... Plus original poetry.

Time For A Reality Check Or Should I say Choice?

Blog Time? Thoughts manifested to words on a page. Does anyone care what I think, never the less what I have to say?

I don’t care what people think of me or if they even read my blog. I write this blog for me and I put it out there to the Universe by publishing to a website

Everyday, I deal with the outer world, to some, called the Matrix. This physical world we called life, can at times seen chaotic. The drama played out before our eyes can be to some a bit overwhelming. For some folks, the use of certain media to distract themselves from reality is a means of escape.

False voices, false flags are constant in today’s culture. WTF is a false flag? When governments or organizations (usually connected to the former) stage highly sophisticated attacks on their own or foreign soil with the purpose of placing the blame on a desirable enemy foreign or domestic, one who has otherwise done no wrong. The bullshit played upon “dumb-downed” citizens to create fear in their hearts and their minds to take control of their will just to play it safe. In other words, they give up their liberties for the sake of safety.

Who are the Illuminati? Save it for another day, another blog.

In order to defeat this monster, retreat into your inner world. Do you think meditation alone will destroy the monster? No. Waking up will. Waking up together as one humanity is a force to be dealt with. To wake up, go inside, embrace the shadow side, the darkness you called ugliness that no one wants to deal with. By taking responsibility of your own shit, you’re freeing your shadow side and you're well on your way of mastering. Yes, it sounds like a lot of dirty work.

As a greeter at Home Depot, I do my part to put on my happy face and greet the public. Does the public pay any attention to me? Some do, some don’t. Do I care? No. Are they awake? Probably not. Is it my job to wake them up? That depends. How do I wake them up? By loving myself as well as treating them as a human being. Do I treat myself and others with dignity and respect? I hope I do. If I don’t, then what am I doing here on the planet?

If I’m not contributing to the Universe and serving humanity, then what is the reason why I’m here on the planet? Oh sure, I have wants, needs and desires, just like everyone else. Some are being met and some are not. Should I complain? No. Do I complain? Yes. We all complain to some degree. When I remembered my oneness with humanity, the planet with her living creatures and the Universe, the need to complain dissipates.

I have every right to complain, but what purpose will it serve? I then become a patsy, serving only the illusion of separation. The illusion of separation is fear. FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real.

One of my favorite quotes is from the fictional character, Yoda from Starwars, he states: “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”

Here’s a question, does fear serves humanity? No. Does love serves humanity? Yes. I can draw a flow chart for you if you like. If you are stuck in fear, do you want to change? If you don’t, then why are you here? I held the belief since my spiritual awakening in 2004, we’ll either evolve or obliterate as a human species, the choice is ours. God Loving God, or, God Killing God. What will it be?

Again, the choice is we either take care of each other or we can go quietly into the night. You have the choice because you are God.

Another Dialog With Manasseh

Why do we have form? What is form?

Do you mean physical form?

Yes, our bodies, the earth, the mountains, the trees, the rivers, the oceans, the moon and the stars in the sky.

I think this physical form is called Love; A gift from the creator.

But, with this gift of physical form comes the issue of the ego. There are those who went power and dominion over this gift of creation. This causes fear, why? I want to understand what all this shit means.

This is a delicate three-way dance between the Creator, the Soul and the Ego.

Huh? Sounds like bullshit to me. Why do we have to have a god? I thought we were god.

Peter, I don’t think you have a grasp on this thing called life.

No, I don’t. I want to get laid, but women don’t desire my body. What gives?

Now we’re getting into petty issues. You’re not seeing the bigger picture here. This is not about you, or your appetite and desires.
This is nothing but a self-serving issue.

Then, how come we feel them in our bodies? The wants, needs and desires… Why do we have this mind-numbing bullshit?

This is a part of the human condition you need to learn to balance in life.

I don’t have any balance in my carnal life. I go from one extreme to the next. That’s how I am, I’m a man!

Yeah, I know. At least you are honest with yourself. Not many people are. When can we get back to your original question? What
does form mean to you, Peter?

OMG! That’s a loaded question. All I’d wanted was to be authentic with myself when I started this dialog.

Now, there’s a loaded statement. Real form is authenticity.

WTF? Where did that come from?

If you were enlightened, Peter, you would know real form is authenticity.

Are you calling me on my shit?

That is why you have consciousness. Real form or authenticity is use for right action, the way we conduct ourselves in this life.
Go ponder this in your next meditation. Post this to your blog, invite your friends in to the dialog.

Are you kidding? You want to post my most personal thoughts onto a public forum?

To be authentic is to be vulnerable. What’s wrong with revealing your authentic self to the world?

I must be crazy to put myself out there, exposed and naked.

You have a gift, Peter.

What’s that?

You know how to channeled the Divine. You Are God!

Evolve or Obliteration: Is God Mentally Ill?

