You Are God!

Incarnated Earth Angel Returns To The Beloved

2011-10-12T20:13:00.000-07:00

Holding a hand of a dying friend put everything in prospective. As I looked around the large hospital cafeteria at the people have lunch on that surreal Sunday afternoon, the thought came into my head. “Religion has nothing to do with dying, but only Love and Service.”

As I reviewed the life of my friend, I couldn’t help but notice her life was all about giving and serving those less fortunate than her, she didn’t have much either, of which I never heard her complain about her predicament. As long as I have known her, she never moped about anything in her life. Yes, she was over weight, but that didn’t seem to bother her or slow her down.

She right out there, in our community among her friends, smiling and joking. She had a contagious laugh, which made you light up when your spirits were down. She loved to sing, especially in a group sing-a-long. I can always find her singing or humming with a smile on her face.

What set her apart was the way she dealt with people. Openly and honestly, she was in your face with your truth. She didn’t take any bullshit from anyone. The advised she give was intuitive and genuine. She always knew what to say to brighten your day.

If you had the good fortune to have know a soul such as hers, you would have counted yourself as blessed. She made you feel loved by the way she looked and spoke at you. You knew you were God’s child the very moment she enter your presence. She knew who she was, and she made sure you knew it too.

Today, she returned home to her Beloved. Amira Sue-Lin Simons 1951 - 2011

I Am As God Created Me! The Light. The Love. The Glory.

2011-07-10T08:40:00.000-07:00

Last night, (July 9th) I had the opportunity of revisiting my “Shit”, my shadow side and all its projections and hypocrisy. I was reminded of all the “mind games” I would play in order to manipulate my way through life.

The feeling of insincerity filled my heart as I remembered a life of double standards and false pretense. It was difficult for me to scanned the “multi-culture hall” of my former life, which felt like a past life. I felt the shame, the ugliness and the discomfort of a life long since shun.

A voice inside my head told me to embrace it. The duality of separation of a false perception causes only inner turmoil. I sense my surroundings by embracing what is. I acknowledge it. I thank it for showing up. I release it. A sense of freedom filled my being. I was set free to express whom I am.

I am the Light. I am the Christ Consciousness. I am the healer of all my bodies on all levels. I am free to do what I damn will please. I am God.

The New Planet Earth - We are God Also

2010-10-01T15:29:00.001-07:00

From Seth Garrison's Blog...

We are God, also. We are the creators of our own reality. I am God. You are God. God is in all of us. God is in all things. God is not some bearded entity in heaven that looks down upon us, pulling the strings of our life events, telling us which way to go and what to do and how to live.

The search for defining God has been a major focus since the beginning of recorded history. The consistent theme throughout has been that God was an entity outside of our selves that had control over every facet of nature and of human behavior.

Aboriginal cultures among others would assign a multiple of gods, each one in control of an aspect such as the wind, the sun, the water and so on. Yet all seemed to have had the concept of one supreme being or great spirit that would oversee all of creation.

One of the earliest uses of the one God concept was approximately 1500 B.C. when the Pharaoh Akhenaten united the Upper and Lower Nile Egyptians who worshipped a myriad of gods. Akhenaten outlawed the practice of polytheism, replacing it with the concept of monotheism. He used the image of the sun as God because he told them that the breath of life, the prana field, came from the sun. He was much hated by the priesthood of Egypt as they lost their power over the people by introducing this concept. Akhanaten told his people that "You don't need priests. God is within you." A concept way before its time and one that lasted a mere 17 years before the priests and the military poisoned him and reverted back to the worshipping of many gods.

The idea of one god was then revived by Abraham who is considered the father of monotheism. The experiences of Abraham are well documented in both the Torah and the Christian bibles but also the Holy Quaran makes mention of the God of Abraham being the same as the God of Muhammad. Hinduism when examined also has Abraham's son Isaac as a source for their belief in the unity of the "one."

To this day religions are based on the idea of "one god" that is outside of us and that controls all things.

The thought of us being God also is viewed as blasphemy in most religious doctrine today as that concept, if believed by its followers, would negate the power and control that is exercised by the various churches over us now. Sound similar to the priests of Egypt's attitude?

2000-2500 years ago Masters came onto earth for one purpose. To help us understand that God is indeed within us. Jesus, Lord Buddha and Muhammad, who basically covered all the peoples of the earth, gave us many similar messages of self-empowerment that told us that we were God. Organized religions have chosen to downplay these messages or to interpret them in ways that would cloud the meaning of them for the same reasons as previously mentioned.

Many "masters" since have given us the same messages through their music, art or writings, Notably St Francis of Assisi who said, "There are beautiful and wild forces within us." The Sufi poet Rumi,"If you put your soul against this oar with me, the power that made the universe will enter your sinew from a source not outside your limbs, but from a holy realm that lives within us." William Blake writes, "God became as were are, that we may be as he is. God is man and exists in us and we in him." There are hundreds of examples of this concept in ancient texts as well as all the holy texts of the world's religions.

In previous articles from this series I discussed Gregg Braden's God Code and the translating of the message from our DNA that God lies within. Replacing the four elements that make up all things, hydrogen, oxygen and nitrogen, which are all unseen and the one element, carbon, which has substance and can be seen, with the Hebrew or Arabic equivalents of the name of God adds further proof that God is within us. There is only one element different in our DNA than from the translated name of God in our DNA. That element is carbon, the element of substance. This gives new meaning to the words of Jesus in Corinthians; "Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that God dwelleth within you?" or in a later chapter of the same book, "Your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you." The element of carbon gives God the ability to be seen by each of us and to become the vessel in which to reside.

The point of all these quotations is to show that the concept that we are God is not a new one. The interpretation of the quotes brings out new meaning when looked at from the premise of this article.

We are approaching the next step in human evolution. We are remembering who we truly are. The idea that we are helpless puppets and need to follow the orders of the ones who know more or know what is good for us is coming to an end. The practice of following our inner guidance is replacing it. The knowledge that we are God is just one attribute that we will and are adopting right now to facilitate that step.

The proof is all around is, from the decrease in the attendance of churches that have traditionally preached to us how to live our lives to the gaining popularity of "new age" philosophies whose messages are one of self-empowerment. The shift is happening now.

The world census of 2000 revealed that 95% of us believe in a higher power of some description. We come into this world searching for the definition of God. Of who we are and why we are here. That search has taken all kinds of twists and turns in human history but I believe we are evolving into the knowing that we are God. That we have the ability to create whatever we choose for our selves. That heaven is not some place where God resides and where we go when we die, but that heaven is right here within us. Right here on our New Planet Earth.

A Gift From The Goddess

2010-07-27T09:31:00.000-07:00

How do I begin this story? Manasseh, you take over and write. I don’t want to get in the way of what is a beautiful story.

First of all, let’s tell the story as it happen, than we’ll discuss all the thoughts and feelings surrounding the story. Remember, this is about you, not about her. This is medicine for your recovery.

Shell we begin? Peter, will you now present the story as it unfolded. I remind you to stay within your heart center chakra.

A Facebook message pops on to computer screen, “Peter, Would you be interested in some Goddess Loving attention?” I hesitated for moment not knowing what to think. I quickly type, “We’ll play it by ear when you get here.”

With my pounding, I decided I needed some fresh air. I pick up a load of garbage from my kitchen floor and headed out the door to the garbage bin located half way between my apartment building and the main road, where I catch the bus in the mornings to go to work. The round trip to the garbage bin and back is about five to seven minutes depending on how fast I walked.

Back in my apartment, my heart still pounding, my Monkey-mind racing and my stomach now growling, I made one slice of toast with peanut butter and threw it down my throat hoping it will settle my stomach. After cleaning up the kitchen, I headed in to the bedroom to make the bed. Seeing the crystals on the alter, I started meditating, which quieted the head as well as the heart. A few minutes later, there was a knock at my door.

I opened the door to find a familiar face smiling back at me. We hugged each other as I invited her inside. I don’t believe she has ever been inside my apartment. We caught up on each other lives as she sat in my old blue easy chair. After a few minutes of talking with me, she stands up and walked over to each altar in the living room to admire the crystal spheres.

I showed her the bedroom where more crystals were. After looking around at all the crystals on the altars, she laid down on the bed. Without any hesitating, my body naturally walks over to the opposite side of the bed and lays down beside her.

“Now that we’re here, what would you like to do?” She asked of me. I was totally flabbergasted by being under the spell of the Goddess. I didn’t know what to say. She put me at ease by stoking my hair and gently touching different parts of my body. She leans closer to me to kiss me.

“This is a gift from the Goddess.” She stated to me. She starts to undress me by unbuttoning my shirt. Than she went for my pants by undoing my belt. Before I knew it, I was lying naked beside her.

“Do you want me to take my clothes off or leave them on?” She asked. “Off!” came a nervous reply from my lips. She stood up and clothes went flying around the room. There we were, both of us naked on my bed. Is this a dream?

I was a witness to every curve of her beautiful Goddess shape body, the body type I’d most desire. I wanted so much to put my penis into her virgia and have erotic intercourse. Being so nervous, my body did not respond the way I wanted it to. No erection of the penis means no pleasure for the Goddess.

She just held me in an intimate embrace by snuggling. The feel of her skin against me was electrifying. Her touch was amazing blissful. As quickly as it started, it was over. She was dress and out the door to meet with family members before had a chance to say a proper good-bye. By the gift she gave me, she made me feel desirable.

One week later after my second encounter with the Goddess, I learned she has move on to another relationship. Yeah, it hurts.

Peter, do you want to discuss your thoughts and feelings around this story?

All of my thoughts and feelings are well documented on Facebook. A word about Facebook, a social networking tool that is a half billion strong, Facebook is very powerful and very dangerous tool if it gets into the hands of people with corrupt hearts, it can have devastating effect on people lives.

My first Facebook post following the encounter with Goddess:
My mind is freaking out... Yes, it is the monkey-mind at work. The only relief I have is to breathe and to meditate by staying in the moment.

I learn something about myself from this experience, I don’t think I can be poly or have an open relationship. I notice I feel jealousy and emotional pain when a partner wants to explore another relationship. This is evident by my Facebook status:
I hate this fuckin feeling inside of me!
Comment: Love it. Be with it. Explore it. Good luck!
My Comment: I must be alive, because I can feel it.
Comment: Yup. ☺
My Comment: You know what? It hurts.
Comment: Good noticing!
My Comment: I can feel! I can express!
Comment: Yay! You could also just feel. We get to decide what to do with our feelings! ☺
Good Facebook friends will call you on your shit.

This painful tirade almost sounds like Mel Gibson’s outburst. In the midst of my emotional pain, I unleash this comment:
When it comes to paying it forwards with affairs of the heart, you better fuckin mean it. This is my flaw. Now, I get to stay in this moment with a bruise heart.

In response to my insomnia and the bruise heart, I was invited by Spirit to blog as my medicine. If by chance, the Goddess shows up and invites me to dance with her again, I just may take her up on it, just to feel the excitement of that rollercoaster ride.

Yes, I manifested a lover for one special moment, to breathe and be in that sacred moment will be treasured and remembered forever. The pain will soon dissipate and I will be served with a memory. I am God.

Post Script: The first encounter with the Goddess, happen on a Sauvé’s Island beach, one year ago.

The Ecstasy Of Making Love To Sherri

2010-04-30T21:30:00.000-07:00

It has been some time since I blog on my own blog. I posted on other sacred communities blogs, i.e. “We Are The Lovers”, (No longer accessible) “The Oneness Experiment”, (No longer accessible) and “Radical Man”, (A private and closed blog).

Tonight, I revisited the “You Are God” blog and it trigger an important, yet sacred dream I had earlier this month involving Sherri, my first wife, now decease. This special dream occurred the week of what would have been our 29th anniversary. I was privileged to share this dream with a friend and confidante earlier this week. The words she said and the things she told me intrigued me.

Many years have gone by since our divorce in 1988, and since that time, I’ve been a man with hidden rage. Yes, I am a man of cover up anger. The truth comes out and I am vulnerable.

In the early morning hours when most dreams occurred, I was making mad, passionate love to Sherri, a pleasantly plum, Goddess-shape body. The two parties were one flesh in throve in the act of love making, kissing each centimeter of the softest skin to touch.

I woke up to the alarm of the clock radio, in tears, I heard the words going from my heart to my head, “I forgive you, Sherri. I love you.” Oh My God! Did I just have a break through? Than came the memories of the sweetest, one hour bus ride home the very night I lost my virginity to my soon-to-be first wife. All I can think about was our two bodies being together.

One day, I was in ecstasy. The next day, I was sitting in shame in front of a Mormon Bishop. I asked my friend in confidante, why is it the male ego is eager to shame us when no harm was done, only a beautiful expressive act of love was preformed? Her answer was, they are cut off from Divine Feminine, which is the body.

If you want to have a love affaire with the Divine, you will not allow anyone to shame you. To love the Beloved Divine is to love the Self. You are the Beloved. You Are God.

She is Rev. Anakha Shannon Coman

2009-08-25T18:45:00.000-07:00

Even though I am led by a “Higher Power” I called Manasseh, I find it necessary to have a spiritual adviser. I believe this notion extents from my many years in the LDS (Mormon) Church i.e., organized religion, where as each member had his/her spiritual adviser known as their Bishop, who would judge your spiritual worthiness.

The spiritual adviser I have now wouldn’t even begin to judge your spiritual worthiness. My spiritual adviser is a woman, which I never thought possible. LEC founder, Dr. Rev. Mary Manin Morrissey was never considered my spiritual adviser. Although, she was a woman who expounded truths, which resonated with my soul. Celebration Church founder, Rev. Barry Dennis is not my spiritual adviser either.

Just who is my spiritual adviser? A special woman who knows and understands unconditional love. She embodies love wherever she goes. She opens her mouth to speak and words of love come out.

Shawn Lawson Freeman, you lucky son-of-a-gun, (I wanted to use a different word that starts with a B) do you have any idea what you got? Could it be she is the persona of one of greatest spiritual teachers who ever live? She has daily communion with the Beloved. I can’t wait to get my hands on her forthcoming book. She is the founder of the FireHeart Sanctuary, my new church home.

She is the Soul of Oneness… She is Rev. Anakha Shannon Coman

The Soul of Oneness

The soul is made of love and must ever strive to return to love. Therefore, it can never find rest nor happiness in other things. It must lose itself in love. By its very nature it must seek God, who is love. ~ Mechthild of Magdenburg ~

Essential Practice: At the center of the soul of oneness is unconditional love. It is the lifeline that connects us; it is the blood that courses through our veins. It is our most powerful and most untapped resource and energy on the planet today. It is the fabric of our existence, it is who we are. To experience the soul of oneness requires that you give the most precious gift you can offer others and that is your unconditional presence. When you embrace others with mindfulness and unconditional love, they bloom, thrive and soar. Begin your day with connecting to your own presence, the soul of oneness, through silence and prayer. Remember that you are not what you do and you are not the various roles and activities that you will enact today. You are a soul living in this human experience. Connect with your soul with each breath. Fill yourself with God’s unconditional love, allowing it to infuse your heart, your body and your awareness. Know that in this present moment and in every moment, you are connected to the source of oneness and filled to overflowing with unconditional love. When you take time to become present with yourself, you will find that you naturally want to give the gift of your presence to others. Practice being in presence everywhere you are today and with everyone you meet. Receive each person as a gift from God sent to you as a messenger and a reminder to be present. Extend your love to each person by offering your unconditional presence. Listen beyond and between the words. Listen for the expression of love. Listen for the request for love. Listen for the soul of oneness. Today, your only purpose is to give this most magnificent gift of your own unguarded heart, your own unconditional presence. Tend to each person you meet as an extension of the soul of oneness. Remember that often what is most precious hides itself, the wild and tender things have retreated and will only reveal themselves to those who are present. Watch the preciousness unfold before you as you pay attention to what has heart and meaning moment to moment, person to person. This is the soul of oneness. Affirmation: I am powerfully present, tending to the soul of oneness and enfolding every person I meet with unconditional love.

Advise From A Higher Power

2009-08-25T12:58:00.000-07:00

The following is a dialogue with Manasseh in a meditation on Monday night,

Sitting quietly with my thoughts drifting through my head until one thought arise and catches my attention.

Pete: “How do I receive intimacy without the ego getting involve or the fear of rejection?”

Manasseh: “Allow the love… The touch… The intimacy, you crave come to you. Do not go chasing after it, for you will never catch it or attain the kind of intimacy you desire.”

Peter: “I had an encounter on Sunday. It was beautiful.”

Manasseh: “I know you did. You made a heart and soul connection.”

Peter: “I did? I must admit, there wasn’t any physical attraction at first. The very moment I’d place my hands upon her skin, it was electric. It was ecstasy as I rub the oil over her body. I felt the smoothness and the warmth of her skin. I knew this was the intimacy I’d desire.”

Manasseh: “It was a special hour created by the Universe and your Guides and Angels who want you to know there is sacred intimacy and love for you.”

Peter: “Will I continue to have these encounters that turn out to be a one time moment, like the one I had in June?”

Manasseh: “These ‘Intimacy Encounters’ as you call them, are for your karmic growth… To reintroduce you to sacred manhood which is the interactions and the relationships between the divine masculine and the divine feminine… The way Karmic Lords intended men and women to have healthy relations.”

Peter: “Why can’t it be with one person the first time and not with different people?”

Manasseh: “Love is not exclusive… Love is all-inclusive. Peter, there is a problem with the society you live in. The people in your culture tend to pair up into monogamies relationships, which can create ego-base jealousy, eventually leads to murderous rampages that is so prevalent in today’s media.”

Peter: “I don’t understand how this can happen in a civilized society like ours…”

Manasseh: “The society you live in is far from being civilized, like that of indigenous and some Native America cultures, where they practice open-hearted love. Also known as poly or open relationship can greatly reduce the ego-base center individual. This society you live in, has it in their underdeveloped minds that their partner/spouse is the something as their material property.