After observing this world for nearly fifty-five solar years, I have come to the conclusion we are but light rays transformed brain cells inside the mind of God. There should be over a trillion of us brain cells of light, since there are only seven billion of us left, God must be near the end of his/her life spend.

Another observation is dealing with mental illness, there are some of us who want to murder the rest of us for thinking we are the cancer translating thinking we are better than you. Yes, we are killing parts of ourselves for reasons we don’t match up to the image we should be. Of course the ego will run from its shadow side as it has since the day we were told we were not good enough, we were not worthy to behold the light, which of course is a lied. This begs the question, is God mentally ill?

God is thinking, I can self-destruct or I can evolve. We have seen this scenario played out countless times in our own minds as content as books, movies and now as real-life media stories. How do we as human species wake up from the nightmare of separation and hate? Could it be as simply as shutting off the distractions of television, computer, and Smartphone devices? Could we see ourselves outside in nature, even meditating?

The question has entered my mind ever since I woke up and realized we are all one. Why does God want to kill him/her self? God killing God? The only answer I can find, we only can see God outside of ourselves. “Separate and alone we are,” as Master Yoda would say. Ever since the conception of modern day religion, we have been told, God is supreme, all-powerful, and dwells in the heavens. There’s a few of us who are blind to the idea of relinquish power and control for the freedom of flow shared compassion and the abundance of love for all beings.

The Universe is not what it’s seemed, there’s a Universe within a Universe within a Universe. It’s all connected, there’s no separation! The tipping point of consciousness is coming to a head as the year 2012 proceeds. The growing number of brain cells will continue demand the light of love, translated into basic human rights, clean air, clean water, healthy food, clothing, shelter, and community. If these basic rights are not met for all ascents beings, our civilization, as we know it, will collapse. War will ensue. The grate experiment will be over.

Each brain cell is responsible for its own evolution, its realm of creation. If not, cancer – I’m better than you, can occur. Will God heal him/her self, the planet? If not, self-destruct. God will put a gun to his/her head and pull the trigger; a massive meteorite will hit the earth. Lights out. The collective consciousness of the planet affects the consciousness of God. Know it or not, You Are God!

Incarnated Earth Angel Returns To The Beloved

Holding a hand of a dying friend put everything in prospective. As I looked around the large hospital cafeteria at the people have lunch on that surreal Sunday afternoon, the thought came into my head. “Religion has nothing to do with dying, but only Love and Service.”

As I reviewed the life of my friend, I couldn’t help but notice her life was all about giving and serving those less fortunate than her, she didn’t have much either, of which I never heard her complain about her predicament. As long as I have known her, she never moped about anything in her life. Yes, she was over weight, but that didn’t seem to bother her or slow her down.

She right out there, in our community among her friends, smiling and joking. She had a contagious laugh, which made you light up when your spirits were down. She loved to sing, especially in a group sing-a-long. I can always find her singing or humming with a smile on her face.

What set her apart was the way she dealt with people. Openly and honestly, she was in your face with your truth. She didn’t take any bullshit from anyone. The advised she give was intuitive and genuine. She always knew what to say to brighten your day.

If you had the good fortune to have know a soul such as hers, you would have counted yourself as blessed. She made you feel loved by the way she looked and spoke at you. You knew you were God’s child the very moment she enter your presence. She knew who she was, and she made sure you knew it too.

Today, she returned home to her Beloved. Amira Sue-Lin Simons 1951 - 2011

I Am As God Created Me! The Light. The Love. The Glory.

Last night, (July 9th) I had the opportunity of revisiting my “Shit”, my shadow side and all its projections and hypocrisy. I was reminded of all the “mind games” I would play in order to manipulate my way through life.

The feeling of insincerity filled my heart as I remembered a life of double standards and false pretense. It was difficult for me to scanned the “multi-culture hall” of my former life, which felt like a past life. I felt the shame, the ugliness and the discomfort of a life long since shun.

A voice inside my head told me to embrace it. The duality of separation of a false perception causes only inner turmoil. I sense my surroundings by embracing what is. I acknowledge it. I thank it for showing up. I release it. A sense of freedom filled my being. I was set free to express whom I am.

I am the Light. I am the Christ Consciousness. I am the healer of all my bodies on all levels. I am free to do what I damn will please. I am God.

The New Planet Earth - We are God Also

From Seth Garrison's Blog...

We are God, also. We are the creators of our own reality. I am God. You are God. God is in all of us. God is in all things. God is not some bearded entity in heaven that looks down upon us, pulling the strings of our life events, telling us which way to go and what to do and how to live.

The search for defining God has been a major focus since the beginning of recorded history. The consistent theme throughout has been that God was an entity outside of our selves that had control over every facet of nature and of human behavior.

Aboriginal cultures among others would assign a multiple of gods, each one in control of an aspect such as the wind, the sun, the water and so on. Yet all seemed to have had the concept of one supreme being or great spirit that would oversee all of creation.