The ego-minded individual is unable to share that which has been given to them by the Universe. The ego is a hog, which hoard everything he/she can get their hands on… ‘Mine, all mine… I will not share.’ Whither it money, property, power or fame, the ego of greed will lead to destruction.”

Peter: “There is so much fear in the world. Many are self-conscious and fearful they won’t get their faire share what they expect is theirs. The lost of their personal property, not to mention the lost of personal relationships can cause anxiety in any one of us. What can I do to reverse this trend of this consciousness?”

Manasseh: “Now, that is the sixty-four thousand dollar question… Sounds like a cliché. Several things can be done to heal the world… To heal this culture… Shine you light… Raise your vibration… Love yourself… Love your neighbor, are just the first steps.

Can you honestly look in the mirror at yourself, and say. I Love You, Peter? Take a journey to the darkness inside of you… What do you see? The fear… The insecurity… The lack… The abandonment… The abuse…The self-abuse… The shame… The injustice… The judgment… The pain… The emotional scars… The ugliness of your body… The ugliness of your mind… The ugliness of your heart… The numbing of your entire soul. Look at all of it, don’t turn away to hide… Take a good look at the shit you stuffed down for years.

Bring all that shit up and expose it to the light. Yes, you’re afraid. I know you’re scared. I will hold you with my love. I will love you forever. You can’t get rid of me. You and I are one. Together, we will transform into a beautiful butterfly. I will open my hand and you will feel the true power of your wings. I will set you free. You will flouter and flap your wings within the palm of my hand. You will lift and fly off into love’s beautiful sky. No one will ever shame you again. You will know true power and true freedom.

There is one more item to remember before I let you go. You must never forget all that was given to you from the Universe is to be share with your neighbor… Everyone you meet.

Be Well. Be Whole. Be Healed. Be Free.”

Past Life Visions

2009-06-24T13:27:00.000-07:00

Circling around in the air through the mist of the clouds, a beautiful high waterfall comes into focus. The vision zooms closer on to the pond of clear water just below the waterfall as my attention is drawn to two people playing in the spray of mist. Upon closer inspection, as the vision closes in on the pond below, I took notice that the two people swimming in the pond were naked, a man and a woman, relatively young with vitality, making love in the spray.

The vision is beautiful to my heart, with its lush pristine landscape and lovemaking. The vision pans around to the mountainside as the vision continues, a mountain man dressed in old western garb, seems to have appears out of nowhere. The mountain man with his bushy beard stands high overhead on the cliff above, aims a shotgun at the two bodies below. He shoots. The sound of a rifle going off echoes through the air, red blood fills the waters around the two naked bodies. The woman floats lifeless as the man screams in horror.

Bullets now penetrate the waters around the man as he swims frantically to the nearby shoreline. He bounds on to the shore and disappears into the forest as a couple of bullets missed their intended target. The expression on the man’s face is one of sock, horrify and of devastation. The very thought of the lost of his beloved fills his mind and spilled into his heart as rage as runs naked through the woods.

Hours later he returns to the pond. In the twilight he reenters the waters of their once love-playing to retrieve the body of his beloved. He carries her gently and reverently as he sobs to their small cabin of their abode. He lovingly lays her cold lifeless body on to their bed of love. He undresses and lays down next her by spooning her as masculine sounds of sobs fills the darkness.

By early dawn he is found working on digging her grave. With sweat covering his face he digs until the sun is high in the sky. Without eating a meal he retreats to a small woodshed and starts working on a box. Taking wet mud from the ground he lined the cracks in the coffin shape box allowing the mud to dry in the afternoon sun. He takes the bed sheet from their bed of passion and lined her casket with the sheets. As the sun starts to sets, he dresses her slender body with long dark hair in a 1850s western style dress. By sundown, he carries her to a rustic looking wooden coffin behind the log cabin. He places her in the coffin; bow down to kiss her good bye one last time.

He places a wooden lid over her coffin and secures it. Jumping down into her grave he lifts with all of his strength the coffin into the ground, he can barely crawl from her grave. Standing upright, looking up to the heavens questioning what he knew was God why take away his lover. With rage filling his heart and soul vowing revenge he covered her grave with earth.

End of Vision.

2008-12-28T23:05:00.000-08:00

The Manasseh Dreams have struck again. Gene, I think you are right… you may be on to something.

A woman in a yellow-framed wheelchair rolled up next to me. “I’ve been waiting for you.” She told me.

Who was this attractive, openhearted, middle-aged woman with the pale green eyes that sees down to the deaths of your soul? Every time she smiles, she can melt the iciness of the coldest of hearts.

“Huh? For me?” Flabbergasted, I blurted out, “You’re not real!”

She locked her wheelchair in place and then she gently lifted herself up out of the rolling chair, took two steps closer to me and plop herself down into my lap. I felt the sensation of the weight and the warmth of her body upon my lap… she felt very real. She put her right arm around my neck and with those pale green eyes of hers, stares into my eyes right down to the core of my being and simply reply, “Oh, I’m real alright.”

She than gently leans her head against my cheekbone as if she was at home with herself. Have you ever had a dream that felt so real, but you knew it was just a dream? “Okay, if you’re so real, than tell me your name.” I asked her. Never in a dream has a woman’s name been reveal until now.

“Chelsea, my name is Chelsea. But, I don’t like my name. You can call me… “ (POP) Dammed it… day light streams into my bedroom window. There, with my blankets huddle around my neck, staring at the trees outside my bedroom window.

I swear the dream felt so real… vivid in every color, detail in every action and motion, sensational in every feeling and emotion. I should’ve known it was all a dream with the violent sidebar of a ritual death, which seem surreal and its flake scenery that didn’t make any since.

The Love’s Elixir community may grow weary of my Manasseh dreams in my ego opinion I’m limiting it to the You Are God blog. I believe my inner lover has retired for the evening.

Christmas Dreams Of Wisdom

2008-12-25T12:17:00.000-08:00

I had another one of mine “Manasseh” dreams during the night… a long, detail, vivid dream that leaves you exhausted by morning’s light.

A Mormon Church leader wanted to challenge me on my rebellious apostate attitude, by charging me with insufficient pure faith. In my dream, he declared, “Peter, you are unfit for the kingdom of God, because you lack the pure faith that the Son of Man died on the cross for our sins!”

In days leading up to this dream, I have been questioning my faith. What is faith? It seems to me I no longer believe in the traditional Christian Judaic way of life.

I was in a Portland park, as the dream continue, surrounded by a small band of riff-raft, no more than twelve, dress in raggedy old clothes, I was speaking my own brand of philosophy and religion to my little band of followers, “Why do you need salvation from someone who died on a cross, when you’re already made perfect in the image of your Creator?”

I notice a slender woman standing close to our little “Hippie church” in the park trying to listen in on what was being said. She was dress to the nines… expensive in taste of style of clothing, which did not fit the norm. In my dream, she had on a red satin mini dress covered by a thick fur coat and a fur head bun. Who was she and what was she doing at my little hippie church?

Was she the wife of the Mormon Church leader who earlier commended me, sent to spy on me? She followed us as we move through the park, stopping near a large nardly-twisted oak tree. One of my disciples started speaking, “Faith is knowing that the trees will grow… the sun will rise and set with each passing day… the rivers and streams will flow to the oceans. And the Universe will provide for all of your needs.”

The woman, who have been following us, came up to me and whisper in my ear, “Where do you learn such wisdom?”

The dream was over. I was here, alone in my bed, on Christmas morning. Something inside me told me to blog about this dream.

Where do we learn about such wisdom? To me, love is the wisdom.

Happy Birthday, Yeshua…

The Face Of Fear

2008-12-12T20:18:00.000-08:00

Sleep evades me as a painted scenario unfolds within my mind’s eye. My mind is torture by thoughts of the pending realities created by years of self-neglect. After years of the lies, mental, emotional mutilation and abuse, the Cosmic Universe of cause and effect has run its course.

This blog is in no way intended for the eyes of the loving hearts of Elixir’s people who already step through the threshold of self-petty and have conquer their daemons. If some tread their way to this obscure blog, be ware… this is not going to be pretty.

Pictured the painted scenario starts out with heavy rains, gusty winds. The temperature starts to plummet, rain quickly turns to snow. Alone, on the streets of some distant state, a young woman, in her twenty-second of life is turned out by an abusive so-called lover.

With no one to turn to… her mother long since dead cause by spinal meningitis brought on by years of drug abuse… her father, emotionally detach, preoccupied by making a meager living so he would not be in fear of living on the streets. Yes, her father lives in fear, with the economy tanking, unmarketable by his physical condition, the lost of his job can be devastating.

Her siblings have disowned her due to issues of deceit. Her paternal grandparents refuse to acknowledge her existences. Her maternal grandmother, bitter by the deaths of her daughter and her husband, cannot deal with her granddaughter’s diminish mental and emotional capacity.

The lack of family, friends, shelter and income can have demoralizing effects on the intellect. What are the alternative choices she can make? With everything in her world conspires against her, she may feel she has but one option…

Check out…
Exit…
Terminate…
Suicide.

Awakening In Death

2008-11-22T20:39:00.000-08:00

I am Manasseh. I am the prefect love of God. There is too much life force in this body to give up now. I have too much vital energy to throw in the towel.

My dad expressed to me, “The day I can no longer wipe my own butt is the day I pull the plug on my life.” Of course he express these sentiments back when I was still in my finite “Mormon” brain. In my limited understanding of the Right To Die, I rile against him. I demanded to know what gave him the right to played god with his life. Little did I know it was his God-given birthright to do this about anything he wanted to do with his life! My dad has made his life comfortable for himself and for those around him.

Today, I experience for the first time the Oregon Death with Dignity Act. A co-worker friend, a member of the Tigard Home Depot family, chose to take his own life. After a long illness with difficulties breathing and being in a great deal of physical pain, after Ronnie said his good-byes to family and friends, ended his life this morning. I observe somberness, sadness and disturbances in my co-workers this morning when it was announced Ronnie was gone. The disturbances in some of my co-workers who cannot accept the choice Ronnie had made reminded me of the time where I was many years ago. There were some co-workers who were close to Ronnie didn’t come in to work today couldn’t cope with his lost.

In my awakening, I have learned we have the God-given right to choose to end our life at a time when the life force is fading or when the physical body no longer function to serves it purpose in comfort without the use of drugs. I respect Ronnie’s choice and echo my dad’s sentiments, I will be damn if I let someone feed me or wipe my ass at the end of my life. I am no longer a Mormon; I do not need to suffer until the “bitter-shity” end, as Ronnie would say.

Brock Obama

2008-10-29T20:38:00.000-07:00

I just watch Brock Obama 30 minute's speech. I had tears in my eyes. Oh my God! If this man is not elected President of United States of America, as a nation, we are in deep Shit.

Brock Obama, You Are God!

Peter's Truth Revealed

2008-10-01T10:53:00.000-07:00

Peter jolted awakes gasping a breath of air. Looking around by cocking his head quickly back and forth.

Peter exclaims, “What happen? Where am I? Where is my beloved community? Where are my beloveds?”

Peter gets up and starts searching for his beloved community. He starts go into fear when he realized he couldn’t find them. He begins to gets upset and angry, thinking they’re avoiding him.

Two months go by with no contact from the Crucible community. Peter wonders if they have forgotten about him. Just as he about to lash out at the community of his longing, a faint and distinct echo enters his heart…

“You treat your daughter this way…”

Peter: “What…? Huh…? Manasseh?”

Manasseh: “Yes Peter, the way you treat your daughter is the way the Universe treats you. You ignore the calls from your baby girl, and the Universe which is your beloved community is going to ignore your calls.”

Peter: “I feel alone, isolated and shut down.”

Manasseh: “Don’t you think your daughter might be feeling the same way… alone, isolated and shut down?”

Peter: “What do I do? Anna-Marie was belligerent to me the last I spoke to her on the phone. I don’t want to talk to someone who is mean to me.”

Manasseh: “Now, you’re making up excuses.”

Peter: “She was degrading me as a human being. I’m not going to be her doormat. Why don’t I feel supported from my higher power?”

Manasseh: “Why don’t you ask for support from the Crucible community with communicating with your daughter?”

Peter: “I thought they’re ignoring me and didn’t want to speak to me until I made contact with Anna-Marie?”

Manasseh: “This is true. But, they are willing to help if you make an effort to follow through and complete your assignments. Speaking of completing your assignments, Gene is discouraged with you for not following through with your assignment with contacting the disable community. The Crucible community… Gene, Anakha and David do not feel the need to hang with someone who doesn’t follow their advice to make them a better person.”

Peter: “If I had made contact with the disable community of Portland, I would have been allowed admittance into the Crucible community?”

Manasseh: “That would have been a possibility. Peter, I don’t you realize you have a problem with finishing your tasks. You have a problem with doing your homework. In the Crucible, there was a lot of homework given out. People were expected to follow through on their tasks. Hell Peter, you didn’t even finish your work in the Mystical Activism community with Martie Geltz and Christine Carter. What makes you think the Crucible community wanted to admit you?”

Peter: “I hurt my knee. I hate doing homework. I think it’s a waste of time when I can do other things. I hate writing papers and doing research on things that do not interest me. I don’t like calling and talking to people on the phone.”

Manasseh: “These are all bullshit excuses. And the Crucible community doesn’t look too lightly on excuses. The Crucible community is all about commitment and following through on that commitment. For this very reason, you were not admitted into the Lover’s Crucible. You just found the answer to your question. As I told you before, we are not separated… We Are One in the same being.”

Manasseh: “Peter, I want to commend you and thank you for honoring your commitment to finishing and posting your blog by your birthday. Your friends, Jeff and Hans are on their way to your house to take you to the beach. Have a wonderful birthday, Peter. Remember, I love you. Your Angles and Guides love you.”

My Story Is Love

2008-07-10T14:43:00.000-07:00

I read Anakha’s latest blog this morning and thought to myself; she is so much more advance than I am.

Than the thought occurred to me; why am I comparing myself to her? She have had so much more education and experience in the corporate world.

Than that voice inside my head, the voice I haven’t heard in a while, said… “You do not know the full story.”

What is the full story? All I know is my story. I’ve been told, we not our story. What does that mean, I’m not my story? When I try running my story with others, it doesn’t work anymore… not with me… not with anyone.

What good is my story if I can’t use it anymore? My life has change… I have change, the cells and the DNA in my body have all change. Something inside has shifted. I can no longer use my story as an excuse to get by.

Why can’t I go back to my poor miserable self… to have my pity party? Why can’t I blame or accuse other for my pain and misery? Why can’t I run the sad Mormon with cerebral palsy story?

I guess I go back to sleep… back to my poor miserable self. I do have a choice. But, it will never work the same. I can never be same way again.

The story has change. I now take responsibility for my life… I am now accountable for what happens in my life. I created it. I AM GOD!

I have been transformed into Love… I am love. I am lovable. I am loved. And I am loving.

A Moment Of Ecstasy

2008-05-20T21:31:00.000-07:00

Peter & Jack sucking face

In whatever form God shows up as… It is always a joy to be loved by someone. Even Jack knows how to love.

It's sad when you're nothing more than a dead fish. Why would you want to sleep when there so much life to live?... Or when there is so much love to give and to receive.

Peter, this is not the time to fall asleep when there is so much healing work that needs to be done in the world.

There is so much joy in this world, I don't want miss out. I don't want to miss a single moment of the ecstasy.I love my beloved community. Many Blessings my beloved ones.

P.S. Thank you Anakha for the amazing pictures.

Readings From A Psyche

2008-05-13T06:31:00.000-07:00

On Sunday evenings, I attend a spiritualist church in SW Portland. The church is held in the home of Geoffrey Knight. The guest intuitive for that evening was Renee Madison.

As Renee was interacting with her audience, she asked us if anyone lost a sweetheart? I reluctantly raise my hand not knowing where this was going.

She continued her line of questing, “Your wife or sweetheart is on the other side?” I nodded.

“She says she’s sorry for hurting you.” Renee continued.

“How do you know it’s her?” I asked.

“She stopped pushing her way through.” Renee reply. “She’s really sorry for making your life tough.”

I was socked and flabbergasted that Sherri was contacting me form the beyond after some seven years following her passing. Sherri Lynn Howard reportedly died in 2000 from Spinal Meningitis brought on by years of substance abuse.

“Why did she wait so long to come through now?” I asked the fast talking medium.

“There’s this thing called guilt. But, she is in a place of healing now. She is only now learning to love who she is.” Renee told her audience.

“Does she want to come back in a another form?” I asked.

“No. Not right now. She is in a place of healing and comfort. She wants to stay in that comfort for a while.” Renee said as she turned away and started a reading for someone else in the audience.

Renee Madison is a remarkable gifted psyche. Many Blessings.

The Journey to the Treasure in the Heart!

2008-04-30T20:32:00.001-07:00

The Guru has return! She has return to the Heart. Portland has an undiscovered Guru who teaches the same teachings Yeshua taught some two thousand years ago. Loving what is… Loving yourself… Loving your own body… Loving your circumstance that you’re in… Loving your environment.

Yeshua said, “Know ye not you are gods?” By that he meant you have the power to change your life… your circumstance… your environment. Mahatma Gandhi said, “Be the change you want see.”

Charles Jason Howard

2008-04-26T20:39:00.000-07:00

There is a Twenty-six year old man reportedly running around Moscow Idaho with my DNA. I haven’t seen this young man since 1992 when he came to visit me in Aloha, Oregon. Aloha is a community just west of Beaverton. I live there with my second wife, Pamela.

Charles Jason was born on this date in 1982 at the University of Utah Hospital in Salt Lake City, UT. A fond memory of Charlie, the name I gave him while of toddler age, would go on excursions with me on errands around the city of his birth.

I lived with him for the first five yearsof his life until his mother and I were divorce in early 1988. I was granted visitation rights until my relocation from Coos Bay to Portland in August of that year.

I don’t know much about his life from that point except from phone call reports of trouble with the law extending from drug abuse issues. Charles and his two siblings came from a broken home, were raised by their grandfather and grandmother in Bandon and Rouge River Oregon.