One of the earliest uses of the one God concept was approximately 1500 B.C. when the Pharaoh Akhenaten united the Upper and Lower Nile Egyptians who worshipped a myriad of gods. Akhenaten outlawed the practice of polytheism, replacing it with the concept of monotheism. He used the image of the sun as God because he told them that the breath of life, the prana field, came from the sun. He was much hated by the priesthood of Egypt as they lost their power over the people by introducing this concept. Akhanaten told his people that "You don't need priests. God is within you." A concept way before its time and one that lasted a mere 17 years before the priests and the military poisoned him and reverted back to the worshipping of many gods.

The idea of one god was then revived by Abraham who is considered the father of monotheism. The experiences of Abraham are well documented in both the Torah and the Christian bibles but also the Holy Quaran makes mention of the God of Abraham being the same as the God of Muhammad. Hinduism when examined also has Abraham's son Isaac as a source for their belief in the unity of the "one."

To this day religions are based on the idea of "one god" that is outside of us and that controls all things.

The thought of us being God also is viewed as blasphemy in most religious doctrine today as that concept, if believed by its followers, would negate the power and control that is exercised by the various churches over us now. Sound similar to the priests of Egypt's attitude?

2000-2500 years ago Masters came onto earth for one purpose. To help us understand that God is indeed within us. Jesus, Lord Buddha and Muhammad, who basically covered all the peoples of the earth, gave us many similar messages of self-empowerment that told us that we were God. Organized religions have chosen to downplay these messages or to interpret them in ways that would cloud the meaning of them for the same reasons as previously mentioned.

Many "masters" since have given us the same messages through their music, art or writings, Notably St Francis of Assisi who said, "There are beautiful and wild forces within us." The Sufi poet Rumi,"If you put your soul against this oar with me, the power that made the universe will enter your sinew from a source not outside your limbs, but from a holy realm that lives within us." William Blake writes, "God became as were are, that we may be as he is. God is man and exists in us and we in him." There are hundreds of examples of this concept in ancient texts as well as all the holy texts of the world's religions.

In previous articles from this series I discussed Gregg Braden's God Code and the translating of the message from our DNA that God lies within. Replacing the four elements that make up all things, hydrogen, oxygen and nitrogen, which are all unseen and the one element, carbon, which has substance and can be seen, with the Hebrew or Arabic equivalents of the name of God adds further proof that God is within us. There is only one element different in our DNA than from the translated name of God in our DNA. That element is carbon, the element of substance. This gives new meaning to the words of Jesus in Corinthians; "Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that God dwelleth within you?" or in a later chapter of the same book, "Your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you." The element of carbon gives God the ability to be seen by each of us and to become the vessel in which to reside.

The point of all these quotations is to show that the concept that we are God is not a new one. The interpretation of the quotes brings out new meaning when looked at from the premise of this article.

We are approaching the next step in human evolution. We are remembering who we truly are. The idea that we are helpless puppets and need to follow the orders of the ones who know more or know what is good for us is coming to an end. The practice of following our inner guidance is replacing it. The knowledge that we are God is just one attribute that we will and are adopting right now to facilitate that step.

The proof is all around is, from the decrease in the attendance of churches that have traditionally preached to us how to live our lives to the gaining popularity of "new age" philosophies whose messages are one of self-empowerment. The shift is happening now.

The world census of 2000 revealed that 95% of us believe in a higher power of some description. We come into this world searching for the definition of God. Of who we are and why we are here. That search has taken all kinds of twists and turns in human history but I believe we are evolving into the knowing that we are God. That we have the ability to create whatever we choose for our selves. That heaven is not some place where God resides and where we go when we die, but that heaven is right here within us. Right here on our New Planet Earth.

A Gift From The Goddess

How do I begin this story? Manasseh, you take over and write. I don’t want to get in the way of what is a beautiful story.

First of all, let’s tell the story as it happen, than we’ll discuss all the thoughts and feelings surrounding the story. Remember, this is about you, not about her. This is medicine for your recovery.

Shell we begin? Peter, will you now present the story as it unfolded. I remind you to stay within your heart center chakra.


A Facebook message pops on to computer screen, “Peter, Would you be interested in some Goddess Loving attention?” I hesitated for moment not knowing what to think. I quickly type, “We’ll play it by ear when you get here.”

With my pounding, I decided I needed some fresh air. I pick up a load of garbage from my kitchen floor and headed out the door to the garbage bin located half way between my apartment building and the main road, where I catch the bus in the mornings to go to work. The round trip to the garbage bin and back is about five to seven minutes depending on how fast I walked.

Back in my apartment, my heart still pounding, my Monkey-mind racing and my stomach now growling, I made one slice of toast with peanut butter and threw it down my throat hoping it will settle my stomach. After cleaning up the kitchen, I headed in to the bedroom to make the bed. Seeing the crystals on the alter, I started meditating, which quieted the head as well as the heart. A few minutes later, there was a knock at my door.

I opened the door to find a familiar face smiling back at me. We hugged each other as I invited her inside. I don’t believe she has ever been inside my apartment. We caught up on each other lives as she sat in my old blue easy chair. After a few minutes of talking with me, she stands up and walked over to each altar in the living room to admire the crystal spheres.

I showed her the bedroom where more crystals were. After looking around at all the crystals on the altars, she laid down on the bed. Without any hesitating, my body naturally walks over to the opposite side of the bed and lays down beside her.

“Now that we’re here, what would you like to do?” She asked of me. I was totally flabbergasted by being under the spell of the Goddess. I didn’t know what to say. She put me at ease by stoking my hair and gently touching different parts of my body. She leans closer to me to kiss me.

“This is a gift from the Goddess.” She stated to me. She starts to undress me by unbuttoning my shirt. Than she went for my pants by undoing my belt. Before I knew it, I was lying naked beside her.

“Do you want me to take my clothes off or leave them on?” She asked. “Off!” came a nervous reply from my lips. She stood up and clothes went flying around the room. There we were, both of us naked on my bed. Is this a dream?

I was a witness to every curve of her beautiful Goddess shape body, the body type I’d most desire. I wanted so much to put my penis into her virgia and have erotic intercourse. Being so nervous, my body did not respond the way I wanted it to. No erection of the penis means no pleasure for the Goddess.

She just held me in an intimate embrace by snuggling. The feel of her skin against me was electrifying. Her touch was amazing blissful. As quickly as it started, it was over. She was dress and out the door to meet with family members before had a chance to say a proper good-bye. By the gift she gave me, she made me feel desirable.

One week later after my second encounter with the Goddess, I learned she has move on to another relationship. Yeah, it hurts.


Peter, do you want to discuss your thoughts and feelings around this story?

All of my thoughts and feelings are well documented on Facebook. A word about Facebook, a social networking tool that is a half billion strong, Facebook is very powerful and very dangerous tool if it gets into the hands of people with corrupt hearts, it can have devastating effect on people lives.


My first Facebook post following the encounter with Goddess:
My mind is freaking out... Yes, it is the monkey-mind at work. The only relief I have is to breathe and to meditate by staying in the moment.


I learn something about myself from this experience, I don’t think I can be poly or have an open relationship. I notice I feel jealousy and emotional pain when a partner wants to explore another relationship. This is evident by my Facebook status:
I hate this fuckin feeling inside of me!
Comment: Love it. Be with it. Explore it. Good luck!
My Comment: I must be alive, because I can feel it.
Comment: Yup. ☺
My Comment: You know what? It hurts.
Comment: Good noticing!
My Comment: I can feel! I can express!
Comment: Yay! You could also just feel. We get to decide what to do with our feelings! ☺
Good Facebook friends will call you on your shit.

This painful tirade almost sounds like Mel Gibson’s outburst. In the midst of my emotional pain, I unleash this comment:
When it comes to paying it forwards with affairs of the heart, you better fuckin mean it. This is my flaw. Now, I get to stay in this moment with a bruise heart.

In response to my insomnia and the bruise heart, I was invited by Spirit to blog as my medicine. If by chance, the Goddess shows up and invites me to dance with her again, I just may take her up on it, just to feel the excitement of that rollercoaster ride.

Yes, I manifested a lover for one special moment, to breathe and be in that sacred moment will be treasured and remembered forever. The pain will soon dissipate and I will be served with a memory. I am God.

Post Script: The first encounter with the Goddess, happen on a Sauvé’s Island beach, one year ago.

The Ecstasy Of Making Love To Sherri

It has been some time since I blog on my own blog. I posted on other sacred communities blogs, i.e. “We Are The Lovers”, (No longer accessible) “The Oneness Experiment”, (No longer accessible) and “Radical Man”, (A private and closed blog).

Tonight, I revisited the “You Are God” blog and it trigger an important, yet sacred dream I had earlier this month involving Sherri, my first wife, now decease. This special dream occurred the week of what would have been our 29th anniversary. I was privileged to share this dream with a friend and confidante earlier this week. The words she said and the things she told me intrigued me.

Many years have gone by since our divorce in 1988, and since that time, I’ve been a man with hidden rage. Yes, I am a man of cover up anger. The truth comes out and I am vulnerable.

In the early morning hours when most dreams occurred, I was making mad, passionate love to Sherri, a pleasantly plum, Goddess-shape body. The two parties were one flesh in throve in the act of love making, kissing each centimeter of the softest skin to touch.

I woke up to the alarm of the clock radio, in tears, I heard the words going from my heart to my head, “I forgive you, Sherri. I love you.” Oh My God! Did I just have a break through? Than came the memories of the sweetest, one hour bus ride home the very night I lost my virginity to my soon-to-be first wife. All I can think about was our two bodies being together.