In 1990, after hearing of my second marriage, Charles’ mother change his Sir name to Howard.

Epilogue: I could not acknowledge Charles as my son five years ago. The only picture I have of him is in a triple heart-shape frame along with his younger sisters sitting on my relationship altar in my bedroom.

Many Blessings.

I Create Love Wherever I Go

2008-04-24T18:48:00.000-07:00

The act of Breathing is the act of Love, itself.
~ Manasseh

What is this embodiment of love? I don’t understand it. My Guru has disappeared… Vanish into thin air. Taking a piece of my heart. When I dwell on it too much, it hurts.

Manasseh: “Get out of your head and into body. Closed your eyes and breathe slow and deeply.”

Some two thousand years ago, Yeshua walked the earth, teaching his followers the embodiment of love. He told them, “This and greater things ye shall do.” He wanted them to be Self-aware…Self-realization…self love.

Manasseh: “Know thy self and you shall love thy self.”

My Soul’s contract was to incarnate into a body to learn Love… Forgiveness… Compassion… Gratitude… Generosity… Wisdom… and Peace. As I progress on my journey hitting the four year mark, I’m wondering if I am to not only to embody Love… but to embody Forgiveness… embody Compassion… embody Gratitude… embody Generosity… embody Wisdom… and embody Peace.

Crashing a Friday night session of Mystical Activism, I wrote on a 3 x 5 card, I am a Mystic… I am a Sage… I am an Avatar… I am a Master. The Universe is accelerating my growth. A night I will never forget, where I sat in a circle of highly evolve student gurus. Incarnated beings as Aminga, Autumn, Blaine, Christine, Danielle, Gene, Lisa, Martie, Melt, Pamlea and Ra.

In the dim lit room, there was one who face’s glow with the light of Yeshua. I remembered feeling the love energy emanating from her heart as her smile warmly welcome me. At the same time, there was one with a destine look on their face as if to say, how dare you barge in and invade our space. I kept my attention upon the teacher of Christ-like love.

It is none of my business who ever wronged me… who dislikes me… who does not pays attention to me. I have loan thousands of dollars to people who have never pay me back. I let it go… it’s none of my business. Some people just don’t like me or want to hang out with me. There is nothing I can do about it. I just go on my way. There are people I have a high regard for and admire who look right through me as if I don’t even exist. They pay no regards to my presences. Should I be crying? I don’t think so.

I like myself the way I am. The divine self. I admire my higher self… The God-Self. The wisdom that exists inside of me. Big deal if I have the TV on for background noise while I compose my blog posts or download my music. I don’t care if people do not read my blog anymore. Mote It Be.

Many Blessings.

Commentary On Polygamy

2008-04-18T21:55:00.000-07:00

Four hundred sixteen children could have a new lease on life this week all because one young teenager was brave enough to stand in her own authentic self and blow the whistle on her polygamist lifestyle. With the dramatic alteration in a way of life comes the state of fear, which is blindness to the road ahead. In their fear, they cannot understand their liberation from the male ego gone arrive.

This is what happens when the male ego goes uncheck. Men, who think they can play God, control and dominate their wives and children like cattle. These women and children are clueless to what freedom taste like… Smells like… Feels like… Or even looks like. The news media have portrait the expression on the faces as if they were zombies… Void of life and vitality. Is this what happens when you have been repeatedly rape by a man you were force into arrange marriage of sickness? Their spirits are either dead or barely on life-support while their bodies maintain survival mode.

After years of molestation, incest and endless years of abuse, this community just may see their first glimpses of the light at the end of the tunnel. I see the eventual end for this polygamist sect as mere facts the leader of the male ego is behind bars and their Texas compound raided. The Universe seeks balance in all things. We shell see more light penetrate the darkness as higher consciousness of love and light enters the world.

It is my hope and prayers for the women and children of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints will seek professional help and continue on to paths of enlightenment to heal their broken spirits. Out of the abyss of darkness they climb the path of difficulty.

Many Blessings to the women and children who have been hurt.

Transmuting The Male Ego In Hood River

2008-04-16T00:08:00.000-07:00

Today, I took a road trip to Bonneville Dam and Hood River with Jeff Smith. We stop in Troutdale to fuel up our bodies with a late breakfast. Jeff wanted to stop at the fish ladders and visitors center at Bonneville Dam. We watch as a five-foot long Chinook salmon struggle against the current to swim up stream. I thought about the male ego and its struggle against the flow of the Universe.

In Hood River, I stop to shop in a nice gift store. I found two lovely gifts for two beloved friends, but nothing for that special lady my heart is so fond of – oh uh. I darted into a next door restaurant to use the restroom while Jeff waited for me. When I came out, I bump into a friend from the Sacred Circle Dance community who recently moved to Hood River to clear his mind and to be surrounded by nature.

Even though Jeff was in a rush to be home by a certain time, he was patient enough while I visit with my friend. We talk about the male ego and the role it plays on our psyche and how it contaminates our hearts.

Manasseh: “Blog with tact and sensitivity.”

Peter: “Hello Manasseh. I am. I very much want to be sensitive.”

He reminds me of myself when I was young and in my ego mind. I would try to control or dominate the relationship. When that didn’t work, I would sabotage the relationship by throwing a fit and running away like a child. What I didn’t realize back in my youth is a Woman is like unto a butterfly. You have to hold your hand open and leave it open throughout the relationship. If she lands in your hand, you are bless by receiving her love. That doesn’t mean you can close up your hand and hold her captive. It is my belief and profound understanding she meant to be free to come and go as her heart so chooses.

I hope with all the tenderness and care, it will go both ways as in any relationship. And when she is ready to leave your hand, you will have the love and the compassion still holding out your hand as she fly’s away. Yes, there will be sadness in your heart. That is when you go inside and know God… Your true self. Breathe in Yeshua. Breathe out you God-self.

Manasseh: “Yes Peter. Exactly.

As we drove home, west bound on I – 84, the rain showers would come overhead and block out the sun. The rain clouds represents my male ego mind blocking out the true source of love. My mind race down the freeway along side the Columbia River screaming at me, “Dump this woman before she hurts you!”

No, I won’t! I will risk everything for one night of sacred intimacy. My heart is wild open ready to receive sacred love. Than I shell let her go like a butterfly. And she will be gone and I will again become acquainted with the pain of a broken heart. My heart will than be crack open only to be fill up with love of Yeshua.

Manasseh: “You are so bold to declare love on the Internet.”

Peter: “Yes, I am open and vulnerable. I don’t care who sees me in my nakedness. I love her… We all love her.”

Many Blessings.

Calling Forth Love

2008-04-14T23:47:00.000-07:00

My cohorts seem to be silent this week. It might be my turn to speak up in terms of holding the bloggedsphere open for my beloveds.

Reflecting back on the last four years since I started out on this journey with the first steps by leaving an intuition of dogma doctrine, which held me spellbound for a great portion of my life. As my evolvement commence, I notice my discontentment for the LDS Church has steadily diminish over time. Remembering at that point of turning my back and walking away from something that have cause suffering in my life… Feeling the feelings of anger and bitterness for wasted time and energy.

Setting out on my new path, hoping it will lead me to fulfillment… Something real and lasting. But first, learning to let go of the ego and being fully honest with myself. I was having new experiences and meeting healthy vibrant people. Within the last year, I connected with the Sacred Circle Dance community and I was attracted by the energy and vitality of certain females. I knew they wouldn’t be attracted to me. To let go of this pain, I would close my eyes and breathe in Yeshua, breathe out Manasseh. I can feel my own breath inside of me. The God inside of me have been in love with me for over fifty years.

A guess speaker at Celebration Church this past Sunday. Charlie Heavenrich, a river mystic from the Grand Canyon, made this profound statement: “The ego is only attached to things outside of ourselves, which are impermanent.” Charlie talk about how his heart was broken… Crack open only to be fill up with love.

Yes Beloveds, the game of love is a hard game to play. But it become easy when you know who loves you first.

Maybe I’m not looking for a Soulmate like I thought I was, but a lover. A long time friend who I met when I join the Mormon Church, Dan Hastings, was manifesting a Soulmate but ended up with a lover. He is enjoying himself in this new relationship. He doesn’t know how long it will last, at lease he’s living in the moment. What am I? Chopped liver? Am I good enough as Dan to manifest a love life? I placed my order with the Universe.

Many Blessings.

Is Celebration Church Ready For Anakha Coman?

2008-04-08T12:11:00.000-07:00

For months now, I have this overwhelming desire for my Guru to come and speak at Celebration Church. I’ve been working hard this week to coordinate this.

In the process I found some resistances. There has been excuse after excuse not view her video web blog; i.e. we don’t have time to view her blogs. Can you send us a CD or a DVD of her speaking?

I have been working with Gene to put together selected video blogs of Anakha into a DVD package for Celebration Church to view. After watching all eleven video segments and trying to pick out which video to put on the DVD. It occurred to me may be they're not ready for the wildness of Anakha.

I E-mail Gene back: SHE IS SO AWSON!! My two favorite video are "Manifesting" the I Am that I Am and Embodying God -- Our Erotic Awakening. Wish we can post all 11 videos on one DVD, so they can get the whole range of Anakha's spiritual favors. In my opinion if they can't handle Anakha's erotic demeanor then they are not ready for Anakha at all. I wouldn’t want to change her so she can fit in to their mold. She is too authentic for that. Why cover up her true wildness just to speak at a church?

I question the fact why we have to make something better? Why do need to change something around just to fit someone else paradigm? I say if you don't like the package that it comes in, than don't buy it. The same goes for our own bodies -- if they're not broken, why fix it? Our culture is obsess with their body makeover, namely plastic surgery. Why do we have to have some better?

So Jimmy... Why did you remake your movie, The Moses Code? Didn't you like the first version?

I don't know if I want to hear Anakha speak at Celebration Church if I can't experience her in her full mystical eroticism. If you take that part away, you mind well take God away too.

Many Blessings.

Manifesting God -- Manifesting Love

2008-04-08T09:59:00.000-07:00

Lets start back at the beginning… I was raised as an atheist. My father told me God does not exist. My childhood friend did believe in the existence of God, as did the greater portion of the world’s population. I became a seeker. I seek God outside of myself… something to believe in.

You know my story… my journey from previous posts from this blog. There is not the need to rehearse the story of my journey.

Something to believe in… I believe in that something called Love. I response to love. Before I entered into relationship… my marriages, I remembered punishing myself because I was not good enough. I manifested abuse and unkindness in my two relationships with those two woman. I remembered shutting down and saying to myself, ‘I only response to love.’

I am that, I am! I am that, (pause) I am! I am love, I am! I manifested three divine Gurus who embody love. I believe in Anakha, Gene and David. The greatest lovers I ever met. The Big Bang in my heart. I have found God. My seeking has ended.

I love you Manasseh! I love you Anakha! I love you Gene! I love you David! I am one with God! I am one with you!

Happy Birthday My Beloved Anakha. I love you! – Many Blessings.

Forty Years Ago

2008-04-03T18:41:00.000-07:00

Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated on a Memphis hotel balcony. A woman in Portland, Oregon name Karen Coman was nine months pregnant was about delivered a healthy baby girl any day. Me… I was ten years old and in the third grade.

One peacemaker leaves the planet and a few days later another peacemaker arrives on the planet. WOW!

Penetrating The Sacred

2008-03-28T23:24:00.000-07:00

A guy like me with my condition can easily stay home and sit in front of the boo tube for the rest of his life. Not me. I refuse to sit at home waiting for someone to take me somewhere or waiting for something to happen. Forget it! I’ll do it myself.

Somewhere within the city of Portland exist a subculture of loving individuals who strive to enliven their sacred community. Artists, musicians, healers and people left over from the hippie generation come from miles around to make community for ninety minutes on a Sunday morning. This sacred community is invisible to the untrained mind driving down I – 5 looking for that which will jumpstart his/her soul into motion that will lead to the ocean of love.

I will get on the bus in the Tualatin/Bridgeport area to go to Portland to attend my workshops… Puja(s)… Kirtan(s)… Sacred Circle Dance or whatever my heart is call to go. Somehow, after the event is over, the Universe sees me safely home.

As more people awaken in their Self Realization, where love is only game in town, the demand for sacred events will increase. Portland is poise to become the next Sedona. New Thought Churches… Spiritual Communities will keep growing. The Sacred Circle Dance community will burst its seams.

Tonight, I will penetrate the sacred. Love and Blessings.

Love Be Not Afraid

2008-03-23T22:14:00.000-07:00

Are you afraid to love me?
Are you afraid to touch me?
Are you afraid to caress me?
Are you afraid to hold me?
Are you afraid to know me?
Are you afraid to dance with me?
Are you afraid I cannot offer you love?
When you look at me, what do you see?

Or are you afraid of your own inability to show up? I show up all the time. Why can’t you show up for me?

I once dated a woman for one week whom I was very much in love with. She told me she loved me. She wanted to hang out with me for while and see how she can deal with the CP. She said she was mad at God for giving me a physical handicap.

I was in my ego and my insecurity sabotage the relationship. I drove her away from me in less than a week. The question is when others people break our hearts, do we do it to ourselves? I told Anakha last week as we drove in to McMinnville where another former girlfriend live, broke my heart. She did not break my heart. I did it to myself.

You might ask how did I break my own heart? When we are in our ego and our insecurities take over, we allow fear, not love, to rule our hearts. The flame of love is thus smother and no one can breathe. The relationship is deprive of oxygen and light. Love between two people, the relationship, is like unto a plant, needs oxygen and light in order to grow. The next relationship I entered into will be open and allow to breathe love and life.

There are already feelings stirrings in my heart for a woman. How do I know? She appears in my unconscious dreams night after night cradling each of her beloveds, healing them of their distorted pain. She has many beloveds that are intoxicated by her because of who she is: Genuine: Authentic: The full embodiment of love: The embodiment of the Christ consciousness.

And to think I almost threw it away one day. I thought I was not good enough for the Christic to fill my being with pure love. Love that’s heals the distorted pain. I made a passing comment to the oracle of love embody, “I’m not your type.” I lied. I am your type. I am everyones type. When will I stop sabotaging love?

I am ready for love to show up. No matter what form love shows up as, I will not sabotage it. I will not be afraid of it.

Love and Blessings.

The Five Layers Of Love

2008-03-13T21:26:00.000-07:00

How close can I get to God? Wait… I am God!

Growing up with a boyhood friend/neighbor whom was raise Catholic was my first exposure to religion. Lets call this layer number one. Larry told me the Nuns hit your hands with a stick when you’re not good. Ouch!

Layer number two came in Junior High School known as Young Life… Born-Again Christianity. I guess it was cool to be a part of prayer meetings and Bible study on the school campus. But, was I fulfilled?

I dove head long into a thirty year Mormon journey with layer number three. Would I find myself? Would I find what I truly long for?

The surprising shift to layer number four must be New Thought. I thought I was going to be a Mormon forever. Some time ago I blog I wanted a new drug. That new drug has been inside of me since the day I was born. Why live in fear when you can live in love?

Layer number five? What do you call it, Anakha? Love Embodiment. It’s all about how you treat yourself. Everything about your being is the Universe. When Yeshua walked the Earth, he taught his followers the practice of Ahimsa... nonviolence to self and others... The true nature of the sacred heart.

I was born with it. There is no need to look for it. I already have it. I am radiant love. I embody love. I am the Guru for me. Anakha is a Guru. Gene is a Guru. David is a Guru. Anakha, Gene and David live in layer number five… Love Embodiment. Every where they go... every face they see, is the face of God.

Light attracts light. I’m in love with Anakha. I’m in love with Gene. I’m in love with David. I’m in love with myself. Love Embodiment.

Love and Blessings.

P.S. Yeshua reminds me to honor and remember my past. Yeshua: "It is how you came to this state of being."

Journey Night

2008-03-09T21:32:00.000-07:00

Last Monday night, I attended a Shamanic Journey night at the Yurt in the Garden Home district. Spirit took me on a healing journey. As the drums begin to beat, I closed my eye and my mind is wisp away deep inside the Great Mother. Way down to the core of her belly.

She longs to take him in her arms and heal him from his distorted pain. The fire in the core of her belly as the passion burns hot for her beloved. She takes him gently in her arms and begins to tenderly caress his naked torso. He closes his eyes and softly moans. She whispers into his ear his true nature. She pulls him tightly against her bare chest and begins gently rock him like a newborn. He smells the scent of her hair which have fallen on his face.

It's a beautiful moment as they struggle to stay present in the moment. He can feel her energy moving down through her body into his own. He now stands tell, erect and completely healed from his distorted view of the world. This scene is repeated over and over again as the drums calls me back into physical body.

The second vision burst opened with the Heavens weeping for her. The entire heavens... every star, planet and moon cries out for her. The Sun longed for her. The stars weep for her. At one time, Mother Earth and Father Sky were joined in sacred union. Now separated since the big bang, they longed to hold each other in that eternal sacred embrace.

Every time a conscious being… you... me... God, goes to the sea and looks out upon the horizon, they would see Gaia joined with her beloved in sacred intimacy.

2008-03-02T10:09:00.000-08:00

NO ONE ANSWERS THEIR FUCK'N PHONE ANYMORE!!

** Sigh ** With that said, I need a car to get where I want to go.

With no ride to Celebration Church, Peter decides to a late bus to the Village Ballroom. A 90 minute bus ride.

It's Okay To Be Vulnerable

2008-02-24T21:49:00.000-08:00

The thoughts in my head this morning as I wakeup was what a blessing it was to be alive in this body. Something told me how eager I was to race to the end of the line in the afterlife waiting to be incardinated in another physical body. The ultimate desire to touch… to caress… to hold… to make love to God with a beating heart within her chest fill with mad passionate desire.

In order to attract such of God, my own heart must be already fill with the inner light of divine radiance. Only I can make changes or fill up my heart. If its depleted… lonely… heartbroken, so what! Why not sit with it? Maybe, just maybe God is in the heartbreak.

I’m listening to an audio book which is a popular read right now, Eat, Pray, Love. A story of a woman who dumps everything including her husband and goes on a yearlong odyssey in search of meaning to fill up her heart after many years of being empty. Though the author doesn’t advocate this advise to every woman with an depleted heart without first a lot of soul-searching leading to regret in the aftermath. It was her choice… her rout to enlightenment.

I wonder how cliché it is for religious or some spiritual people to relay on their God when their lives are so mess up and falling down before them? People claim to have their God when at the same time their hearts were empty. This was the case with yours truly. I can resonate with the message of my current spiritual teacher, like me, for many years she live a lie. The lives we lived were in a state of hypocrisy that we create our own messes.

If we’re willing, like a garment, the Universe take our souls and turns them inside out and hangs them to air out. Now, our hearts are on the outside and vulnerable for all to view. The hypocrisy, like dirt, falls to the ground. God can now ware the garment.

Love and Blessings.

A Cry For Help From My Soul

2008-02-23T07:22:00.000-08:00

My heart and soul feels depleted this morning. My inner voice told me I needed to be at Koru House at 11: 00 am.

Why? What about work?

Fuck Work! You have enough money to pay the rent. Please take care of your of heart and soul today. If you don’t, you’ll paid for it later. You will need to take $200.00 from the Angel Box and your green necklace with you for the day. Please listen to your soul.

Why so much money?

$150.00 for Anakha and Gene. $25.00 for lunch. And $25.00 for the party tonight.

What party?

You’ve forgotten about the Erotic Ball.

But, I don’t have a costume to wear for the ball.

You and your bull shit excuse. The Universe will provide. Now post and sent it out there.

Now?

Now, wise guy!

The Everlasting Kiss

2008-02-19T17:51:00.000-08:00

My one and only day off from work I find myself watching a movie on HBO called, “The Last Kiss.” It is the story of a young engaged couple that is caught up in their own self-absorb ego. They both desperately seeking away around the heartache and the unforgiveness they both experience from their indiscretion as well as their unfaithfulness.

In my highly evolve state of consciousness, it is permissible to have more than one lover. I say let love be love. God loving God. Enough of this God killing God business! We got to reverse this trend. We got to get over our self-absorb pettiness and allow the free flow of love go where it wants to goes. We must allow this free flow expression of love be or we are doom as a species.

My teacher is capable of loving more than one lover. I am open to a future lover who wants to explore my body and than wants to return to a former lover or find a new lover. That being said, you would think I have lost my mind. Good! I’m in good company.

The forthcoming DVD documentary, “We Are The Lovers” will further demonstrate this lesson. If you cannot wait for “We Are The Lovers” set for release later this year, you can click on Divine Masculine Blog or NakedHeart Blogin the right panel and scroll down to the YouTude video clip. There you can view a sample of what you may find in the DVD documentary.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to get past the last kiss and enjoy that ever-last-ing kiss?

Love and Blessings.

Erotic Dreams At Koru House

2008-02-19T07:09:00.001-08:00

Saturday night was a wild night for me. I entered my next stage of my consciousness evolution. I attended a Spicy Valentine Video party at Sharon and Art’s home called Koru House. I was one of the ninety attendee’s who dine on scrumptious vegetarian finger food and view three-minute clips of favorite spicy love scenes. It seems as the night wore on, the night got a little hotter.

The party broke up around mid-night. With no ride home, I was offered the downstairs futon to crash on. I made my way downstairs to get ready for bed. I went to use the bathroom for one last time for the night. I heard voices coming from the outside patio. I followed the voices through the dressing room, out the side door, up the steps, around the corner to the patio. Three party attendees were soaking the hot tub. They invited me to join them.

I return to the dressing room to retrieve a towel. My unconscious mind and my primal heart took over. I tore off my clothes and rapped the towel around my body and went out the door into the cold dark night. I could not believe how fast I was back at the hot tub. The beautiful strangers helped me get into the steaming bubbly water. It took a couple of minutes for my body to relax and get adjusted to the 102-degree water. I have been waiting for three and a half years to rip my conservative behavior from my consciousness.

Two more beautiful bodies join us in the Koru hot tub. With a total of six magnificent bodies to witness, I felt so grateful to be alive and incardinated with my beautiful body. After thirty-five in the hot tub, I decided it was time to get out. Two people helped out and over the side. They rip my towel around me and walked me to the dressing room. I placed my clothes on my magnificent body and went to bed.

During the night, I’ve dream of a beautiful woman with big piercing green eyes, coming to me inquiring what made me tick. She inquired how a highly conscious evolve man become trapped in a body with cerebral palsy? She desired to touch me, to hold me tightly to her sensual body.

The morning came… The warm sun was out. My beloved Gene, who lives at Koru House, made me a delicious breakfast of eggs sunny-side-up and toast. We hung out together before going to dance. I had a crump in my left calf from the cold night air after retrieving from the hot tub. Gene massaged it trying to loosen it. I finally walked it off on the sidewalk in front of Anakha’s house. Gene was chasing Jack with his play toy in his mouth. We were running behind schedule because Jack wanted to play in the warm sun.

As Anakha was helping me out of the back seat of Gene’s car she slip on some grabble and fell on the sidewalk in front of the Village Ballroom. I felt bad for her and try to help her to her feet. Once inside, I did some reiki on her slightly bruised elbow. The music began and wanted to get out on the dance floor. Gene finally joins us on the floor after parking the car three blocks away. I saw many familiar faces that I did not know by name. Fifteen minutes of music went by before I made eye contact.

I was entranced by the sensually beautiful woman with big piercing green eyes. Oh My God! My mind started to freak. Was this the woman from my erotic dream? I remember my ego and maintain my composer. I was lock in a eye contact embrace and did not want let go. I enjoy our little C.I. session. No name… No phone number. Can someone help me out? Hint, Hint.

Ten minutes later, I held my Beloveds in the divine embrace and cried in gratitude for their love for me. And one last groundbreaking experience for me is traveling down Interstate Five pantsless. You want to explain? Gene was taking me to work. We were running late as usual. To save time I decided to change from my dance clothes into my street clothes. We were driving south bound on I – 5 while I was changing my pants. I thought of a Blog Title: Pantsless On I-5.

I was drained by the end of the day but happy. Love and Blessings.

Erotic Remembrances

2008-02-07T06:14:00.000-08:00

This post is for my beloveds… Anakha, David and Gene. I awoke from an erotic remembrances dream, so I decided to get up and blog about it. Six Mormon women turned me on.

May 1979: The very first erotic experience… Jolene and I were sitting on her couch, kissing… making out. I don’t think she was wearing a bra. I can remember feeling her breasts against my body.

October 1980: Sherri removes the top portion of her dress, exposing her breasts. I remembered replacing her clothing, kissing her, holding her tightly to my body. Another erotic moment with Sherri came in February 1981: she have moved out of her grandparent’s home into a studio apartment off of 71st & SE Division. We were alone and she started undressing me. She took off her clothes and we made love on the bare floor. I remember riding the bus down Division Street towards home and being high from the euphoria.

Ginger never made me hot in her presences, in November 1988; she called me one night to tell me she couldn’t come over because she was horny for my body. Shit!

March 1989: I was attending a LDS Church singles dance in Seattle. I dance with a beautiful woman named Diana, who was wearing a tight fitting dress, which would reveal every sensual curve of her body as she moved across the dance floor. I was so turned on.

May 1990: I remember greeting my girlfriend, Pam at the front door of her Canby home. She was wearing these parachute pants. As I was greeting her, I was bending over backwards, kissing her. I was hornier than hell.

This segment of the blog is a love story. This is the way I want to be held by my beloved. Periodically 1992 – 2003: Every time I dance with Kay, she would hold me tightly to her body. She would look into my eyes as if she was going to kiss me. I never did get a chance to taste those sweet lips of her. She never did take the chance to kiss me because of fear.

My last erotic encounter was Sunday, February 3rd: where I embraced Anakha, like Kay, tightly to my body. I held in a full embrace my beloveds, David, Gene and Anakha. As I held them against my body, listen to their moaning and felt the sweet sweat from their bodies.

Love and Blessings.

P.S. The only regret I have is the guilt that was associated with these divine erotic experiences that were for my devolvement.

Loyalty Waits For Love

2008-02-05T22:38:00.000-08:00

I spent the majority of my day in a waiting room at Tuality Community Hospital in Hillsboro. My loyalties lie with a close-nit friend who was there for me when I had my knee surgery eighteen month ago. Jeffrey Smith was scheduled for a total hip replacement surgery at One O’clock pm.

Jeffrey was lucky only to be bump back ninety minutes and entering the O.R. around 2:30 pm. I was not as fortunate as Jeffrey was. My schedule surgery time kept getting push back due to unforeseen emergency surgeries. Jeffrey stuck with me while waiting along with my folks in my hospital room. When the folks hit the state of boredom, they exit the room to parts unknown. Not Jeffrey. For over 24 hours, he stays by my bedside.

What is wrong with this boy? Maybe he enjoyed the beautiful view from the eighth floor window overlooking the tree-cover West Hills. Does this man ever get bored I though?

In an effort to demonstrate my loyalty to Jeffrey, I waited until he was out of surgery. His mother finally sent me home at 6:30 tonight. As I was getting ready to leave the hospital waiting room, the doctor came by to make his report to the family members. I will keep you updated on Jeffrey recovery in the following weeks.

I’ll answer the question is Jeffrey one of the lovers.

Love and Blessings.

Poetry For The Mind

2008-02-03T18:49:00.000-08:00

At the end of dance today, I wrote these in the sacred book...

We are the seeds...
We are the trees...
We are the planets...
We are the stars in the cosmic Universe
fulfilling the measure of our creation.

My Green Necklace

2008-02-01T21:40:00.000-08:00

I got my green necklace back from the repair shop today. I wanted to put it on right away. Yeshua told me to wait until the next ritual ceremony where a High Priestess can put it for you. Okay… February 14th is Anakha’s next ritual. I can wait until than.

As Jeffrey and I were driving down northeast Broadway, another voice within my head asked, “Have you paid off all your debts yet?” No, I thought to myself. “You shouldn’t ware it until you have done so.” The voice came again.

Is this voice different from Yeshua’s voice? Is this the same voice that almost drove me insane when I a practicing Mormon? This voice sounds like the critical voice from within. I want to ware my green necklace as soon as possible. How am I going to pay off fourteen hundred dollar by February 14th?

That green necklace means a great deal to me… it gives me confidence as a lightworker and a healer. The necklace contains healing as well as psychic properties. I follow my heart in picking out the necklace. Yeshua wanted me to try it on and ware it when I first found it at Healing Waters & Sacred Spaces in NE Portland. I had to place it on laid away for three months while paying for it.

I felt naked when the thread broke and fell off my neck when I was at Sacred Circle Dance. I was almost devastated when I found it on floor of the bathroom as I was getting dress after dance. But, I kept my cool as Gene drove me across town to take it in for repair. I compare it to being naked without Mormon Garments. Yes, I once wore those. I don’t miss them.

Love and Blessings.

What Happens Next?

2008-01-27T23:03:00.000-08:00

Mercury goes into retrograde late tonight. (January 27th)

KPTV 10 O’clock news broke the story around 10:30 tonight. I quickly went to the LDS Church website… President Gordon B. Hinckley, who led The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints through twelve years of global expansion, has died at the age of 97. The Church president died at his apartment in downtown Salt Lake City at 7:00 p.m. Sunday night from causes incident to age. Members of his family were at his bedside.

Am I My Brothers' Keeper?

2008-01-25T18:23:00.000-08:00

According to Anakha’s post, “Radical Responsibility” I know nothing of what love really is. I have failed my own children. My parents claim I do not have any responsibility for my children lives. In my view, Anakha Coman is a woman prophet… My Minister. She is the mouthpiece for God…My Beloved Yeshua. I have failed my children! I have failed my children!

Did the LDS Church fail me when they didn’t come looking for me when I stopped going to church? I think not so… I gave them the cold shoulder every time they held out their hand to me. Local church members quickly grew tired of me rejecting their offers. After two years of reaching out to me, they gave up and left me alone. Would Yeshua given up on me and left me alone? Anakha understands the parable of the lost sheep. Jeffrey Smith understands the parable of the lost sheep.

Who is this Jeffrey Smith? Jeffrey is the lone member of the LDS Church who stuck by me when I stray from the church. Consider as one of the least of these by the world, a man without guile, disable from birth makes his way in the world without complaint. We’re two peas in a pod, easy-going with healthy appetites… we dine out twice a week. A love for smooth jazzy/new age music… Michael Allen Harrison fans. Yea, we hangout together… why he wants to hang with me… a jack Mormon is beyond me… is beyond my understanding. A man who doesn’t understands why people have to play head games with each other.

This radical love calls for radical responsibility! Yes. We are our brothers’ keeper. Anakha will never give up on Nicole. Anakha will always love Nicole with a love that surpasses people understanding. Anakha doesn’t give a shit about looking good… Let the world questioned, “How can you love a meth addict?” Remember, people were questioning Yeshua when he was ministering to the leper… the meth addicts of his day. Am I not my brothers’ keeper?

Never have I seen the Christic example than this woman prophet who will ventures into the deep crevasses of her soul just to heal the wounded parts of herself. Most people would rather project their pain on to others than to visit/view the dark, ugly places in their hearts. Not Anakha. She will do anything to heal the hearts of her beloveds. Anakha, I know you are God! Jeffrey, you are God!

Love and Blessings.

A Crazy Dream With A Simple Message

2008-01-18T23:03:00.000-08:00

I had a crazy dream last night (Seven days later…got permission to publish post)

I disappeared into an invisible dimension where I was met by a well groom young man. He introduced himself to me as Ted Coman. He told me he never knew me in the physical world during his last lifetime. It seems at the time of the dream (early morning hours of January 12th) he came to me… I don’t know why? He claims I was the one he can contact that knew his daughter. There are many people who know and love his daughter, why didn’t he contact one of them?

Yeshua does not like it when I put myself down or try to second-guess myself. Ted had a simple message for me to convey to his daughter. “Please tell her how proud I am to be her father. Tell her how much I love her. I’ll be watching over her.” He then disappeared into the mist. I then felt the warmth of the covers over my body of my bed. My first thoughts were was that real or was that a lucid dream?

Love and Blessings.

You Cannot Hide From Love's Grace

2008-01-11T22:59:00.000-08:00

A new world
A new drug
A new way of being
A new perspective…a new way of seeing things
A new heart beats in my chest
A new love…a pure love

A new world is waiting for me…waiting to be birth. A new drug to inject into my veins…a new drug to transform my DNA. I AM the perfect love of God…a Divine Being waiting for his new world to be birth. Born out of the need to love…the need to give love…the need to be love. I walk the divine path, searching for the divine, like myself to mirror my love for you…I cried when you cry. I laughed when you laugh. I shut up and listen when you need to talk. I am here to share your joys and your despairs. This is my way of being. The way I see you is the way I see myself…I’m a mirror to you…I’m a bundle of love. My heart beats for you…my beloved.

Oh please, Dear sweet Goddess, give birth to this inherent need for love. Before it too late…before the world dies due to a lack of love. Love is like Air…without it, we all suffocate and die. I beg of you, please don’t retreat from love’s course you started in your heart’s dream. I don’t care if you ever respond to me. I will keep showing up until the world is no more. Someday, you will listen to me…you will listen to my beloved Yeshua. Yes my love, the rain will fall…the flowers will bloom…the sun will come out from behind the clouds and shine once again upon your face. You cannot hide form Love’s Grace.

What's Next?

2008-01-08T12:08:00.000-08:00

You noticed I haven’t blog for two weeks… Christmas and New Years has come and gone. We’re now in the second week of January. What is it that resides in me? How long is the Universe going to allow me remains in my comfort zone… the mundane state of working as a corporate slave at Home Depot? How long before I make my move… or will it push me over the edge?

I had epiphany on New Years Eve at the Village Ballroom. I ringed the epiphany bell the very moment I experience the knowledge of my New Years resolution for 2008… Burning-man! What is Burning-man? To me it is the furriest place from the Mormon Church. My primal spirit wants to dance naked for seven nights before roaring bonfire along with 50,000 people. Burning-man is my Hajj to Mecca. The very idea of dancing naked with 50,000 clothing optional people will no doubt lead to the excommunication of my membership with the LDS Church.

What's next in ’08? Another cruise? A new relationship… a new lover? I just have to remain open and patient to what will unfold for me. I know it will be good… It’s all good. I put my trust in the Universe for my good. I need to be careful with the thoughts I think. My thoughts will manifest whatever I desire. My intent is that powerful.

Lead, follow or get out of the way… a choice. How will I make it? I can lead the way by blogging once a week or more. I can follow my heart… my beloved Yeshua, my Spirit Guide. I can follow the naked heart of a woman who is ten and a half years my junior. The same woman who is constantly being strip naked and forge in the refiner’s fire… heartbreak at every turn. When will it ever end? When the Masters of the Cosmos are ready to place her at the head of the table of the feast of love… when a group of individuals are ready to begin their next stage of their consciousness evolution and enter a state of pure love… The Beloved Community Of The Naked Heart. I can get out of the way of the Universe by ducking down the rabbit hole before she turns the world upside down.

Love and Blessings.

Dance The Sacred Dance

2007-12-23T19:44:00.000-08:00

Merry Yule from Redmond in beautiful Central Oregon. tonight, this blog entry comes from my parents home in Eagle Crest just outside of Redmond. Thank you Ruby-car for bringing me safely over the mountain. The Ruby-car is a bright red Honda Element driven by the beautiful outrageous naked-hearted Goddess, AC.

Today, I dance the sacred dance with my beloveds...with myself and with the divine. It was beautiful dance inspired by one man's life who die on the dance floor of the Village Ballroom one year ago this week. The remarkable part of this man's journey is he decided to come back to us to make the awe inspiring documentary, "We Are The Lovers." He came back to us because there was too much love in that room where he left his body on that cold dance floor. He came back to us because two people breathe his lunges and pump his heart for him. See Divine Masculine Blog in the right panel.