One day, I was in ecstasy. The next day, I was sitting in shame in front of a Mormon Bishop. I asked my friend in confidante, why is it the male ego is eager to shame us when no harm was done, only a beautiful expressive act of love was preformed? Her answer was, they are cut off from Divine Feminine, which is the body.

If you want to have a love affaire with the Divine, you will not allow anyone to shame you. To love the Beloved Divine is to love the Self. You are the Beloved. You Are God.

She is Rev. Anakha Shannon Coman

Even though I am led by a “Higher Power” I called Manasseh, I find it necessary to have a spiritual adviser. I believe this notion extents from my many years in the LDS (Mormon) Church i.e., organized religion, where as each member had his/her spiritual adviser known as their Bishop, who would judge your spiritual worthiness.

The spiritual adviser I have now wouldn’t even begin to judge your spiritual worthiness. My spiritual adviser is a woman, which I never thought possible. LEC founder, Dr. Rev. Mary Manin Morrissey was never considered my spiritual adviser. Although, she was a woman who expounded truths, which resonated with my soul. Celebration Church founder, Rev. Barry Dennis is not my spiritual adviser either.

Just who is my spiritual adviser? A special woman who knows and understands unconditional love. She embodies love wherever she goes. She opens her mouth to speak and words of love come out.

Shawn Lawson Freeman, you lucky son-of-a-gun, (I wanted to use a different word that starts with a B) do you have any idea what you got? Could it be she is the persona of one of greatest spiritual teachers who ever live? She has daily communion with the Beloved. I can’t wait to get my hands on her forthcoming book. She is the founder of the FireHeart Sanctuary, my new church home.

She is the Soul of Oneness… She is Rev. Anakha Shannon Coman

The Soul of Oneness

The soul is made of love and must ever strive to return to love.
Therefore, it can never find rest nor happiness in other things.
It must lose itself in love. By its very nature it must seek God, who is love.
~ Mechthild of Magdenburg ~

Essential Practice: At the center of the soul of oneness is unconditional love. It is the lifeline that connects us; it is the blood that courses through our veins. It is our most powerful and most untapped resource and energy on the planet today. It is the fabric of our existence, it is who we are. To experience the soul of oneness requires that you give the most precious gift you can offer others and that is your unconditional presence. When you embrace others with mindfulness and unconditional love, they bloom, thrive and soar. Begin your day with connecting to your own presence, the soul of oneness, through silence and prayer. Remember that you are not what you do and you are not the various roles and activities that you will enact today. You are a soul living in this human experience. Connect with your soul with each breath. Fill yourself with God’s unconditional love, allowing it to infuse your heart, your body and your awareness. Know that in this present moment and in every moment, you are connected to the source of oneness and filled to overflowing with unconditional love. When you take time to become present with yourself, you will find that you naturally want to give the gift of your presence to others. Practice being in presence everywhere you are today and with everyone you meet. Receive each person as a gift from God sent to you as a messenger and a reminder to be present. Extend your love to each person by offering your unconditional presence. Listen beyond and between the words. Listen for the expression of love. Listen for the request for love. Listen for the soul of oneness. Today, your only purpose is to give this most magnificent gift of your own unguarded heart, your own unconditional presence. Tend to each person you meet as an extension of the soul of oneness. Remember that often what is most precious hides itself, the wild and tender things have retreated and will only reveal themselves to those who are present. Watch the preciousness unfold before you as you pay attention to what has heart and meaning moment to moment, person to person. This is the soul of oneness. Affirmation: I am powerfully present, tending to the soul of oneness and enfolding every person I meet with unconditional love.

Advise From A Higher Power

The following is a dialogue with Manasseh in a meditation on Monday night,

Sitting quietly with my thoughts drifting through my head until one thought arise and catches my attention.

Pete: “How do I receive intimacy without the ego getting involve or the fear of rejection?”

Manasseh: “Allow the love… The touch… The intimacy, you crave come to you. Do not go chasing after it, for you will never catch it or attain the kind of intimacy you desire.”

Peter: “I had an encounter on Sunday. It was beautiful.”

Manasseh: “I know you did. You made a heart and soul connection.”

Peter: “I did? I must admit, there wasn’t any physical attraction at first. The very moment I’d place my hands upon her skin, it was electric. It was ecstasy as I rub the oil over her body. I felt the smoothness and the warmth of her skin. I knew this was the intimacy I’d desire.”

Manasseh: “It was a special hour created by the Universe and your Guides and Angels who want you to know there is sacred intimacy and love for you.”

Peter: “Will I continue to have these encounters that turn out to be a one time moment, like the one I had in June?”

Manasseh: “These ‘Intimacy Encounters’ as you call them, are for your karmic growth… To reintroduce you to sacred manhood which is the interactions and the relationships between the divine masculine and the divine feminine… The way Karmic Lords intended men and women to have healthy relations.”