I feel so bless to be alive and in this presence moment. Wake Up People...Come get into your bodies and know you are truly divine. To be incarnated into a human body is truly magnificent blessing of the Cosmic Universe. Just look at all the wonderful things we can do in this human suit. We can not only feel, touch, smell, taste, see...we can move, dance, laugh, smile. If we wanted to we can spit, fart, burp, poop...and make love.

Yes! That's right...I said make love. To come alive...To feel every emotion that comes into our bodies. To be mad like Rumi...druken with love for all beings that cross your path...out of control with passion...fire in the belly...to be fill with the Christing...to dance the sacred dance with the divine.

The Blessing Of Showing Up

2007-12-21T22:07:00.000-08:00

All I have to do is show up… It’s that simple. God is already there. WOW… what a concept. Showing up in the energy of radiant love is an awesome blessing. The mirror reflects back what you already are. No lies here my friend. The mirror… The universe cannot lie. Everywhere I went last week… the bus stop… to work… the movies with Dan… to Gene’s house… the Puja, I receive nothing but blessings. It was amazing week… Even the Trailblazers are winning. This stuff really does work.

I can’t wait for my next gig(s)… breakfast with Dan and Jeff… a Michael Allen Harrison Christmas concert at the Old Church… a ecstatic dance to celebrate Gene’s life. If my stars are align and if I’m in right place at the right time, I might find myself alone in the Ruby-car with AC and DF and of course Jack for a trip over the snow-covered mountain. A ride in the car with Oregon’s best Puja instructors’… ooooh what a blessing.

Love and Blessings.

P.S. The best blessing of all... Christmas with Mom and Dad... my brother, Mitch... my sister, Karie and Bard, her boyfriend.

Manasseh’s Ultimatum

2007-12-18T11:09:00.000-08:00

I have come a long way since stepping foot on to my spiritual path. I see parallels in my life along with my beloved brother Gene. My minister/teacher encouraged more posts with dialogue with my alter ego, Manasseh. In this revealing paper written more than a year ago for Mystical Activism class, Manasseh delivers a ultimatum. I love you, Martie. You brought out the best in me. In fact, you help birth Manasseh. I don't understand why my audience loves Manasseh...

I, Manasseh, am involved in the empowering and the healing of humanity on a global level, through the book, ‘You Are God!’

Message from Manasseh -- Mon. June 12, 2006 10:04 AM
Setting: Home Depot parking lot, Tigard, Oregon
Situation: Peter came to work, feeling empowered and happy. Peter was pushing shopping carts around 10 am, when he came upon a cart fill with garbage and empty beer bottles. Peter promptly threw a tizzy fit and tossed the contents of the cart on to the ground.

Manasseh: “How do you feel now about what just happen?”

Peter: “I’m pist! Why can’t people put their trash where it belongs? Why do I have to pick up their garbage?”

Manasseh: You’re no longer feeling happy and empowered. It’s amazing just how fast your attitude can switch… and you know this is you choice.”

Peter: “So, what are you trying to tell me?”

Manasseh: “Is this your soul’s purpose to push shopping carts for the rest of your life?”

Peter: “No!”

Manasseh: “What is your soul’s purpose? Do you know what it is?”

Peter: “Yes. It is to write that book you wanted to write.”

Manasseh: “Are you in alignment with your soul’s purpose?”

Peter: “No. I’m not in alignment. I’m pushing shopping carts.”

Manasseh: “This is interesting… you know your soul’s purpose, and yet you are pushing shopping carts. This must be your choice not to be responsible for your soul’s purpose.” Peter, you have choice here. Time is short… you don’t have much time here. What are you doing about it?”

Peter: “Are you asking me to quite Home Depot?”

Manasseh: “That may be one option. The choice is up to you.”

Peter: “How will I support myself?”

Manasseh: “Are we going to listen to the monsters of fear and doubt? Can you do that hand motion you were taught this weekend? Do that over and over again. Do you feel the fear leaving?”

Peter: “Yes! It feels good without that feeling of fear and doubt.”

Manasseh: “Good! Keep doing the release hand motion.”

Peter: “What about my ten year Home Depot bonus?”

Manasseh: “You don’t need it. Nine years at Home Depot is enough. I’m giving you a deadline: By your next birthday, you need let go of Home Depot. Do the hand motion and release Home Depot from you consciousness.”

Peter: “Oh my gosh! God, my higher self wants me to leave Home Depot by October 1, 2006. What are the consequence if I make the choice to stay with Home Depot?”

Manasseh: “Your body will shut down until you’re in alignment with Universe’s calling and the purpose why you are here. The only reason why you’re in this Mystical Activist circle is to do your practicum, which is your book. This extraordinary circle of Goddesses is in synchronicity with your soul’s purpose. All things in the Universe work for the good of the whole. You, Peter, are on your path. You cannot afford to be lazy at this time.”

Peter: “this is scary and exciting at the same time.”

Manasseh: “Exciting, yes! You need not to be scare when you’re on your path. Your Angels, your Spirit Guides are here to assist in your soul’s purpose. I invite you to share this ‘download’ with your beloved MA group and you will know this transmission or ‘download’ you may preferred to call it, will be validated. Know that this ‘download’ is for your higher good. You are the loved by the Universe.

End Of Transmission…

Peter: “WOOOO!”

Claiming The Power Of Manasseh

Every morning when I get out of bed
The thought runs through my head
What a great day to be alive.
I go into the bathroom
And I stand before the mirror in my entire nakedness
What a beautiful body this mortal has
Who are you? Whispered a voice from the beyond.
The Light. The Love. The Glory.
Go deeper still… where does the power comes from?
It lie deep down inside
Is the knowledge that lies dormant

-- Two Months Later --

The headline in my imagination reads:
SCROGIN FALLS IN SHOWER, DISLOCATES KNEE

Dateline: AP DURHAM, OR. Aug 3rd Peter Scrogin, 48 yr old male, a Home Depot associate at the Tigard, Oregon store, was the shower approximately 10:45 pm, Wednesday night. Reportedly lost his balance and became trap on bottom of shower tab. Scrogin screams for help were heard by upstairs’ neighbors immediately came to his aid. 911 dispatched firemen and paramedics to Scrogin’ Durham apartment residents, where he was rescues from the shower tub with a dislocated knee cap and transported by ambulance to Providence St. Vincent’s hospital in NW Portland. Scrogin is reportedly to be resting comfortably.

Another Headline reads:
SCROGIN SCHEDULED FOR SURGERY FRIDAY

Dateline: AP PORTLAND, OR. Aug 4TH Peter Scrogin, 48 yr old male with cerebral palsy, is scheduled to have reconstructed surgery on right patella on Friday afternoon at Providence St. Vincent’s hospital. Surgery is set for 3 pm. A hospital spokesman stated surgery may be delay due to Scrogin’ low priority status and unforeseen circumstance.

Naked Heart Puja

2007-12-18T07:36:00.000-08:00

I am nourished within the darkness of the womb. Lit by candlelight are the faces of the beloved. My naked heart melts by loves embrace. Words utter into my mind dropped down into my ridged body. My heart was softly cradle by five Goddesses who took their turn breathing their yearnings into my nostrils.

Bodies dancing in primal movements… ecstatic noise growling in unison… oh sweet is the joy to be reunited with the tribe of my belonging. To dance the sacred dance with my soul brother is beyond description. Breathing the essence of the evening was worth five times greater than the admission price charged.

Love seems so sweet when I take my sex-craze ego out of the equation. The simple act of the gentle touch of the cheek heals years of distorted trauma. God loving God. The naked heart revealed in radiant love. I choose beloved Yeshua as my lover… I am the lover.

Love and Blessings.

Down The Rabbit Hold

2007-12-12T07:22:00.000-08:00

The world as we know is going to turn upside down... shaken up. It may be safer down the rabbit hold. Think about that one for a while...

Yes… I do believe in Christ Yeshua… the mystic one… the radical one… the gentle one.
The one with the pure naked heart… the one that loves 6.5 billion souls… the same one that loves 13.5 billion Angels that are resting and helping us.

Yes, God has 20 billion of them… hairs on his head… thoughts in his mind… desires in his heart… whatever they are… they will be express in some way or form. If you think I am insane, you’re provably right. If you want to find me, I will be down the rabbit hold with my friends…

Love and Blessings.

Ease Or Dis-ease

2007-12-11T12:56:00.000-08:00

Can you open your heart and express the innermost desires of you heart? For some people this is a difficult task to perform. I learn the other day in a class about the chakra system within the human body… clearing and recharging your chakras. Disease can devolved within the body when one of these energy centers become block.

There is now scientific proof our mind is link to each of the seven main chakra in the human body. The body-mind connection is real. Our very thoughts control the health we have. Is it true we are what we eat? What about we are what we put into our minds?

The question I have for my good friend Gene when he die on that dance floor last December, what did you put into your mind that morning…? What were you thinking to cause your heart chakra to stop functioning? I apologize for being insensate to your private thoughts. The curiosity of my expressive mind allows me to asked such a question.

The proof is all around me. I have seen individuals from my former religion… the LDS Church get sick and die right before my eyes. They would get colds… migraines… fevers… and other illnesses when left untreated… at the root cause… they would give up the ghost.

Another question arises in my mind… Why have my Mom and Dad remain healthy all these years? Is it because they are comfortable in their own skin…? They know how to take care of their bodies and what to eat…? These are good answers, but there is more than meets the eye. My parents knew how to express themselves in ways I didn’t understand… When I was in my youth attending the Mormon Church, they would often express their displeasure what the Mormon Church was drumming into my head… from time to time there would be burst of outrage for what they found in the morning newspaper. They did not hold anything back when it came to discipline us kids… we were spank… unlike today it be consider child abuse.

May be… there is no maybe about it… thanks to unrepressed expression, we are well rounded adults. Why stuffed the emotion when you can express it… free it… breath it.

Love and Blessings

God, Sex And Money

2007-12-10T23:04:00.000-08:00

There is a post I always wanted to write about. Three words in the English language cause the most reaction in people. Not one living being cannot live without at lease one of these words effecting them directly or indirectly.

This post may never be completed... there is way too much juiciness that spill over on to the fringe of each divine being who walks this planet. You cannot avoid getting soiled by one of these taboo nouns.

What makes God taboo...? What makes sex taboo...? What makes money taboo? In some cultures, it is forbidden to express the embodiment of these ideas and concepts. For fear of corruption... a tainted heart... face it, the heart is already tainted... how worst can it get? Religion plays a role... Politics plays a role and humanity is ripping itself apart over petty little ideas that has everything to do with life and living on this blue marble.

Control... Control... Control. Control the masses. This is by far a control issue. Religion controls... Sex controls... Money controls. It all bullshit... Control is bullshit! Control will cause dis-ease in the human body.

I am a provocative person. I like the idea of provoking the minds and heart of my listener. One of my favorite radio show is on Tuesday morning on KBOO FM. The Joe and Abe show. Joe and Abe provokes and gets the truth out to the masses. On any given Tuesday morning, they're talking about God, sex and money. I love this show because they know how to express without holding back.

You cannot escape it... You cannot escape God... You cannot escape sex... You cannot escape the cash. Why not accept it as it is? Why not surrender to that which is in your heart. Instead of trying to change what you are... why not embrace the very thing you are.

The idea I may declared myself as a atheist or agnostic because I do not align myself with any religion that tells me I must accept the biblical Jesus as my personal savior. There is no such God. I am the God of my being. I create my own reality. I accept and embrace who I am. I am radiant love. I am God...i am the Buddha. I am a sexual being. I love having sex... good sex... hot sex. I like the idea of having cash in my wallet... I can spend it on myself or on my beloveds... on whom ever I choose... on whatever I choose.

Love and Blessings.

Express It For God's Sake

2007-12-10T22:56:00.000-08:00

Express it… Let it out. For God’s sake, don’t hold it in. Do you know the damage you do by withholding your truth?

Oh My God! For six days, I withheld my love for my beloveds. My essences…my truth. I just spent an hour going through Anakha’s blog trying to digest her words into my head. Now, I just read Gene’s blog. I want to pull my air out and scream! I’m going insane.

I can’t stand it when people cannot express their inner most feelings and emotions. Oh hell with it. I will express for you… I will shout it from the roof top…if I have too I will climb the highest mountain peek.

I LOVE YOU…I HAVE ALWAYS LOVE YOU…

There, I said my peace. I feel much better now. Good night my Beloveds.

Therefore Her Heart Is Love

2007-12-04T17:40:00.000-08:00

This post is about my favorite inspirational speaker in the world. Last week in our writing class, we express our deepest feelings for a individual in the class. Now is my chance to express my deepest feelings for someone whom I respect, admire and ravishingly adore.

A new High Priestess is on the rise. Matriarchy is making its return. Finally, a woman prophet I can fully give my allegiance to. Even though I do not need a religious figure to follow, it would be nice to have someone I can look up to… someone without guile… someone without the ego trip. In my mind, the heart of a woman is much purer than a man’s.

I have seen many people who hearts come corrupt. In a recent E-mail received… a local New Thought organization asking its congregants for their Oregon Kicker checks… What a complete turned off for me… what a bunch of crocodiles. I know which way that organization is headed. We all know what happen to a wonderful spiritual community when greedy hearts get involve.

The power of the Holy Spirit… the Universe is purifying a certain heart I know… making sure that heart won’t become corrupt with greed or a hidden agenda. She is being stripped naked right before her potential congregants. She must be patient while the sacred fires doing their sacred… magical work, burning away anything that is false or of no use to God. Everyone is praying with her… for her… about her. They want her to be their minister… I want her to be my minister.

She is the catalyst for that which is to come. Know ye not you are the mouthpiece of the Lord…? Yes, you Anakha Shannon Coman, the mystical… the sacred-hearted mouthpiece of God.

Anakha Coman is on fire for God! Alive… Blazing… Radiant… Radical… Love. She a radical just like Yeshua in his life time. She has this blazing energy, too big for any organized religion to contain. She has this radiant love that will melt any icy-cold heart when they step into her presences. When her stars are aligned in the zodiac, she will become bigger than any well-known speaker/author I know. She is a indigo child borne out of the sixties love generation. She was the love child of two individuals who surrender themselves to love. Therefore her heart is love.

Love and Blessings Anakha.

I Want A New Drug

2007-12-02T20:25:00.000-08:00

I found myself thinking I’m bored of the whole New Thought scene. I want something juicier than what I’ve been used to. I’m ready to dive into the ocean of love. I’m craving to go deeper than I’ve ever gone before. A hug is not cutting it for me any more.

The other day at work, Kathy, a co-worker notice how dry my hands were while I was in her office. She took some hand lotion and rub it into my hands. She didn't just rub it on to my hands for a few seconds, but she massage each hand for at lease what seem to be a minute or two. As she work her unknown loving touched, I noticed a smile on my face. Kathy George, you are God.

Last night, as I got ready to go to a movie with a friend, Yeshua whisper in my ear, “You have a treasure yet to be reveal. When you are in a certain circle it will come forth and shall be reveal.” My mind race, what circle…? Who will be in this circle…? When will this circle be form…? That’s just like the ego, wanting it now. I decided to put it in the back of my mind and go enjoy myself at the movie.

This morning as I got ready for church, I couldn’t help think about what I was told by my Spirit Guide. I couldn’t stop thinking about a well-known spiritual peacemaker coming to Portland from Ashland and forming a new group… not just another church… I’m sick of the word church. A sacred heart circle… A beloved community. It would draw from the community of Portland, people whose hearts were open and ready to dive deep into the ocean of love. People who are not afraid to reveal their essences… ready to nurture others with their loving touch like Kathy George gave me.

I can envision this new community as something looking like Ecstatic Circle Dance meets Celebration Church. I envision Anakha Coman as the senior minister giving mini talks each time the community meets… Jimmy T. as the music minister leading us in a Kirtan – a sacred chant and other songs of peace… David F. as the dance minister leading us in movement and ecstatic dance… Gene L. as the media minister documenting and taking it there to world. Each individual serving in their essence of joy… their passion.

There will be expressions of speaking… singing… chanting… dancing… touching… cuddling… holding… healing… psyche readings (COOL).

What if we could remove our skin-suits like in the movie Cocoon, revealing our light bodies… our essences and then we melt into one another ocean of love?

Love and Blessings.

I'm A Sexual Being

2007-11-30T22:04:00.000-08:00

Rant… rant… rant… How much ranting must I do before I get to my goal? I feel totally frustrated today the Universe is not responding to my hopes and dreams. I thought I was on the verge of a breakthrough the other day… May be if I reach deep inside of myself to the core of my ranting… What is truly bothering me…? What is it that eating me up inside. Every time I see them I cringe.

Who makes me cringe when they show up? What on earth am I talking about? They walked in wearing their dark preppy suits with their smooth white hair. I can spot them a mile away. May be it’s their persona they represent to be clean cut and looking perfect for the world. Who are these people? Fundamental Christians? Borne-again churchgoers? Bible thumpers? Mormons?

As a young man, I often entertain erotic, sensual thoughts of naked women. I discovered masturbation in junior high school. In the days before they were locked away behind the counter, I would sneak a peek at a Playboy magazine from the local drugstore. In recent days, I ordered HBO for the R rated and the X rated movies. Yes people, I watch dirty movies. I’m not ashamed or embarrassed to share this information. I have reach a stage in my maturity where it doesn’t matter anymore whither people know I am promiscuous or not. I don’t give a shit. There was a time not too long ago I would denied and cover it up. Face it people, I’m a sexual being.

Organized religion seems to have block evens condemn the freedom of self-expression. It’s a sin to be naked… to be sensual and sexual. It’s a sin to have erotic thoughts. It’s even a sin to have sexual intercourse with someone who you are not married to. In God’s eyes, you’re dirty… You’re nothing more than a piece of trash. You’re not worthy to be in the presences of God. You won’t even go to heaven when you die.