Peter: “Why can’t it be with one person the first time and not with different people?”

Manasseh: “Love is not exclusive… Love is all-inclusive. Peter, there is a problem with the society you live in. The people in your culture tend to pair up into monogamies relationships, which can create ego-base jealousy, eventually leads to murderous rampages that is so prevalent in today’s media.”

Peter: “I don’t understand how this can happen in a civilized society like ours…”

Manasseh: “The society you live in is far from being civilized, like that of indigenous and some Native America cultures, where they practice open-hearted love. Also known as poly or open relationship can greatly reduce the ego-base center individual. This society you live in, has it in their underdeveloped minds that their partner/spouse is the something as their material property.

The ego-minded individual is unable to share that which has been given to them by the Universe. The ego is a hog, which hoard everything he/she can get their hands on… ‘Mine, all mine… I will not share.’ Whither it money, property, power or fame, the ego of greed will lead to destruction.”

Peter: “There is so much fear in the world. Many are self-conscious and fearful they won’t get their faire share what they expect is theirs. The lost of their personal property, not to mention the lost of personal relationships can cause anxiety in any one of us. What can I do to reverse this trend of this consciousness?”

Manasseh: “Now, that is the sixty-four thousand dollar question… Sounds like a cliché. Several things can be done to heal the world… To heal this culture… Shine you light… Raise your vibration… Love yourself… Love your neighbor, are just the first steps.

Can you honestly look in the mirror at yourself, and say. I Love You, Peter? Take a journey to the darkness inside of you… What do you see? The fear… The insecurity… The lack… The abandonment… The abuse…The self-abuse… The shame… The injustice… The judgment… The pain… The emotional scars… The ugliness of your body… The ugliness of your mind… The ugliness of your heart… The numbing of your entire soul. Look at all of it, don’t turn away to hide… Take a good look at the shit you stuffed down for years.

Bring all that shit up and expose it to the light. Yes, you’re afraid. I know you’re scared. I will hold you with my love. I will love you forever. You can’t get rid of me. You and I are one. Together, we will transform into a beautiful butterfly. I will open my hand and you will feel the true power of your wings. I will set you free. You will flouter and flap your wings within the palm of my hand. You will lift and fly off into love’s beautiful sky. No one will ever shame you again. You will know true power and true freedom.

There is one more item to remember before I let you go. You must never forget all that was given to you from the Universe is to be share with your neighbor… Everyone you meet.

Be Well. Be Whole. Be Healed. Be Free.”

Past Life Visions

Circling around in the air through the mist of the clouds, a beautiful high waterfall comes into focus. The vision zooms closer on to the pond of clear water just below the waterfall as my attention is drawn to two people playing in the spray of mist. Upon closer inspection, as the vision closes in on the pond below, I took notice that the two people swimming in the pond were naked, a man and a woman, relatively young with vitality, making love in the spray.

The vision is beautiful to my heart, with its lush pristine landscape and lovemaking. The vision pans around to the mountainside as the vision continues, a mountain man dressed in old western garb, seems to have appears out of nowhere. The mountain man with his bushy beard stands high overhead on the cliff above, aims a shotgun at the two bodies below. He shoots. The sound of a rifle going off echoes through the air, red blood fills the waters around the two naked bodies. The woman floats lifeless as the man screams in horror.

Bullets now penetrate the waters around the man as he swims frantically to the nearby shoreline. He bounds on to the shore and disappears into the forest as a couple of bullets missed their intended target. The expression on the man’s face is one of sock, horrify and of devastation. The very thought of the lost of his beloved fills his mind and spilled into his heart as rage as runs naked through the woods.

Hours later he returns to the pond. In the twilight he reenters the waters of their once love-playing to retrieve the body of his beloved. He carries her gently and reverently as he sobs to their small cabin of their abode. He lovingly lays her cold lifeless body on to their bed of love. He undresses and lays down next her by spooning her as masculine sounds of sobs fills the darkness.

By early dawn he is found working on digging her grave. With sweat covering his face he digs until the sun is high in the sky. Without eating a meal he retreats to a small woodshed and starts working on a box. Taking wet mud from the ground he lined the cracks in the coffin shape box allowing the mud to dry in the afternoon sun. He takes the bed sheet from their bed of passion and lined her casket with the sheets. As the sun starts to sets, he dresses her slender body with long dark hair in a 1850s western style dress. By sundown, he carries her to a rustic looking wooden coffin behind the log cabin. He places her in the coffin; bow down to kiss her good bye one last time.

He places a wooden lid over her coffin and secures it. Jumping down into her grave he lifts with all of his strength the coffin into the ground, he can barely crawl from her grave. Standing upright, looking up to the heavens questioning what he knew was God why take away his lover. With rage filling his heart and soul vowing revenge he covered her grave with earth.

End of Vision.

The Manasseh Dreams have struck again. Gene, I think you are right… you may be on to something.

A woman in a yellow-framed wheelchair rolled up next to me. “I’ve been waiting for you.” She told me.

Who was this attractive, openhearted, middle-aged woman with the pale green eyes that sees down to the deaths of your soul? Every time she smiles, she can melt the iciness of the coldest of hearts.

“Huh? For me?” Flabbergasted, I blurted out, “You’re not real!”

She locked her wheelchair in place and then she gently lifted herself up out of the rolling chair, took two steps closer to me and plop herself down into my lap. I felt the sensation of the weight and the warmth of her body upon my lap… she felt very real. She put her right arm around my neck and with those pale green eyes of hers, stares into my eyes right down to the core of my being and simply reply, “Oh, I’m real alright.”

She than gently leans her head against my cheekbone as if she was at home with herself. Have you ever had a dream that felt so real, but you knew it was just a dream? “Okay, if you’re so real, than tell me your name.” I asked her. Never in a dream has a woman’s name been reveal until now.

“Chelsea, my name is Chelsea. But, I don’t like my name. You can call me… “ (POP) Dammed it… day light streams into my bedroom window. There, with my blankets huddle around my neck, staring at the trees outside my bedroom window.

I swear the dream felt so real… vivid in every color, detail in every action and motion, sensational in every feeling and emotion. I should’ve known it was all a dream with the violent sidebar of a ritual death, which seem surreal and its flake scenery that didn’t make any since.

The Love’s Elixir community may grow weary of my Manasseh dreams in my ego opinion I’m limiting it to the You Are God blog. I believe my inner lover has retired for the evening.

Christmas Dreams Of Wisdom

I had another one of mine “Manasseh” dreams during the night… a long, detail, vivid dream that leaves you exhausted by morning’s light.

A Mormon Church leader wanted to challenge me on my rebellious apostate attitude, by charging me with insufficient pure faith. In my dream, he declared, “Peter, you are unfit for the kingdom of God, because you lack the pure faith that the Son of Man died on the cross for our sins!”

In days leading up to this dream, I have been questioning my faith. What is faith? It seems to me I no longer believe in the traditional Christian Judaic way of life.

I was in a Portland park, as the dream continue, surrounded by a small band of riff-raft, no more than twelve, dress in raggedy old clothes, I was speaking my own brand of philosophy and religion to my little band of followers, “Why do you need salvation from someone who died on a cross, when you’re already made perfect in the image of your Creator?”

I notice a slender woman standing close to our little “Hippie church” in the park trying to listen in on what was being said. She was dress to the nines… expensive in taste of style of clothing, which did not fit the norm. In my dream, she had on a red satin mini dress covered by a thick fur coat and a fur head bun. Who was she and what was she doing at my little hippie church?

Was she the wife of the Mormon Church leader who earlier commended me, sent to spy on me? She followed us as we move through the park, stopping near a large nardly-twisted oak tree. One of my disciples started speaking, “Faith is knowing that the trees will grow… the sun will rise and set with each passing day… the rivers and streams will flow to the oceans. And the Universe will provide for all of your needs.”

The woman, who have been following us, came up to me and whisper in my ear, “Where do you learn such wisdom?”

The dream was over. I was here, alone in my bed, on Christmas morning. Something inside me told me to blog about this dream.

Where do we learn about such wisdom? To me, love is the wisdom.

Happy Birthday, Yeshua…

The Face Of Fear

Sleep evades me as a painted scenario unfolds within my mind’s eye. My mind is torture by thoughts of the pending realities created by years of self-neglect. After years of the lies, mental, emotional mutilation and abuse, the Cosmic Universe of cause and effect has run its course.

This blog is in no way intended for the eyes of the loving hearts of Elixir’s people who already step through the threshold of self-petty and have conquer their daemons. If some tread their way to this obscure blog, be ware… this is not going to be pretty.

Pictured the painted scenario starts out with heavy rains, gusty winds. The temperature starts to plummet, rain quickly turns to snow. Alone, on the streets of some distant state, a young woman, in her twenty-second of life is turned out by an abusive so-called lover.

With no one to turn to… her mother long since dead cause by spinal meningitis brought on by years of drug abuse… her father, emotionally detach, preoccupied by making a meager living so he would not be in fear of living on the streets. Yes, her father lives in fear, with the economy tanking, unmarketable by his physical condition, the lost of his job can be devastating.

Her siblings have disowned her due to issues of deceit. Her paternal grandparents refuse to acknowledge her existences. Her maternal grandmother, bitter by the deaths of her daughter and her husband, cannot deal with her granddaughter’s diminish mental and emotional capacity.

The lack of family, friends, shelter and income can have demoralizing effects on the intellect. What are the alternative choices she can make? With everything in her world conspires against her, she may feel she has but one option…

Check out…
Exit…
Terminate…
Suicide.