You know what…? Fuck you! Fuck you organized christian religions. The word sin is not a part of my vocabulary. Sin a word I associate with the phrase dog poop. Am I dog poop? Is the Divine dog poop? I think NOT!

I called my friend, Geoffrey Knight,
this week. The best hypnotherapist on the planet. On Tuesday morning, I went to see Geoffrey for a hypnosis session.

Walking down my path, I encounter this garbage can right in the middle of the path where I’m walking. Where did this garbage can come from? What is this garbage can doing here now, in my path? I walked up to the garbage can and removed the lid. I looked inside and I found…

It was me inside that garbage can, covered with shit… I reach in with both arms and pulled my little boy self out. I clean the garbage off him and I held him close to my breast. I told him I loved him. He melted into my heart. I set the garbage can a long side of the path and continue on. As I continue on my path, people would come to me asking me to touch them on some part of their body as if I was healing them.

I continue walking into this blazing radiant light. I was fill this all-encompassing love. The hypnosis session ended. A tape was made. I went home.

The Christian fundamentalists in their dark preppy suits must be my inner child I rescued from the garbage can. If I can hold them to my chest, I can finally healed that energy and get on with the rest of my life… May be I can meet the love of my life.

Love and Blessings.

P.S. I’m not a person who rants… Hopefully, this is the last of the rants.

Rant And Then Let Go

2007-11-26T19:08:00.000-08:00

The Universe heard my rants. I’m tired of listening to myself complain. I’m tired of the struggle to prove myself… to complete with others in the work-a-day-world… Get up… get dress… make a lunch… get something in my stomach… out the door… get on a bus… change buses… get off a bus… walked the rest of the way to work… clock in… wait on customers for eight hours… clock out… go home… do it all again the next day… and the next day… all for what? A stupid greenback? To paid my rent and my bills? What a shity way to live! There, I hope you’re happy with my rant.

It’s time to live for my soul’s purpose. It’s time for adventures that will nourish my spirit. It’s time to wake up the rest of the world. It’s time to heal the broken hearted. It’s time to be who you are came here to be.

Yes, Chris Farmer, as you work your process, the Universe is going to respond to your rants as you let go. I believe, as we rant, we are getting clear what it is we want in our lives. I made the mistake of misjudging Rev. Chris for a dry and boring talk. When in fact it was good and juicy. So good and juicy, I uploaded his talk with Chris’s permission. Lets hope the technological gods are working overtime. This is a first for such attempt.

60 minutes later...
The technological gods were not in my favor tonight... Sorry.

Sunday Morning Rants

2007-11-25T10:08:00.000-08:00

I’m feeling blue this Sunday morning. I feel like complaining. I can’t seem to find a ride to church. Who cares any way. The topic today is on the course of miracles and the speaker is dry and boring with no wit. The speaker I really want to hear is away in Bend, Oregon this weekend. I wish she would bring me some of her latest CDs, so I can share with the ministers at the church I regular attend. I think if they heard her speak, they would invite her to speak. Gee, she already has a speaking engagement in January at the other church I attend on Tuesday nights when I’m not somewhere else.

Shit, I hate sitting at home… doing nothing. When I can be out connecting with other like-minded souls. So what if the speaker is not entertaining, at lease I can be out there socially interacting. I think I better get on the phone and get my butt to church. May be the speaker won’t be so bad as I think… I’m outta hear!

Love and Blessings.

Three Thanksgiving Day Monsters

2007-11-22T07:54:00.000-08:00

At our writing class on Tuesday, Anakha brought some oracle cards. I drew a card with the figure of a man with three ghostly figures surfacing from his head. I quickly wrote down the words, which came to mind upon drawing the card.

Ghosts of my mind. I am Manasseh, embracing the monsters in my head. I am not afraid of these monsters, for I made them my friends. Three ghosts are howling at me. “Please take care of me.”

As the writing exercise progress, I found myself taking dictation from an invisible force. Feeling rested, I can edit the words in the paragraph that I wrote on Tuesday night.

One ghost howled: “Take care of my bills.”
A second ghost howled: “Take care of my apartment.”
And the third ghost howled: “Take care of my body.”

I blog here this Thanksgiving morning with the critical mind fully engaged, thinking to myself, I have nowhere to go for Thanksgiving day dinner. The plans didn’t pan out as I hope for. Oh well, that’s life. I told everyone at work and at church, I had a place to go for Thanksgiving dinner. I will stay home today and watch the Thanksgiving Day parade and a lot of football. I got plenty of food in the fridge. I will be fine. And besides, who wants to wait for a bus on a cold day?

I return back to my notes in my notebook from Tuesday night writing class. It was if a invisible force was taking control of my hand. It must be Manasseh, my alter ego. Who else could it be? I want to edit my notes into comprehension thought.

Manasseh: “Please take of me…”

Peter: “Take care of who?”

Manasseh: “Don’t stop (writing)…”

Peter: “How do I take care of you?”

Manasseh: “You are you… Take care of your things.”

Peter: “No… It’s something invisible…”

Manasseh: “You’re wrong, it’s both. Pay your bills. Clean and F.S. your apartment. Take care of health… Eat right. We are the three monsters.”

Peter: “Huh? What? Manasseh divided himself into three beings… three monsters?”

Manasseh: “P.S. The Universe wants to take care of you… You are the Universe.”

There is a lot here in my notes that I do not understand. What does F.S stands for? Who are the three monsters and what do they want from me? How can Manasseh dived himself into three beings? The only way I can figure this out is to biog tonight when I’m tired… When I’ll be out of my mind.

Right now, I want to watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade and some football. Eat breakfast.

Happy Thanksgiving. Love and Blessings.

Body Talk: Part 2

2007-11-20T23:00:00.000-08:00

My hair wants to speak up:

Why did you cut me off? I was so beautiful upon your head. I can’t wait to grow back.

I may keep my hair short. The ladies like it short.

What? Keep me short… how could you? What do girls know anyway? I want to be long, flowing, white and beautiful. I am a warrior… A mighty warrior. Why do you listen to outside forces who do not know any better?

I Show Up As Raw Truth

2007-11-19T06:09:00.000-08:00

Once it’s on, it’s on… it’s not going to turn off…
What is on?
My raw truth… my radical honesty.
My dark secrets are being reveal
I’m drunken with love’s madness
To be revealing my darkest secrets is liberating.
The Mormon Church is ok right where it is.
Martie and Christine are beautiful and perfect right where they are.
The elixir of loves presences is the truth of all things…
Everything will be healed and forgiven.

I don’t give a shit about the truth that’s presides in organized religion. I only care about what I can feel in my heart… the fire in my belly… the Spirit that dwells within this body. I made vow to live fully within this body. I will continually show up in radiant love. I will speak my truth. I will walk my walk. I will dance my dance. Although, it may not look perfect to you, it’s mine to have. It is myself expression… and I’ll do it however its pleases the God in me.

I love to dance and to express myself. I have found a venue that supports that need for self expression. The energy in that venue vibrates at a higher rate than previous known.

Time has expired. Love and Blessings.

Healing

2007-11-16T00:12:00.000-08:00

Forgiving the Mormon Church

Manasseh: Why is you heart, anti-Mormon church?

Peter: I’m not anti-Mormon.

Manasseh: Your heart is anti-Mormon church, I know the feelings of your heart. Whenever a member of the church comes in to Home Depot to greet you. You recoiled.

Peter: I do?

Manasseh: You cannot be coy with me, your own self. This is radical honesty time. I want to know why your heart feels this way. What did the Mormon church do to you that made you feel this way?

Peter: They made me feel like I was a sinner… Worthless and small.

Manasseh: They made you feel… Or you gave them permission to make you feel like you were a sinner… Worthless and small.

Peter: I gave them permission to make feel that way… Did it to myself. They didn’t make me feel anything. They didn’t do anything to me. I did it all to myself.

Manasseh: Yes, Peter. You did to yourself. This is called personal responsibility. The church has some responsibility of its own, by teaching its members, if they don’t follow the commandments of God, they are made to feel small and unworthy.

Peter: This leads me to a redundant question. Why do the members of the Mormon Church need to follow God’s commandments? I’m not sure if I understand anymore.

Manasseh: The commandments, or rather, the rules of the church are set up to protect the “flock” from wondering off into other “pastures.” The biblical Jesus often refers to his followers as his flock, or his sheep. The church had to set up boundaries to prevent its membership from exploring new areas of the mind and the heart. The church knew if they lost control over its followers, it would loosed its power and profits.

Peter: Manasseh, why are you so wise? Where do you get your wisdom?

Two days later…

Manasseh: Peter, are going to finish this blog?

Peter: that’s my intent.

Manasseh: Okay Peter, how do you intend to heal the rift between you and Martie Geltz?

Peter: I have nothing against Martie. I forgave her.

Manasseh: Forgive her of what? What did she do? Come on Peter, spill your beans.

Peter: why? People read this blog. My Dad read this blog. My Dad knows nothing about my debt to Martie. I pay my debt to Martie a year ago.

Manasseh: The truth is you ban Martie from your life for threatening to take you to court over the $600.00 you owed her.

Peter: Stop it, Manasseh. You’re embarrassing me. I didn’t like the idea of going to court when I have the fund to paid my debt.

Manasseh: Wow Peter, I thought you were all about your truth… your raw truth. It was a lot of money, wasn’t it Peter. You’re still mad at Martie, aren’t you Peter. Does the truth hurts?

Peter: Martie is dealing with own issues. She doesn’t want me in her life right now. She doesn’t want Anakha, Aminga, Lisa or Gene in her life. Do you expect me to publish this blog tonight?

Manasseh: Yes Peter, I do. Martie has been hurt. Her own beloveds wounded her. Anakha is doing everything in her power to heal that wound. You need to keep your heart open and ready to respond when the circle is call together.

Peter: What circle? When? How long are you going to keep me up tonight? I’m tired. I have to work tomorrow.

Manasseh: You know Anakha is forming the MA circle for healing old wounds. As a part of your healing, and forgiving those around you and including yourself, I want you to put it out there to the Universe. Yes, publish this blog and know when you go to bed, you will be bless with dreams of the beloved.

Peter: You’re kidding?

Manasseh: I don’t joke around when its come to matter of the heart. Love and Blessings, Peter. Go to bed, dear one.

2007-11-15T22:01:00.000-08:00

Words and phrases…
What do they all mean?
Write into it.
Write into what?
What you know…
What you feel…
What you believe…
What you trust…
What I trust? What I trust?
I trust the Universe.
I trust the Universe to get me there.
I have to trust… I need to trust… I choose to trust.
It’s what gets me through to the other side…
The other side of the pain.
The other side of the fear.
Why is there pain everywhere I see?
On every face that pass by me?
Is the world so full of pain that they can’t feel anymore?
They can’t feel their hearts…
They can’t feel their beloveds…
They can’t feel their desires… their passions… their dreams…
They can’t feel their breath…
They can’t feel their bellies burn with fire…
They become empty…
They become numb…
Without the fire, there is no life… they will die.
God is the fire, the passion that burns within the belly.
God is the heart that beats for the beloved.
God is the breath that breathes every emotion within the body.
God is the desire that drives every dream.
One question remains…
Can love heal the pain?

Body Talk: Part 1

2007-11-13T23:00:00.000-08:00

What does my left elbow have to say to me?

You hold me in… You covered me up. I want to be out in the open… I want to be naked. Yes, I am boning. So what if I’m ugly. But, I would love a tan.

The Guru That I Am

2007-11-13T11:32:00.000-08:00

This E-mail from my teacher…

Inspire me
Enrich me
Feed me
Where are you?
I want your words!
xo,
Anakha

If we align ourselves with one side
or the other, we will lose our chance
to work for peace. Reconciliation
requires understanding both sides
in order to bring about peace.
~ author unknown ~

GURU: Gee, yoU Are yoU ~ Rev. Berry Dennis

I am the Guru working for peace…
I am the Guru working for light…
I am the Guru working for spirit…
I am the Guru working for loves presences…
I am the Guru working for the Karmic Lords…
I am the Guru working for the Ascended Masters…

Why are you doing this work? I asked myself...

I want to cooperate fully with the Universe. I want to be in the flow of loves presences. I love Yeshua. I am radiant love. I am the lover. I am the sacred fire. My belly is on fire. I have the power to heal. Yeshua commands my heart. When I show up as the Guru that I am, I’m stepping out of the mundane, cripple body.

Write into the essences of Manasseh… Who is Manasseh?

Radiant light
Radiant love
Caring
Compassionate
Lover
Seeking the lover
Intuitive
Healer
Psychic
Way-shower
Open hearted
Radical honest
Peaceful
Peacemaker
Wisdom minded
Seeking wisdom
Crabby when tired
The sacred fire
My truth is raw
I slobber
I drool
I shuffle
I walked with a gate
My speech is slur
My mind is sharp
My heart is opened
I show up
Do people want to see me?
I don’t care
I just show up
I speak my truth
I walked my walk
I danced my dance
I rock my world.
I am Manasseh

Love and Blessings

Radiant Light

2007-11-12T23:51:00.000-08:00

I am here to show up as radiant light.
Light the world, I see.
I am here to show up, only all I came here to be.
I am here to show to you, the blessing that I am.
I am here to show to you, will you understand Radiant light
Come to this world, come to you, my friend
Come right here, come on down into this light, my friend
It’s all I ever known to give away
This light that shines through me, both night and day
I am here to give you,
Who I am, will you understand?
Do you understand?

And I’m ready to meet you
If you are ready to meet me
Yes, I’m ready to meet you
If you are ready to meet me
I am here as the light of creation
Shinning in everything
Shinning through my heart
Shinning through my hands
Shinning through my everything
Radiant light to shine upon you, now
Radiant light to shine upon you, now
Radiant light to shine upon you, now

Oh, just receive me
Oh, will you receive me
Oh, just receive me

I am all the light shine through me
From the beginning of time
I am here to let it be
I am radiant light and I let it shine on me
I am radiant light and I let it shine through me
I am radiant light, let it shine through me.

Lyrics By Michael Stillwater

Prayers that pack a punch!

1. This is good for me and Heaven will grant it. Beloved Yeshua to be my guide.

2. I bless and bless and bless and Praise and Praise and Praise the sleepwalking gods, people who annoy me

3. The Divine Idea, I will show up as radiant light and radiant love.

4. I Forgive Marti, Christine, and the LDS Church.

I Forgive Song

I forgive I forgive I forgive
I forgive and I just let you live
I let you be who you are
And that is a shinning star
In God’s Heaven!

Rev. Francis Lancaster

Okay, so they're not my words, but they written for me.

Mystical Activism 2005 - 2006 - December Homework Assignment

2007-11-08T22:00:00.000-08:00

The following is a paper, written in December of 2005. Some noticeable highlights as you read... The first glimpse of Peter dealings with his alter-ego, Manasseh (they're my dealings with Manasseh)... My disrespectful attitude towards the former church I'd attented... Also, a lot of heartache and pain. Interesting read... Enjoy.

=====================================================

“Martie is going to kill me!” I thought to myself. “No, she won’t,” answer a voice from inside my head. “Why do you think that?” “Because, I haven’t done my homework assignment that is due in January.” “Big procrastinator,” reply the voice. “Yea, but I did go home on Saturday night in December’s MA weekend, and I logon to Papa Ji’s website and read all about him.” I told the voice. “Yes, but you didn’t write your reflection paper on Papa Ji,” said the voice.

“Hey!” I cried out. “You better not be the same voice, that told me, I was going to married Kay when I was a practicing Mormon. I told you, to leave me alone and never speak to me ever again.” No reply came from the voice from my head. “Hmmm,” I thought, “something fishy.” I waited a minute and nothing else happen, so I went on about my business.

It have been about two years since I have left the Mormon Church and set out on my new spiritual path. Happiness had returned to my presents. New people had entered into my life and had brought gifts of knowledge. Two years ago, I would not have any kind of contact with, what members of the Mormon Church called, “Woo Woo people.” Prejudice and labeling seems so remote to me, now. I’m happy to report; I am one of those “Woo Woo people.”

As I reflect back on the days when I was involved with the Mormon Church, they give you the gift of “The Holy Ghost,” when you’re baptize into the Church. The Holy Ghost is sometimes referred to as the still small voice, when cultivated after a number of years, will begin to speak to you, in my case, as a voice inside my head. Could I have imaged this voice? Was I insane or mad? I don’t know. All I remembered, was my feelings were shut down and my heart closed off. I was taught you obey the commandments of God, and the still small voice. The Holy Ghost will never lead you astray.

In my view, the Holy Ghost will make you miserable if you’re not doing what you’re suppose to do, i.e. Keeping the “Mormon” commandments of God. I had many feelings and desires I wanted to express, but I wasn’t allowed to, this according to the dogmatic laws of the church. You were not allowed to feel or express anything from you heart, this could lead to “temptation and sin.” The leadership of church always taught you to listen to the voice of the Holy Ghost.

I observe many single members of the Mormon Church going through “the revolving door” of marriage. Single members would marry, only to find themselves back in the singles program of the church, after a short few months of marriage. Then, I would hear they have gone right back into another marriage. I was not exempt to the revolving door of marriage and divorce. Of course, there were those that were told by “the voice” they would marry someone only to have their desires dash against the rocks of reality. The other party didn’t reciprocate or was told, they’re not the one, by “the voice.” Such as the case with Kay Murphy. I was told; I’d was not the one for her by the Holy Ghost.

How barbaric is this thought? Being told by imagery voice, not to love another human soul to cover up feelings of the heart and to with hold the expression of love is nothing short of pride and prejudice. No wonder the mystic, Andrew Harvey is so verbal against self-righteous religion. Four years ago, I curse myself and the god who wrote this law of pride and prejudice.

“What do you mean; you curse yourself and the god who wrote the law of pride and prejudice? That doesn’t make sense,” said the voice, returning again.

“Ahh, you’re back. Are you here to help me write my reflection paper?” I asked the voice.

“Martie is going to think either you’re insane or you cannot write proper sentence structure. Why are dragging me, the voice inside your head, into this paper?” asked the voice.

“I’m writing whatever goes through my mind,” I told the voice.

“I think you’re just filling space,” said the voice. “Besides, your flingers on the keyboard can never keep up with your mind. So, it is futile to write down everything that goes through your mind. You need to turn the TV off and call you mother for the information you need.”

I did turn off the TV and I did called my mother. Actually, I talked to my Dad. He going to call me back with the information I needed.

“See, what did I tell you? It’s been at least 30 minutes since you had those thoughts. It takes you even more time to check your spelling, grammar and punctuation on the computer. Your will never keep up with your mind, no matter how hard you try.”

“I can always slow you down,” I told the voice.

“No, you can’t! You only choose what you’re going put down on paper. In your case, typing on to a electronic file, which holds your thoughts and ideas. I’m going to leave you now. But, before I do, you need to clarify your statement as to why did you curse yourself and the Universe for an idea that God had nothing to do with.”

“I didn’t curse the Universe!”

“Yes, you did. Are you, yourself a part of the Universe? You curse yourself you curse the Universe. You curse Kay, you curse the Universe.”

“Hey, wait a minute! I never said, that I curse Kay.”

“You said, you curse the god who wrote the thought or idea of pride and prejudice. Peter dear, pride and prejudice is not a law; it’s a choice. Kay rejected you of her own free will and choice. Kay could not hold you in her heart.”

“What! What do you mean she couldn’t hold me in her heart? Where did this idea come from?” I demanded to know.

“Perhaps, another time. I need to go. You need to go. May be, you can meditate on it.”

“Wait! You can’t leave me now. Who are you anyway?”

“Good-bye dear one,”

Kundalini Golf

2007-11-06T10:28:00.000-08:00

Is golf a spiritual practice?

My Dad bends down and places a golf ball on to a wooden tea. A golf ball is a one and a half inch diameter sphere, usually white, covered with tiny dimples embedded into a sealed plastic surface. He takes one of his clubs and addresses the golf ball. By addressing the golf ball, Dad spreads his legs apart; he then bends his back at the base of the spin. Without taking his eyes off the ball, he lines his club up with the ball.

Dad begins his swing by retracting his club back over and behind his head. With all of his force, he brings his club back around his body. He does this repeatedly until the ball reaches the green. Dad than bends at the waist, griping a putter in his hands, he taps the ball into the cup.

Kundalini is the spiritual energy release into the body by bending and twisting of the spin at the pelvis. Dad may be unaware of the kundalini chorusing through his body, he’s in vibrant health at the ripe old age of 81. Dad has been playing golf since the day I was born. Fifty years of Kundalini golf must be good for an old men’s body.

Remember, its doesn’t matter where the golf ball goes, or how long it takes to hit the golf ball into the cup. All that matter, is the excise of walking upon the green carpet of mother earth, breathing in the crisp air. And the raising kundalini within the body.

I was in ignorance back in my Mormon days. I thought the game of golf was totally waste of time and energy. Golf is my Dad’s church. Golf is my Dad’s spiritual practice.

Love and Blessing Dad.

The Identity Of Manasseh

2007-11-04T21:49:00.000-08:00

Identify yourself! Who are you? What’s your name? What’s your title? What is your agenda? Who do you work for? What is in your heart right now? Who influence this blog?

My name is Manasseh. I am Manasseh.

My title is the mystic warrior. I’m not the only mystic warrior running around on the planet. There are others like me. We are also known as light warriors.

I also have other titles. I am a mystical healer. I am a instrument for Yeshua.

My agenda is to participate in the great healing work of all beings, as they awaken to their true natural state, and join the great Transcendence, which is about to place on the planet.

Who do I work for? I work for Spirit. That unseen realm of light beings, whose desire is nothing more than to bring the inhabitants of this blue marble into a higher state of consciousness. I work for the karma lords and ascended masters whose oversees the work of the rebirth of humanity.

My heart is overflowing with compassion. The state of love, forgiveness, compassion, generosity, gratitude, wisdom, and peace are my core values. If I’m out of alignment with one of these values, I’m out of alignment with my true source. That source is called by many names.

I am influenced by the writings of Anakha Shannon Coman. Of all the beings that I have encounter, no one has ever cause me to split open my heart like a pomegranate and to looked inside at the dark places.

I am asked to end this blog entry for the night. Love and Blessings to my beloved community.

This Time, I Really Lost My Mind

2007-11-03T03:22:00.000-07:00

30 minutes later…

I tried going to sleep… but my wouldn’t turn off. Oh, great! Here I am again, blogging at 1:30 am. I wonder if I can access him again?

Who?

Yeshua.

Who is that?

Uh oh, wrong guy. I guess I did blow it. He’s gone.

Who is gone?

Whom am I talking to?

To me, your imagination.

It’s almost two in the morning and I’m talking to myself. What a waste of time.

Like I said, time is a little relevance here. I am going straight to point before you crash. Do you know what channeling is?

Yes.

I choose you to channeled me, your Beloved.

Uh oh, my imagination wants me to channel Yeshua, the Beloved. I heard about these people who think they’re Jesus Christ, only to be diagnose with some sort of metal illness and are institutionalize for a brief time, then thrown out, on to the street, left homeless with nowhere to go and no one to love. No thank you. I think I will keep my sound mind.

You know in your heart this is what you came here to do. There are people on the planet who are compassionate healers, way-showing mystics, spiritual avatars and reincarnated masters. You are one of these, Manasseh. It’s now time to bring your full gifts to the world. There will be ample opportunity to practice your craft. It will become second nature to you. There is nothing to fear… to worry; I will always be by your side, above and below, all around and inside.

You sound like that New Thought song.

I know, I was the one who wrote the words to the song. Only the words got downloaded. I am going to leave you now. Your mind will turn off and you will fall a sleep.

I don’t feel tired. Some how, I feel energize. Oh well…

Love and Blessings

Yeshua and Manasseh

2007-11-03T01:34:00.000-07:00

I always wonder what life was like walking with Yeshua. My heart desire a glimpse of the incredible journey we had together. I put it out to the Universe to know a gifted medium – hypnotherapist for past lives regression.

I feel tired… I am out of control. It’s late and I’m blogging.
There is a part of me that knew Jesus Christ.
I don’t like that name… People have polluted the name of Christ.
People have profane the name… People have murder in that name.

He has told me, He is known by many names. Pick a name that will endear me to Him. He has told me, He has always been with me, and He has never left my side, no matter what I did or how I felt about myself. He has told me, He is my Spirit Guide. How can I go wrong with Him by my side?

I’m getting tired. I’m going mad… Mad with love for the Divine… Mad with compassion for ever human being. I lost my mind. All comprehension thought is gone. Now what do I do?

Turn off the TV and put on some trance music. No, Peter. Not the radio… Not Coast To Coast AM. I said trance music.

What is Trance music? Do I have any? What does it do?

Trance music put you into hypnotic state where the beloved is touchable… where the Divine is reachable… where the God is obtainable. That pile of CD’s in front of you next to the Mac. Grab that one with the earth as the eye. Play it.

Huh? Mac? What is a Mac?

Good! You are dead to the world. You silly goose. Your iMac, you computer.

I lost my mind. I can’t think straight. It’s midnight. Who’s writing this blog? This music is too weird for me. The beat is pounded in my head. Where am I? Where is God? Who is God? Help Anakha, I don’t know up from down. My head hurts.

This is good… this is very good. You are in a perfect state where I can mold you as clay. Peter, you know that poem by Rumi you stated in the last blog.

Yeah, what about it? What does Rumi mean?

You have been looking for me all of your life. Well, it’s time for you to know your truth. You cannot play coy anymore. You cannot run away and hide you head in the sand. You cannot escape your own destiny. Do you have the guts… do you have the courage to bring your full gifts out into the open?

What are you going to do with me?

The time for playing scared is over… The time for playing small is also over… The time to discover your talent is here now. I pick you. I’ve been watching. Why do you think you had so many Angel watching and grading you for the past fifty years? Just for pleasure? No. I have a purpose for you.

I’m sure you going to tell me what it is, because it’s one o’clock in morning. Way past my bedtime.

Time has no relevancy here. Hey Peter, where are going? Don’t blow it.

I’m going to bed. Good night.

Love and Blessings.

The Return Of The Comforter

2007-10-31T22:44:00.000-07:00

Look for the soul,
You become soul.
Hunt for the bread,
You become bread.
Whatever you look for,
You are.
~ Rumi ~

The night is coming.
I can feel it come.
I lost Berry… I lost Ken.
Now I’m going to lose Ra.
Ra is going away… going to the great unknown.

Will I say my good-byes to another soul brother?
Go deeper, Peter.
Why? I asked.
I don’t want to go deeper.
You need to go deeper into the shadow.
I can’t see my way. I will trip over a stone.
If you say you will. You will.

Hold on to your old belief and you will fall.
I don’t want to fall. I don’t like falling. It’s scary.
It’s dark. The abyss is deep and dark. I get lost in the dark.
The unknown world… The unknown universe.
The light doesn’t shine. I cannot see my way.

Wait! There is a glimmer of light off in the distance.
I see a light ahead of me…

My soul wants to go deeper into the shadows of my essence.
Why? I asked, why do I want to see the shadow side…
The dark side?

Manasseh wants to go deep and discover for myself, the dark secret places in my soul. To bring into wholeness, the wounded parts of myself that they may be heal. To embrace the broken hearted side of myself. To follow my teacher into the great abyss of the crucible. To flow with love presences to prepare myself to participate in the great Transcendence which is about to place in human history.

Why do I want to go there? Why do I want to see the ugly side, the dark side, the unpleasant side of my being? Do I want to see my temper… my anger… my rage? Who plus my buttons? Why do I want be out of control?

The rage… the madness… the sadness… the grief… the lost… the abandonment… the loneliness… the blame… the guilt… the unworthiness… the ridicule… the humiliation… the smallness… the obligation… the fear.

I start to cried. Tears dripping down my face. Then, I heard a faint whispering, “I felt these same things as you.”
Yeshua? I asked.
Yes, Manasseh, it’s me. Blessed one, you need to stop for the night. You have done enough writing for one night. Go to sleep in peace, my beloved.
Thank you, Yeshua.

Love and Blessings.

Today

2007-10-30T08:30:00.000-07:00

I awoke this morning, melted into the presence of love. The voice in my heart was singing to me. My heart was singing to me. I could feel this intense love wash over me. I knew this was the day.

Today is the day. Are you ready? Today is not a day for fear… Not a day for procrastination. Today is not a day to hide your light under a bush. Today is not a day for nervousness. But a day for action.

I reach for the phone, and made a couple of calls. And I was met with something called resistance. I could feel that fear… That nervousness… That embarrassment coming up form the floor. I reach within me for that same presence that stir me awake this morning. My heart was immediate calm by that power and presences that resides inside me.

This is waiting game now. My intentions have been set. All I had to do was to be patient and let the Universe works its magic. I sat down to blog my feelings of this morning. I also notice I’m rested and I’m not battling with my ego. I am one with the presence of my higher power I called Manasseh.

Today is the day for Love and Blessings. Blessed Be.

Omnipresence On The Internet

2007-10-28T22:55:00.000-07:00

Guess what happens when you Google, Anakha Coman? You get a whole of info on her, and then look at the fourth listing down the page… Oh, My God! I’m on the Internet!

Yes Peter. God sees you. And God sees Anakha too. You’re in Divine Company. Now, your soul brother, Quin, knows where to find you. He is going to tell all of his soul brothers and sisters about the “You Are God!” blog.

Good! They will find the “Naked Heart” blog. Think you, Manasseh. I think the “Naked Heart” blog is a better blog than mine. I thought I was not allowed to blog late at night?

Yes Peter, we do have that agreement. It doesn’t matter which blog is better. Peter, you know better than this. Why do you stick your ego in a place where doesn’t belong? This the point why you are not suppose to blog late at night. You had a long and eventful day, and now you are tired.

But, I want to share my spiritual experiences of this day to my Beloved community… to my soul brothers and sisters.

They are going have to wait until you are rested. When your ego is out of the way. It’s eleven o’clock at night; it is your bedtime. You have to work tomorrow.

Good night… Love and Blessings

The Sacred Fire of Compassion

2007-10-27T20:28:00.000-07:00

What price do you pay to be purified by love’s fire? The sacred element carried by Yeshua when he walked the earth… That treasure I was sent into a distant land to obtain.

Borne into a physical body that was imperfect by a disease known as Cerebral Palsy. In childhood I grew, to know the pain of the taunts, the teasing, the harmful ridicule. To know the feelings of rejection and loneliness was almost unbearable. I gain some acceptances in high school by struggling to keep up with the other children. Still, I was left out many circles, I seek a religion that would elevate my social status and self worth.

I found some nurturing love in the “Mormon” circle only by following their rules, and to exclude others that would not “keep the commandments.” The restriction of the guilt to associate with “other not of the faith” was built around fear, they had some kind of communal disease found with the filthy.

I felt the urges of my body as I entered manhood. There was that dirty, unworthy feeling as I played with my penis. For thirty years, the habit has plague my heart and mind. The terror of being discovered by church authorities who that would prevent my entry into the Temple where I had the only peace I found. My mind was in a struggle, a constant battle between the flesh and the spirit. I despise my body for what it did to ridge religious mind set, my dogma mind, my monkey mind. My mind was rack with guilt, for I am a sinner.

The deep dark secret of mine is finally uncovered. Oh, the relief to be exposed and the torture mind have at last found peace. Compassion is the soothing blanket that covers every infirmity, every affliction; every self-destructed thought your minds can congers up.

Compassion is the sacred element carried by Yeshua when he walked the earth.
Compassion is that treasure I was sent into this distant land to obtain. Compassion is the result of the sacred fire that’s purified the naked heart.

It’s time to celebrate! It’s party time.

Love and Blessings

Fire Changes Everything

2007-10-23T22:54:00.000-07:00

Southern California is on fire.
On fire for God?
Maybe? Maybe not?
People hearts are in fear.
So many hearts are scared this day.
Evacuation orders,
People on the move.
From the flames of destruction, they run.
From the air choking smoke, they escaped.
Attachments gone.
Possessions lost.
Homes burned.
Businesses destroyed.
Global climate change may be to blame.
Hot temperatures forecast weather report.
When the fires are out,
The populist will rebuild,
Rebuild their lives, rebuild their homes.
Let nature be,
Mote it be.

The Truth Hurts Bad, Even This Blog Is Bad

2007-10-21T22:53:00.000-07:00

My mind jolts me awake and starts rambling at 5:30 in the morning. My mind rambles on about the nakedness of God. The fire in my heart starts to burn with the knowledge of the nakedness of God. Questions begin to rise in my mind, why do we as a culture cover up our beautiful, sacred bodies? How will we ever know the Divine if we cover up ourselves with the clothes of the ego? I think I have been influence by the writings of Anakha Coman, and I had lost my mind. So what? Big deal. Rumi lost his mind in the ecstasy of God. I must be in good company?

Could it be I was brain washed… I was reprogrammed into thinking, when Adam and Eve were found naked in the Garden of Eden, they were given garments representing the coat of skins to cover up their nakedness. When Adam and Eve discovered their nakedness, they hide from the presence of God for they were ashamed. God was angry with them for partaking of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Is there something I’m missing here? I don’t get it. Why would God be pissed off at his own magnificent creation dancing in the nude?

Remembering a scene from the movie, Titanic, Jack sketches a artist rendition of Rose in all her magnificent glory to which she replies to her interviewers, “It is the most erotic moment in my life.” Of course the screenplay is only fictional which gives it the most sensual moment in the whole movie. The recent experience of a young, beautiful woman baring her breasts in an act of self-expression for freedom with the Divine were both shocking and erotic for me. A part of me was surprisingly shock due to the lack of exposure to the female anatomy. Another part of me was aroused by her beauty and her willingness to display herself in celebration of the Divine sacred feminine in front of the dancing crowd.

I’m back from the day’s events… the morning at Celebration Church and the afternoon at work. It’s time to get to the point and wrap up the ramblings of this blog before my bed time.

It was if my thinking mind had made 180 degree turn back the wrong way.

STOP RIGHT THERE, MISTER! There is no WRONG WAY in this journey you are now on.

Oh boy. Here we go again. More rambling of Manasseh.

No. It is your own mind that is doing the rambling, Peter. This is the very point why you were mentally sick the last five years of your “Mormon Life.”

What do you mean by mentally sick?

Admit it, Peter. Why won’t you acknowledge the truth of who you are instead of denying it?

Do you realize people read this blog?

I understand. What? Are you afraid of a little embarrassment? Big fucking deal. What has Anakha been teaching you the past couple of months?

Okay. I’ll admit it. I watched pornography movies during the time I was attending the Temple.

Now, we’re getting somewhere. You’re making some progress.

How long do we have to continue this blog? I’m tired and I want to go bed.

It’s your choice. It’s your blog. It’s your mind, and you are responsible for your own mind. You may quit anytime you like. Just give the blog a title and you’re done. I’m sure Anakha is waiting to read it.

She going to think I’m creepy for writing about pornography.

I can’t believe you have such shallow mind to even think this way, let alone to write it. You are above it. Anakha is above it.

I always wonder how this started out as a one-person narrative, and it turns into a two people narration? I don’t know why, Manasseh, you have to butt in, when I was doing well with the one-person narrative?

Now, you’re being rude. You need to go to bed. I butt in to squish your ego, Peter.

I’m way off point of my blog. I’m just rambling now. I have lost my mind. I’m going crazy.

No, Peter, you just need go to sleep.

May be I won’t publish this crazy blog.

GOOD NITE, PETER.! Don’t forget the title.