Awakening In Death

I am Manasseh. I am the prefect love of God. There is too much life force in this body to give up now. I have too much vital energy to throw in the towel.

My dad expressed to me, “The day I can no longer wipe my own butt is the day I pull the plug on my life.” Of course he express these sentiments back when I was still in my finite “Mormon” brain. In my limited understanding of the Right To Die, I rile against him. I demanded to know what gave him the right to played god with his life. Little did I know it was his God-given birthright to do this about anything he wanted to do with his life! My dad has made his life comfortable for himself and for those around him.

Today, I experience for the first time the Oregon Death with Dignity Act. A co-worker friend, a member of the Tigard Home Depot family, chose to take his own life. After a long illness with difficulties breathing and being in a great deal of physical pain, after Ronnie said his good-byes to family and friends, ended his life this morning. I observe somberness, sadness and disturbances in my co-workers this morning when it was announced Ronnie was gone. The disturbances in some of my co-workers who cannot accept the choice Ronnie had made reminded me of the time where I was many years ago. There were some co-workers who were close to Ronnie didn’t come in to work today couldn’t cope with his lost.

In my awakening, I have learned we have the God-given right to choose to end our life at a time when the life force is fading or when the physical body no longer function to serves it purpose in comfort without the use of drugs. I respect Ronnie’s choice and echo my dad’s sentiments, I will be damn if I let someone feed me or wipe my ass at the end of my life. I am no longer a Mormon; I do not need to suffer until the “bitter-shity” end, as Ronnie would say.

Brock Obama

I just watch Brock Obama 30 minute's speech. I had tears in my eyes. Oh my God! If this man is not elected President of United States of America, as a nation, we are in deep Shit.

Brock Obama, You Are God!

Peter's Truth Revealed

Peter jolted awakes gasping a breath of air. Looking around by cocking his head quickly back and forth.

Peter exclaims, “What happen? Where am I? Where is my beloved community? Where are my beloveds?”

Peter gets up and starts searching for his beloved community. He starts go into fear when he realized he couldn’t find them. He begins to gets upset and angry, thinking they’re avoiding him.

Two months go by with no contact from the Crucible community. Peter wonders if they have forgotten about him. Just as he about to lash out at the community of his longing, a faint and distinct echo enters his heart…

“You treat your daughter this way…”

Peter: “What…? Huh…? Manasseh?”

Manasseh: “Yes Peter, the way you treat your daughter is the way the Universe treats you. You ignore the calls from your baby girl, and the Universe which is your beloved community is going to ignore your calls.”

Peter: “I feel alone, isolated and shut down.”

Manasseh: “Don’t you think your daughter might be feeling the same way… alone, isolated and shut down?”

Peter: “What do I do? Anna-Marie was belligerent to me the last I spoke to her on the phone. I don’t want to talk to someone who is mean to me.”

Manasseh: “Now, you’re making up excuses.”

Peter: “She was degrading me as a human being. I’m not going to be her doormat. Why don’t I feel supported from my higher power?”

Manasseh: “Why don’t you ask for support from the Crucible community with communicating with your daughter?”

Peter: “I thought they’re ignoring me and didn’t want to speak to me until I made contact with Anna-Marie?”

Manasseh: “This is true. But, they are willing to help if you make an effort to follow through and complete your assignments. Speaking of completing your assignments, Gene is discouraged with you for not following through with your assignment with contacting the disable community. The Crucible community… Gene, Anakha and David do not feel the need to hang with someone who doesn’t follow their advice to make them a better person.”

Peter: “If I had made contact with the disable community of Portland, I would have been allowed admittance into the Crucible community?”

Manasseh: “That would have been a possibility. Peter, I don’t you realize you have a problem with finishing your tasks. You have a problem with doing your homework. In the Crucible, there was a lot of homework given out. People were expected to follow through on their tasks. Hell Peter, you didn’t even finish your work in the Mystical Activism community with Martie Geltz and Christine Carter. What makes you think the Crucible community wanted to admit you?”

Peter: “I hurt my knee. I hate doing homework. I think it’s a waste of time when I can do other things. I hate writing papers and doing research on things that do not interest me. I don’t like calling and talking to people on the phone.”

Manasseh: “These are all bullshit excuses. And the Crucible community doesn’t look too lightly on excuses. The Crucible community is all about commitment and following through on that commitment. For this very reason, you were not admitted into the Lover’s Crucible. You just found the answer to your question. As I told you before, we are not separated… We Are One in the same being.”

Manasseh: “Peter, I want to commend you and thank you for honoring your commitment to finishing and posting your blog by your birthday. Your friends, Jeff and Hans are on their way to your house to take you to the beach. Have a wonderful birthday, Peter. Remember, I love you. Your Angles and Guides love you.”