Only If You Knew What This Process Is All About

2007-10-20T18:46:00.000-07:00

Why do we as a culture and in society mute the dying process? Let me put it another way. I would like to know why the transition process is taboo in our America society. People won’t talk about it. They don’t even deal with it. In fact, they will run and hide from their true destiny, transition and death. Death is an integral part of the life cycle, we are borne… we come in, we live… we do our business, and we die… and we leave. What is so wrong with something so natural, our souls have been doing over centuries of life times? How come we’ll go to a hospital to see a new born baby, but we won’t go for the last time to see a dying friend?

I raise my hand and tell you, I am guilty of this. The experience of going to St. Vincent hospital to see Robert Winters, a friend and co-worker, Tigard Home Depot’s Santa Clause, lying there in the hospital bed, unresponsive, was overwhelming devastating and frighten to me. With emotion welling up inside, I exploded out of his hospital room in tears, vowing never again would I ever see another individual in that vegetation state. Little did I know what was in store for me, God gave me ample opportunity to learn this valuable lesson. I have yet to respond up until now.

Ken Dueker has left this life teaching us an important lesson. I skip work this morning and went to the Men’s talking circle only to learned the transitional and death process is so beautiful in the human expression of uniting friends and love ones in one last passionate embrace of radical forgiveness and love. There is no doubt in my mind, Ken came in, did his business, and left. He left with an impact on those who knew him well. The gentle giant with the great big grin has left us with his energy still in tact, for I experience him sitting in the chair, smiling and laughing at us, along with the priceless expression on his face, if to say, “Only if you knew what this process is all about.”

We really do not have the right to circumvent someone else process of becoming. We have no right to “Fix” someone. After experiencing the higher vibration of Living Enrichment Center one Sunday morning, I went to my afternoon meetings at the Mormon Church, only to encounter the lower vibration of someone to “fix” me, “calling me to repentance.” I had a choice. I worked my process without fear or regret.

Love and Blessings.

P.S. Ra, I’m going stick to you like glue until the end.

Ra, Don't Go Without Saying Good-Bye

2007-10-19T19:09:00.000-07:00

I got an E-mail tonight from Jerry Preator and Paul Missal announcing the passing of Ken Dueker. Ken made his transition peacefully Thursday night. I’m grateful Ken does not have to suffer in pain any longer. I have lost a soul brother. In July, I lost another soul brother, Berry Breier. Now, my attention turns to Ra, another soul brother who is battling cancer. I asked the Universe, “What is going on here? Why are you taking people I know and love?”

Should I be questioned the wisdom of Universe? Should I wake up and pay attention to the message the Universe is trying to send? What can I do to help Angel Ra Garcia? Will Ra go with Berry and Ken into the great unknown… into the great Spirit World?

My heart wants to grieve for Berry, Ken, and for Ra. My heart is telling me, tonight, to skip work tomorrow and go to a Men’s Talking Circle, where I can share my grief with other men who knew Ken. Tonight, I am open to my grief.

I don’t want to lose any more brothers. I don’t want to lose Ra! My heart wants visit with Ra. I want to hold him in my arms. I want to pray a Native American prayer with him. I want to bless him and heal him. I didn’t get to say good-bye to Berry and Ken. Through my tears, I’ll be damn, if it going to be the same way with Ra.

Love and Blessings.

The Barbaric Nightmare

2007-10-15T23:03:00.000-07:00

I recently viewed a TV commercial about Billy Graham’s new book, “Finding Peace With God.” My mind immediately flashes back to junior high school, where I was introduce to “Jesus.” Or should I say inducted into the Christian culture. This is where I was “taught,” Jesus died on the cross for “our sins.” In this culture, I was also taught, It was “Our fault” that Jesus died on the cross.

Just after entering high school, I discovered the Mormon Church, with its little less guilt associated with the barbaric notion. In ignorance, I spent thirty years at this plateau at my own choosing. I am reminded by a higher thought of consciousness; this period of my life was perfection for my spiritual development. In this body, as well, the valuable aspect of compassion is gain.

Remembering the agony of self-absorb, feeble attempt to gain control over two failed marriages, the voice inside my head, mistaken to believe to be the Holy Ghost, ordering me to endure 10,000 days of sackcloth and ashes aka self punishment. For five years following the brake up of my second attempt at marriage, I was plunge into a self-made dark pit of hell. I was tortured by my own self-made daemons, which mutilated my hands and face on a nightly basses. Feelings of worthlessness flooded my dark hellish mind constantly. The only relief from these self-made daemon was in public places and social gatherings.

The day I walked through the doors of the Living Enrichment Center was the day I emerge from my self-made dark hellish pit. As I progress on my journey towards the light, I remembered riding the bus to a house that had been converted into a healing space located on East Burnside Street. I opened the door and went inside and climbed the staircase to an upstairs room where a meeting was in progress. I opened the door to a candle lit room where people were singing about healing and peace. One lady with long dark hair, motions me to come in and have a seat. She warmly greeted me with a smile. There were a few others who seem to be a bit disturb or shock that she would allowed an outsider into their circle. I believe I crashed a Mystical Activism meeting.

I remembered my hostess passing out little 3 x 5 cards and begin a writing exercise. She asked the people in the circle to write a statement about how they would viewed them in one year. I remembered that invisible force taking my hand and writing the words:

“I am a Mystic. I am a Sage. I am a Avatar. I am a Master. The Universe is accelerating my awakening and my spiritual growth.”

I went home that night with a glowing fire in my heart. Ever since that night, I have seek out “Fire in the Heart” experiences. I have been to many rituals and healing circle ceremonies. I find myself addicted to “Fire in the Heart” ceremonies. I can’t get enough of them. I want to experience the “Fire in the Heart” every day. The day is at hand. The Kingdom of Heaven is at our doorstep waiting for us to open the door…Waiting to burst open the doors to our hearts. The Sacred Fire is the way to the “Fire in the Heart.”

By the way, you know that lady who greeted me with warm smile and welcomed me into her Mystical Activism circle, that was the Beloved Anakha Shannon Coman.

Love and Blessings.

Spiritual Networking

2007-10-14T22:50:00.000-07:00

I going to be short and sweet tonight. I know you’ve been waiting for what new experience the Universe may bring you. I’ve felt these same yearning too. This I know, the Universe is ready to ratchet it up a notch…God and the Angels are bringing “Light-Minded” together all over the planet. All this for one purpose only, building of spiritual community. People are flocking to these spiritual communities for connection and healing. I have often wonder how two complete strangers come together by finding one another in a sea of billions, hook up and begin a journey together. I encounter two such people this evening. A male friend, whom I known since my LEC days, and a lady, who I’ve met for the first time tonight. Just by the feel of the energy of the conversation, I can tell these people have work to do before parting ways. I love the way Spirit works.

Love and Blessings

I Wonder What Would It Be Like?

2007-10-13T21:09:00.000-07:00

What would it be like to forgive a long held grudge? What would it be like to untangle yourself from fear, resentment, and guilt? What would it be like to wish away all your shame and humiliation? What would it be like to release or to let go of every petty emotion you have ever felt in your body? What would it be like to love yourself like your own best friend? What would it be like to experience true freedom and perfection by letting go of all the negative baggage you’ve carried for years? What would it be like to be in silent meditation for forty days and forty nights? What would it be like to experience the flow of Loves presence hour by hour? What would it be like to have communion with Yeshua, The Divine from this point in your life forward, for the rest of your life? What would it be like to be in tune and alignment with the Universe and all manifestations were in synchronicity with your dreams and desires? What would it be like to lift and heal another soul?

What would you become? Would you become a Jesus, a Buddha, a Mohammad, and a Krishna? Who would you be? A enlighten soul, a Mystic, a Sage, an Avatar, a Master?

This is the state that can be reach when you become your Divine self, imparting your gifts of aliveness and wisdom. Go be in love with all of it!

Love and Blessings.

Chocolate Chip Cookies For The Divine

2007-10-11T23:36:00.000-07:00

In honor of Ken Dueker, who may be leaving our presence shortly, I made four dozens chocolate chip tonight to share my Home Depot family. Ken Dueker, I'll miss your presence at Sabbath Tuesday. The first time I met Ken, was at LEC, in January 2004. Ken is a tell man with a gentle smile. This man knew how to love. This man knew how to show up and give his love to every one around him, Even when he didn't feel very good, he would always show that wonderful smile of his.

With ever chocolate chip I eat now, I'll think of you, Kan Dueker. That sweet taste of the Divine is waiting for you with open arms. Love and Blessins. Peter Manasseh

When You Think You're Right, You're Wrong!

2007-10-10T18:54:00.000-07:00

Wow! I can't believe this. I'm getting all kinds support for my blog. My heart is overflowing with joy. Thank you, Anakha, for pushing me over the edge. shortly after publishing last night's blog, I got an e-mail from a man for whom I admire all my life. My Dad. He sent me this message:

Hi Peter,

Some none religious person said it long ago. "To thine own self be true"
which I always understood to mean do not blame others for your short comings, admit your mistakes, feel good about your successes, try not to worry about how you perceive others see you, have faith in yourself as you truly are.

I love you, Dad! I remembered for years, we would have intense and heated discussion about religion. I took the position that I had to be right. My religion was the only true religion. And every one else was wrong. After 30 years in that mind set, I see things very differently now. I had no idea, back than, my own father was more spiritual than I was. His spirituality surface a year ago during one of our evening walks around the golf course when I was recovering from my knee injury. The discussion was about religion melting away into nothing but spirituality. A peacefulness flow into my body and over my heart. I finally connected with my Dad.

A final parting thought for tonight. "To thine own self be true." This a fearless statement. There nothing to fear when you are true to yourself. You are true to God. "Have faith in yourself as you truly are." means to me; do the best with what you have.

Love and Blessings.

Know God And Go Crazy!

2007-10-09T18:20:00.000-07:00

I think I just open a can of worms. My mentor just push me over the edge. This afternoon, I got to hang out with Anakhe and my good friend, Gene. We just hung out and had good time talking about our dreams and aberrations. The discussion center the creativity of writing. Writing stories...writing books...writing blogs, whatever writing does to connect you with the Devine. In this big heart of mine are many stories just waiting to be pour out on to the table for all to see. I was given a assignment, two years back, by my Spirit Guide. The assignment is to write a book, which I have been (I gotta go seek a big word from my spelling master) procrastinating to write.

Yeshua, I want to stop here and write about Gene. Gene is a big, open hearted guy, with big dreams. Gene is into digital media. Gene loves to make and produce videos. His big dream is to produce a DVD documentary about the connection with the Divine. This I know, because he filmed two hours at my birthday party, (October 1st) and two more hours this afternoon. I sure hope he's a good editor and gets my good side.

Peter, you're so vain!
Yeshua?
Nope. I'm Manasseh. Your higher-self, your God-self.
I feel Manasseh is harder on me than Yeshua. Manasseh, do you now realize we're live?
What do you mean, Peter? We are alive.
NO! I mean, Anakha and Gene came over to the apartment. Anakha discover my new blog on the computer. She sat down to read it.
"This is good stuff." she told me. "Is it going out to any one?"
"No. Not yet." I reply.
"Here, lets make e-mail list and publish the URL." Anakha grabs the keyboard from me and finds my contacts list.
"Okay Peter, who do you want on the list." Ask Anakha. First, she challenge me for twenty people on the list.
"How bout ten?" I said.
"15?" She negotiated with me.
"Okay. 15." We go through my contacts list. She adds two more e-mails of people who know me. We review the list of names and end up with 25 names.
"I shell give you the honors." Anakha said as she moves the mouse arrow over the "Send" button.
Here I am, bloging to the world, and talking to myself. People are going to think I'm crazy.
You are crazy, Peter. Anakha is crazy. Gene is crazy. This is the process what Andrew Harvey discribe to know God. To know the Divine from within.
I think I just have lost my mind. I have open up a can of worms.
You're in good company, Peter. Don't threat! Get over it.
I asked Anakha today, how she was doing? "I'm going crazy, Peter." She reply. "You want to join me?"
I have found my teachers, and I'm so grateful they are in my life. I'm back on the path again and going crazy.

Love and Blessings.

The Naked Truth

2007-10-09T08:32:00.000-07:00

The theme of the day seems to be integrity. Anakha spoke about it in her blog. She describes it as radical honesty. As I read her blog every night, she reveals a little more of herself by peeling off the layers of her false-self. She adds in her blog, the build up of pain of being hurt and disappointment over the years, we develop masks and disguises as buffers to protect our hearts from being expose to the world.

In his last few discussions, Barry, has been describing ways of moving into higher levels of consciousness. Barry usese the metaphor of building a new building. Do we take short cuts and use inferior materials or do we use the best quality of the materials in our building? It will cost more in the long run for upgrades and repaires. Why not be in integrity now, by useing "Up front cost," which in turn we will have a more sustainable building or environment for our use and enjoyment?

What is Spirit trying to say to me? What is Yeshua teaching me? I ware a green necklace and pendulant to remind me who I am and the power I have. The first time I placed it around my neck, I can hear Spirit saying to me, "Integrity is Upmost." If I want to hang out with these "Light-Minded" people, I must step up to the plate and take full personal responsibility. To be in integrity...To expose the naked truth. I honor Anakha and Barry as my teachers. I love them.

Love and Blessings,

Shift

2007-10-06T19:24:00.000-07:00

Last week, I move to a new bank. The church I attend, is moving to a different location. I feel a shift is coming. What does this mean to me? Something in my inner world is reflecting outwardly. I have notice recently how my thoughts seem to have shifted. Not to long ago, I can remember thinking...I'm a good person...there is nothing wrong with me...I am worthy...My Heavenly Father still loves me, even thuogh I left His earthly church.

Now, my thoughts are...I am the perfect love of God...Be still and know I am God...I am Manasseh, Mystical Healer, Light Warrior...Yes, I am a healer. I have manifasted one of my biggest dreams. I manifasted an Alaska cruise. I have manifasted the most awaken and beautiful souls I have ever met. I attend possibly the most dynamic spiritual community in the country. I am greatly influence by two great living souls who must be under the guidance of Yeshua. between the two, my soul vibrates with loves light healing peace.

Anahka S. Coman, what can I say about this woman. Wow, What a Goddess! A New Thought traveling minister. She is some one who does not have their own church, i.e. spiritual community. So, what does she do? She builds her own virtual spiritual community and blogs. I religiously read those blogs every night before bed. She feeds my soul by the way she expresses herself with her powerful wit and the command of language. A link to NakedHeart is found on this page. I regularly respone to her blog. One coment I made on 24 September 2007:

I want to command you for binging Anakha, authentic Anakha.
Bold, raw, and vulnerable.
I see the nakedness of Anakha lay out before us, in all her beauty.
So vulnerable before God...you and me.
Congratulations Anakha, you made it back...Back to the real you.
You see, when you learn to love yourself..Actually BEING in love with
yourself, then you are in love with God...Your Holy-BEINGness.
Revelations Of Christ, Paramahansa Yogananda, 2007. This is the book
you’re suppose to have in your hands.
With Love, Manasseh

Barry A. Dennis, Amazing genius, a big dreamer and manifaster. With his own church in a brand new building located in wilsonville, Oregon, Barry can dazzle the day lights out of his audience with his creative poetry, It's A New Day. Barry holds my soul spellbound by converting the ordinary into the extraordinary. What a gift this man has by teaching his congrates to "GO BE IT!"

Love and Blessings

The Holy Month of Ramadan

2007-10-05T05:52:00.000-07:00

My Muslim friend and co-worker, Mohammad, invited me to fast with him this Friday morning. Ramadan is a Holy month for Muslims, where the devoted fasts from Sun up to Sun down, than partakes a celebratory meal each evening.

See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramadan

I told Mohammad, I wasn't much of a faster, which is a throwback to my Mormon days. The Mormon church require its members to fast 24 hours or two meals. Than donate the proceeds for those two meals into a "Fast Offering Fund" for the church.

Fasting for 24 hours cause me great suffering. It was hard on my body, and my mind. All I can think about is food. Going without subsistence can inpede my proformance and my ability to funtion, and if gone long enough, I can become physcally sick. It's important for me to listen to my body.

I do want to honor my friend, Mohammad, and his religious faith by fasting six hours on this, the holist day of the week for Muslims. Mo, (the name we call him at work) You are God! May the Peace of God be with you.

Love and Blessings.

The Authentic Voice

2007-10-04T20:55:00.000-07:00

Where did I get this voice? Did these words comes out of me? Who wrote these words?

"I am Manasseh, The Mystic Warrior. I have come from the Light of Universal Love, to this planet to participate in the great healing work of all beings that I shall come in contact during my time on Earth. I am healed and empowered by the invisible golden light that which is the Source called Love. That Source is called by many names. I am a powerful being, protected by the Angelic Realm that surrounds the planet Earth. I come with an open heart, and a willing mind to receive all wisdom that which is pass down from the great Mystics, Sages, Avatars, and Ascended Masters." 25 October 2005

What force cause me to write beautiful words?

"I believe in the invisible golden light that which is the Source called Love.
The Universal Light Source. Creator of all that is, seen and unseen.
I honor Elohim, the Highest of the Karma Lords.
I honor Yeshua as a Ascended Master and my Spirit Guide.
I honor Manasseh, the Light Warrior that dwells in me as one with you.
I honor Buddha, Jesus, Krishna, and Mahatma Gandhi as spiritual teachers.
And I shall pay tribute to His Holiness, the Dali Lama as he demonstrates
Peace against the violence that is a plague upon the Globe.
We are one with the planet, with every creature that dwells there on.
When we hurt one, we hurt all,

I believe in Spirit that is energy, which it cannot be destroyed or manipulated by the ego of man.
But is integrated for the service of holistic mediumship for the healing of the broken spirit.
The inherent need to connect in community brotherhood of man as in the world of spirits.
Without condemnation or judgment from any entity, but with personal responsibility can each individual soul can experience the whole spectrum of the human condition in several lifetimes and gain critical knowledge for its mastery devolvement through reincarnation.
We are God." 26 September 2006

Answer: The Inner voice. We all have it...It's in every one of us. Some called it their higher power. It comes from the center of your heart.

Love and Blessings to all